IA's road to becoming a CAB Debt adviser.

wannabespendthrift

Hi IA

Frequent lurker, infrequent poster. Hope you don't mind my tuppenceworth on tatoo/Wii/new guitar ....

I get what you're saying about how you ONLY now have (a) your credit card (b) hubby's credit card (c) telly on interest free and (d) car loan but that's still four committments? I would never dare to say anything about the tattoo given that you have your heart set on it as a tribute to your mum but I would gingerly put forward the next point (gulp) -

Everyone on here says you are fab at debt-busting etc. and from a lurker's point of view you are very together for one so young BUT (and feel free to correct me on this) I never see you post up a current SOA only what you have coming in versus what you need to pay out in bills and the surplus ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL is supposed to go on your debts. It might just be a little bit all or nothing, do you think?? I've read you on here saying 'oh that's just the type of person I am' but that leaves you with huge peaks and troughs. What if you thought about a proper budget with all the bills accounted for and say £50 each spendypennies or whatever and £50 towards c/card or whatever. I don't know if those figures are viable but you know what I mean I hope. You would have structure in paying off the debts and hopefully wouldn't be adding to them as you would be breaking the 'splurge then purge' cycle. You say you're enjoying not having to worry so much about money but money doesn't have to be always be a worry and if you kept cash back until you had what you wanted it might break the card cycle. Maybe this is what you are thinking with the tatoo paying for cash, I don't know.

Please minions, don't pelt me. I'm not having a go, just suggesting a look from a different angle. Sxx

immoral_angeluk

bandraoi wrote: »

How did you end up with 11 sources of debt in the first place? I'll bet you deserved everything you bought yourself on the way to that too. . .

No it wasn't. I didn't do anything to earn what I bought. I just spent on it without thinking of the consequences or how I would pay it off. It was a 'buy now worry about it later' attitude.

immoral_angeluk

wannabespendthrift wrote: »

Hi IA

Frequent lurker, infrequent poster. Hope you don't mind my tuppenceworth on tatoo/Wii/new guitar ....

I get what you're saying about how you ONLY now have (a) your credit card (b) hubby's credit card (c) telly on interest free and (d) car loan but that's still four committments? I would never dare to say anything about the tattoo given that you have your heart set on it as a tribute to your mum but I would gingerly put forward the next point (gulp) -

Everyone on here says you are fab at debt-busting etc. and from a lurker's point of view you are very together for one so young BUT (and feel free to correct me on this) I never see you post up a current SOA only what you have coming in versus what you need to pay out in bills and the surplus ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL is supposed to go on your debts. It might just be a little bit all or nothing, do you think?? I've read you on here saying 'oh that's just the type of person I am' but that leaves you with huge peaks and troughs. What if you thought about a proper budget with all the bills accounted for and say £50 each spendypennies or whatever and £50 towards c/card or whatever. I don't know if those figures are viable but you know what I mean I hope. You would have structure in paying off the debts and hopefully wouldn't be adding to them as you would be breaking the 'splurge then purge' cycle. You say you're enjoying not having to worry so much about money but money doesn't have to be always be a worry and if you kept cash back until you had what you wanted it might break the card cycle. Maybe this is what you are thinking with the tatoo paying for cash, I don't know.

Please minions, don't pelt me. I'm not having a go, just suggesting a look from a different angle. Sxx

I have posted up my SOA before. Usually when there's been a big change. I'll look to doing a new one and posting it up so you can see where we're at if you like.

immoral_angeluk

Oh and to me being MSE/DFW isn't a race. It's about changing your lifestyle to sort out problem debt and regain control of your finances... from where I'm sitting that's what we've slogged hard at for the past 2 years and I'm not going to be made to feel guilty for wanting to take a break for scrimping and saving every penny to the point of obsession.

