We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Ok to leave daughters overnight?
Comments
-
I can't believe anybody would leave their children, complete neglect. I hope you get reported. Sorry for sounding harsh but i would never, ever leave mine. Not for a second. and they are 10, 12 and 16.
What happened to the mccans, maddy went missing.
You don't leave your 16yo in the house alone ever?
I won't leave either of my children on their own of a night, no way.
On a Wed and Thurs afternoon during school holidays, I leave my son alone, he will be 12 in 4 weeks. It's probably for around 4 hours at a time.
Before anyone jumps on me, the childminder (who has my daughter), lives next door but 3, but as son is getting older now, it's not fair on him to sit with a group of girls and get bored stiff.
After school on a Wed and Thurs, again, he will come home from school and be on his own for about 3 hours until I get home from work.
He's old for his age (if that makes sense?!), is 5'6, built like a brick outhouse, has already gone through puberty and is basically a good, sensible, level headed young man.
I trust him and he has never let me down. He knows if there should happen to be a problem, to go to the childminders, or ring her or me (I work about an 8 minute walk away).
If you think I'm a bad Mother for doing that, then so be it. I did exactly the same at his age, only I travelled 3 miles home from school alone where he doesn't as school is at the bottom of our road.
OP, I don't think you would have a problem in the daytime, but in the night time, I wouldn't leave them alone ~ that is only my opinion thoughTank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...0 -
Sorry I was so incensed by the person going out running I forgot to address the OP, I think your 16 year old is probably more than capable of looking after her sister overnight especially with the reassurance that there are people, who could come quickly if needed, nearby.
It's only one night a week so if the elder daughter feels able to cope I would say go for it after all she is old enough to be living alone with a new born of her own, a much more scary prospect for a teenager in my opinion.0 -
You know your children best and as you say your oldest child is very sensible and has back up if she needs it.
I think I would let her have a trial (as long as she is happy doing it) and see how things go, if she finds it too much pressure then you can always review the situation.
Good luck. x
As for leaving a 7yr old and 3 yr old...What are you thinking?0 -
fannyadams wrote: »FWIW
I used to regularly baby-sit for two boys - 6 and 8 - at least once a week from when i was 14 until i went to college when i was 18.
now, i *sometimes* leave my two (7 1/2 & 3 1/2) for half an hour (long after their bedtime) whilst i go for a run.
I dare say i'll get lampooned for this!:eek:
Apart from an accident or something happening in the house while you aren't there, have you ever thought about if your youngest woke in the night, went looking for Mummy, couldn't find her, so opened the front door and traipsed outside to go to look for her?
Not only that, but if it is long after their bedtime when you go out, aren't you worried about something happening to you, out running late at night ~ say something did happen to you, what would happen to the kids then?Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...0 -
I understand your dilemma, but I have to say that it isn't really fair to let a 16yr have to deal with any emergencies serious or otherwise. Imagine your younger daughter was ill could your older daughter strip the bed, wash her down, cuddle her all night while she threw up in a bowl. these are the sorts of things us parents do all the time but a 16yr who has school the next day? I doubt it.
However having said that, young girls have babies of their own all the time.....0 -
If your 16 year old is responsible, then i would say go for it. She can get married with your permission, and have babies of her own. I lived independently at 16.
However, she is 15, and i think if something were to go wrong social services would hang you, so i must say i think it's a bad idea.
As for leaving a 3 and 7 year old unsupervised home alone, in Portugal it may not be neglect but it is here, and if i knew you i would report you."On behalf of teachers, I'd like to dedicate this award to Michael Gove and I mean dedicate in the Anglo Saxon sense which means insert roughly into the anus of." My hero, Mr Steer.0 -
Its different being 16 and looking after your own child but she hasn't got parental responsibility so if anything happened the mother would still be charged , they don't recommend that children under 16 be left overnight, but leaving your 6 year old with a 16 year old am not sure.
I wouldn't trust my 16 year old on her own there would probably be a party advertised on youtube and i would come back to a trashed house. This happened to my auntie who's very respectable she left two 17 year olds and come back to half a house. 12 year old is sensible but gets scared and ten year old has a mental age of 6 so couldn't leave her anywhere.0 -
I understand your dilemma, but I have to say that it isn't really fair to let a 16yr have to deal with any emergencies serious or otherwise. Imagine your younger daughter was ill could your older daughter strip the bed, wash her down, cuddle her all night while she threw up in a bowl. these are the sorts of things us parents do all the time but a 16yr who has school the next day? I doubt it.
However having said that, young girls have babies of their own all the time.....
If DD were ill before we left, one of us would stay home. Also, if she were ill during the night, one of us would leave work and stay up with her.
We would do it on the understanding that dd rings us in situations like that and dh would be home in a shot.
I would need to arrange for someone to come in but could be home within about half an hour, as my mum works at the same place as me, and lives just around the corner from work. Dh would probably then go back to work.
There is no way we could go to, or stay, at work knowing either of them were ill.0 -
If your 16 year old is responsible, then i would say go for it. She can get married with your permission, and have babies of her own. I lived independently at 16.
However, she is 15, and i think if something were to go wrong social services would hang you, so i must say i think it's a bad idea.
As for leaving a 3 and 7 year old unsupervised home alone, in Portugal it may not be neglect but it is here, and if i knew you i would report you.
I left home at 16 too.
She is 16 in May and tbh it will probably take that long to get it all sorted anyway. So she will likely be 16, but only just obviously.0 -
Its different being 16 and looking after your own child but she hasn't got parental responsibility so if anything happened the mother would still be charged , they don't recommend that children under 16 be left overnight, but leaving your 6 year old with a 16 year old am not sure.
I wouldn't trust my 16 year old on her own there would probably be a party advertised on youtube and i would come back to a trashed house. This happened to my auntie who's very respectable she left two 17 year olds and come back to half a house. 12 year old is sensible but gets scared and ten year old has a mental age of 6 so couldn't leave her anywhere.
I have absolute trust in my daughter - she just wouldn't do that! She is very responsible and has a very good sense of right and wrong. That really is the very least of my worries! Well, it isn't a worry I have at all.
DD would be 16 by the time it happened. I would not dream of leaving my 6 year old alone.
It's a grey area, I agree, but not illegal in the circumstances.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

Categories
- All Categories
- 352K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.2K Spending & Discounts
- 245K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.6K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.4K Life & Family
- 258.8K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards