OH admitted he has a drink problem

BallandChain

I'm glad I was of some help GG. There is nothing better than having a good spring clean! You have come a long way and even though you have been let down by the men in your life, there is the realisation that you have standards and needs of your own. It isn't selfish that you want a partner to spend time with you. I dare say that there might come a time that you meet the right man who fulfills all your expectations (or most of them!)

I'm wondering if you were still quite vulnerable when you met this partner so please don't feel you are at fault. You have talked and talked until you are blue in the face but he's unlikely to change. He has said he doesn't want to change and has given you no signs of wanting to.

If you carry on as you are you will make yourself ill and to put yourself first is NOT selfish. Wanting a partner who wants to be with you (and not clock watching for when the pub beckons) and who spends quality time with you is NOT selfish.

A relationship break up is never easy but you know you have the strength to stand your ground. You have more control than you realise and remember that feeling of freedom you experienced when you moved into your own place after the first relationship break down. I can only imagine it was like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders! You can have that feeling back again, it might take time but you will look back and think what a lucky escape you had.

gorgeous_gwen

Well I've lined up my sister and friends for later, have warned them they may be receiving some teary texts and phone calls so not to be alarmed! DS will still be with my parents so can get out of the house if I need to after it's all done...

Also one of my good friends who I've spoken to has invited me up North for the weekend, which is a relief as DS is with his dad all weekend and I was apprehensive at what I'd do with myself as me and (ex) usually spend most of the weekend together. So one less thing to worry about there.

Now just got to find out when he's coming round... I hate waiting for stuff like this. It's horrible.

glossgal

Have checked back in on the thread and just wanted to wish you luck, it's obviously a big decision and I think it says a lot about your character that you were prepared to 'stand by your man' and not just walk away. Just a pity he doesn't realise how lucky he is!

These things are hard when the person isn't a monster but just think, as another poster said, when times get hard, as they will if you set up home together and he's expected to behave responsibly, his problem is only likely to get worse.

All the best