Ok to leave daughters overnight?

barbie_babe

If your mum lives local would both DDs be able to stay over at her house one night a week and then drop them at school next day.
Maybe you could offer to do some jobs for her as payment, such as her ironing or gardening.

bestpud

rovers wrote: »

For me it would be the risk of something going wrong. Be that a fire, an intruder, a medical emergency etc. When I had children I took on that responsibility, that I would be best placed to deal with any situation that crops up, i couldn't give that over to a 15 yr old. It doesn't matter that she wouldn't mind, I just think it's too much for a 15 yr old.
I used to babysit every week for baby twins when I was only 13, I thought it was crazy at the time and looking back their parents put them at risk....
Also if something bad was to happen and your daughter made the wrong choice she'd have to live with the consequences.
Just doesn't seem worth the risk to me.
And as for going for a run and leaving little kids home alone - that is unbelievably selfish..... poor kids.

Thanks for explaining. It is the thought of a crisis situation which worries me most too.

We do have working, mains wired and regularly maintained smoke detectors so I have faith in them working.

I worry more about intruders though, if I'm honest! That was my initial reason for rejecting it rather than fire or anything like that.

I would worry more about a medical emergency during waking hours.

I've been looking at the after school club option, and besides DD not being able to do the school clubs, the cost would be very difficult for us anyway. But we'd be one wage down on top of that. I'd have to leave my job, as DH wouldn't be able to take DD to school on the morning I work.

We're going to have to talk some more!

bonnie_2

I can't believe anybody would leave their children, complete neglect. I hope you get reported. Sorry for sounding harsh but i would never, ever leave mine. Not for a second. and they are 10, 12 and 16.
What happened to the mccans, maddy went missing.

bandraoi

At 16, you're old enough to be legally responsible for the care of childern.

I babysat my sister from when she was a new born and all of us were sensible. At 16 I was regularly cooking the dinners for the family and did all my own washing. We were raised to be independent and look after ourselves. It really wasn't a big deal.

My parents believe in trust and taking responsibility. Always have and always will, if we have a problem they're there for us, but they expect us to stand on our own two feet and if we have a problem to come up with our own solution. Maybe that's why they were happy to go away. They knew I'd deal with whatever came up.

I don't think social services would have batted an eyelid. My mother is a public health doctor, she knew what she was doing.

bestpud

barbie_babe wrote: »

If your mum lives local would both DDs be able to stay over at her house one night a week and then drop them at school next day.
Maybe you could offer to do some jobs for her as payment, such as her ironing or gardening.

Unfortunately, my mum and dad work nights too.

My mum possibly could have them as she doesn't do every night (she does a four week rota), but they live in a one bedroom flat and the grandchildren sleep on sofa beds in the front room when they stay over.

Basically it's a lot of extra work for them iyswim and I'd rather not go down that road anyway if I'm honest. My dad finishes at 4am so he would be trying to sleep while they'd be getting up too.

My eldest leaves school in May so she could probably help tidy up etc but tbh I think it would be too much for them.

CarolynH

I'd be happy leaving DD16 'babysitting' her sister of an evening, but not with the overnight bit. Just my personal opinion.
Would one of your nearby family members be able to come over very last thing and literally just sleep at your house? It might be better for your peace of mind.

janthemum

I have a 16 year old and 14 year old (boy/girl) No I wouldnt leave them over night on even one occasion.
And as for leaving two under eights ALONE to go running I cant quite believe I read that. It has left me so mad.I realy think it should be reported;absolute neglect.

bestpud

bonnie wrote: »

I can't believe anybody would leave their children, complete neglect. I hope you get reported. Sorry for sounding harsh but i would never, ever leave mine. Not for a second. and they are 10, 12 and 16.
What happened to the mccans, maddy went missing.

I have to disagree with you. I would have no qualms about leaving children of 12 or 16. Maybe not overnight, but I don't think you need to be that protective at their age.

Tbh, I don't think I would get into trouble if I were reported, as there is no set age as such, and dd is very responsible.

I was after opinions, but not because I feel there is anything illegal, or even reportable about it.

Just my opinion of course and thank you for giving yours.

nearlyrich

fannyadams wrote: »

now, i *sometimes* leave my two (7 1/2 & 3 1/2) for half an hour (long after their bedtime) whilst i go for a run.
I dare say i'll get lampooned for this!:eek:

That is outrageous, what if you had an accident whilst out running or if they got up and did something dangerous whilst you were out? :mad:

The use of the word lampooned implies it's funny I think it's neglect and you should be ashamed of yourself.

bestpud

I'm giving some thought to asking someone to sleep over. Not sure of it's a possibility but will look into it.