earwig

ia

you dont need to ask anyone thoughts on weather you have the tatoo or not it what you want to do what counts but if you feel guilty about spending more money then sell your bass to pay for the tatoo it depends on what you want the most you do seem to have this pattern of spending then scrimping to pay it back and i think thats what people are trying to say about the just one more thing thing

rember when there was all that fuss about mse folk chipping in to buy you that cake you wanted for your anniversary and how that made you feel that certain people was having a moan about it you dont want to go back to that
REMBER YOU DONT NEED ANYONES PERMISSION TO SPEND YOUR MONEY BUT YOUR OWN so do what you want to do any dont worry about what poeple think by the way well done on your time i done my race three weeks ago in 52 minutes didnt run once though just walked it it was the one condition of me doing the race no running at any point:rotfl:

immoral_angeluk

I know earwig.... and yes sometimes I do get a bit defensive. I think if anything I've dug myself a whole of everyone looking upon and judging every action I make I do also sometimes feel like I'm not 'allowed to be normal' in a way... people have ups and downs during their MSE life but from what I've seen I'm always the one who ends up being criticised for every down time. Like I'm expected to be this massive role model of MSE perfection all the time and I just can't do it
I'm not perfect. We've had so much going on recently (and still do) that the holiday wa like a breath of fresh air. A chance to be able to not obsess about every single penny and let our hair down. Yes, that's probably carried on and the bass was an extravagant treat. But what's done is done. The tattoo means more to me than 'just a tattoo' or 'just another splurge'. I worked my a*s off to achieve the target, training for months. I didn't expect to do it at all. It sounds daft but this tattoo is for mum more than anything. Orchids I'll always associate with her, as on very special occasions she used to buy me a gorgeous white one. Yes I'm spending money, and I'm sorry for that. But this is one of those things that I'm just going to do.
Remembering my mum in a way that'll last forever and always be with me is more important to me than MSE. For that I'm sorry.

dancingfairy

Hi IA :hello: . I think the 'problem' is your honesty. Your honesty and truthfulness have won you many fans and lurkers but by being so open you are leaving yourself open to the opinions of the world and his wife.

You have done so well debt busting and become somewhat of an icon so maybe people are holding you up as a great inspiration which you are, but obviously there are people who perhaps feel you are slipping from some impossible image of perfection. You will get those that want the best for you and those that are sort of living vicariously through you and all sorts.
There have been several posts on the pro and cons of getting the tatoo done. By all means get opinions but for every lurker/avid subscriber there will be all manner of opinions. All you can do is stay true to yourself, that's all that matters.

dancingfairy

P.S the above was not a critiscism of you -just that what is a strength (ie your honesty) in most situations can also become a weakness and vice versa depending on the situation.

sam89

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

we have gone a bit mad with the credit cards recently so would I be better off just putting it towards the debt?
I really want the tattoo, and I've earned it.... but I can't get rid of the ''You should pay it off the debt'' feeling...
What do you guys think?

Oh Sarah, have a dodgy hug :grouphug: and remember not to ask questions you don't really want an answer to .

For what my opinion is worth (very little) I've said before that you're one of the people on here I find admirable, I wish I had my head screwed on as well as you do at 23. Only you can decide whether or not getting a tattoo is important enough for you to spend your hard earned money on.

We all have different priorities and while we are getting our debts under control we also have to remember to enjoy our lives. We only get one shot at life, and no-one knows how long it lasts, but I'm sure no-one ever dies wishing that their credit card bill was lower but plenty of people reach the end of their lives wishing they had lived a little bit more adventurously. One of the difficulties with getting out of debt is that it can become an obsession with the balance of life being totally focussed on clearing debt. You've gone through this bit and perhaps your balance has gone too far in the other direction to compensate for your sacrifices :rolleyes: .

I have no doubt though that you will find the middle ground that all of us are striving for.

Good luck for reaching a debt free life but remember to enjoy the journey to it.

Sam,
x.

earwig

For that I'm sorry.[/quote]

THATS THE POINT YOU DONT HAVE TO BE SORRY FOR NOTHING just do what feels right for you and your famley NOT what you think you should do to please people on here