having a wobbly day...

Uniscots97

LP, I hope you're ok. Signing off now but will check in tomorrow. PM me if you want. You're not alone, you can get through this, ok?

Uniscots97

Little_Pickle wrote: »

you're going to lynch me for this... but..no there isn't.
My friends didn't like him after the first time and basically said they would rather not see me than see me get hurt again.
So my mates dropped off of the radar.

We have joint mates... but that could just get messy. Some of them know bits and pieces about our situation, but not everything.

I can look into a counsellor... I think that would be a good idea.

just saw your reply before logging off and had to reply. I know where you're coming from with the friends thing my situation was similar. The ones I didn't lose were so taken in by him they thought I was telling lies. Not nice. Check about a counsellor. Here if you want to talk. Must dash, but I will login tomorrow morning and see how you are.

Horace

Ever thought of giving him a taste of his own medicine? What is good for the goose is also good for the gander.

Me being a tad devious - would also register on the same sites as him using an entirely different name of course as well as making up some other details and respond to his postings that way. Make your fantasy persona as irresistable as possible and I am sure he'll take the bait. You have to be really devious to do this to not give the game away and arrange to meet him - its worth it just to see his face when he turns up. I think the term for this is setting a honey trap:rotfl:

If there is no trust in the relationship then there is no point in continuing. You only have one life so live it don't waste it on him.

Your mates may have dropped off the radar but there is no harm in re-acquainting yourself with them. I am sure they would appreciate the call.

I know where you are coming from with regards to mates after I got married to the ex he managed to cut me off from all of them. When I eventually came to my senses some time (about 20 years *eek*) I got in contact with some of them again and now we are friends again. I have also made other friends too that are not joint friends with my new OH they are my friends and we go out for dinner, for laughs etc.

Its about time you put yourself first for a change. You should always think of you first, second, third etc.

Little_Pickle

thanks guys...

shineyhappy... thank you very much! You are so kind!
I'll be fine... I guess I just needed to rant (as I daren't at home... what on earth would happen??)

Our session last night just knocked me for six and I guess I'm trying to make sense of everything.

I'm not one to give up easily and he is my boy. I'm not giving up yet as I still believe that it'll be resolved. He's a complicated and opinionated little sod, but we do love each other.

It was Mr P who suggested Relate. He is also having private councelling (since Jan) which he arranged himself before I found out about his latest antics, so I'm hoping that he has realised and turned a corner.

If not for me and 'us', then at least for himself.

I just needed to vent about last night I guess.... I need a glass of vino!

Also, I would just like to say a big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and post. Your support will go with me.

Thanks guys...
LP
xox

Little_Pickle

Horace wrote: »

I would also register on the same sites as him using an entirely different name of course as well as making up some other details and respond to his postings that way. I think the term for this is setting a honey trap:rotfl:

I actually did this after I found out about the latest thing in Feb.
I obviously didn't let him know that I had set up an account or contacted him, but he didn't bite.

He still doesn't know I did this...

He's since closed the accounts.

daphne_descends

So he has been emotionally deceptive and emotionally cheating on you since the first three months of your relationship, it's gone on for a further 2.5 years, and you are saving up for a house with this guy?

What do you get out of this relationship?
Why do you think he will change?

Sorry. He sounds like a complete loser. I would rather be single for the rest of my life than with someone who had such little respect for me.

Merlot

LP, you're not going to like this, but in my opinion you should end the relationship NOW, he is only going to do it again and again to you, life is too short.

You will find someone else who loves you for who you are.

This guy isn't worth it.

Hugs to you, and I'm sorry if I have upset you.

Merlot.x.

nottslass_2

Hi little pickle,I know exactly what you are going through and how you are feeling. 2 months ago my OH left himself logged into his email account and I discovered he'd been "picking" up women on face book and emailing them for which I'll politely describe as "sexy talk". This too has left me feeling like a worthless piece of you know what - asking myself why I wasn't good enough,what was wrong with me etc ? His only explanation was it was an ego boost and that at the time it didn't seem like "real life".My confidence and self esteem couldn't be any lower at the mo ! Anyway we too had our second session with relate yesterday,it seems to be helping a bit ( it was his idea that we went) I really don't know if we'll be able to work this out or what the future brings, I go from being so hurt and angry that I want to do a "loretta bobbit" on him and at others I'm desperate to stay and work through this.I don't know what else to say other than when you feel like having a dam good rant I'll join you !!!!

emsywoo123

What is it about some men and not thinking online is "real life"?! When my OH and I first got together, he did the same for a couple of weeks, I found out went mental and said enough is enough and ended it. We then carried on talking, I explained that I still felt he should not do it, adn used this site as an example of people helping each other, and that just cos you might not meet someone, they are still real people, with thoughts and feelings.
fingers crossed this has worked, as he does not do it anymore. well unless of course he is double sneaky clever, but I trust him

ailuro2

You were having a wobbly day - no wonder - you have no firm foundation to stand on when your boyfriend is undermining you all the time.

No-one here can make you see you deserve better than you have, only you will see that for yourself, in time.

He's having his cake and eating it.

If you trust him, then do what another poster suggested, lay a honey trap for him, tell him you're late at work or whatever and see if you can find him...

ps it's inexcusable to actually hit anyone, I'm glad you've sought help with your temper.