Would You Go To a Family Wedding If You Thought It Would Cost A Fortune?

Alikay

Oh, poor lass...some of my family ( inc mum) are JW too, so I do understand the disfellowshipping and shunning thing. If you can't afford it, well don't feel too bad. Send your good wishes with a card and present - it'll probably be more than she'll get from her brothers!

*Louise*

If it's a distant relative, then I wouldn't worry about not going. Or, get the kids babysat and you and your husband go together, that at least saves a bit on accomodation and buying the kids outfits.

I'm glad we rarely have weddings to go to - it can cost hundreds to celebrate someone else's day.

My mum dragged my dad to one last year, it cost them over £400 for travel, new clothes, gift and drinks at the evening do (and that was only an hour away). My dad resented it cos he doesn't even like the guy who was getting married.:D

shellsuit

Alikay wrote: »

Oh, poor lass...some of my family ( inc mum) are JW too, so I do understand the disfellowshipping and shunning thing. If you can't afford it, well don't feel too bad. Send your good wishes with a card and present - it'll probably be more than she'll get from her brothers!

I will send her a nice gift or cash, she is a lovely girl though, I'm so happy for her

Spendless

awww shellsuit.((()))) I suppose the difference is you would like to go but can't afford it, whereas I will resent it costing me a lot of money for something I'm not bothered if I go to or not.

We initially did consider a travel-lodge but having been caught with the £50 round taxi trip to leave car & pick it back up last time, I'm wary, and I am as keen on night driving in unfamiliar places as dh is on going to wedding receptions and not having a drink.:rolleyes:

Spendless

We have no one to leave the kids with overnight and after an incident last year that I'm reluctant to go into on here I am loathe to leave them.

pinkshoes

One of my close friends is getting married at the end of July, and her wedding is on a Thursday!

It's not the cost that bothers me, it's the fact that I'm starting a new job soon, so won't have much holiday entitlement, and thus am having to sacrifice my summer holiday for her wedding, as I'll need to take at least 2 days off work (arriving very late on the wednesday night!).

But she's a really good friend, so I guess I can sacrifice a holiday for her!

But for a distant relative... nah! I would just send apologies saying you can't make it!

gazzak_2

duchy wrote: »

I find it's all in the planning.
Booking as far ahead as possible for a hotel, arranging lifts if need be locally in advance-it's a family wedding -it's not like you don't know anyone, packing food. However if you are going to go with a feeling of resentment -then best to stay home-the whole point of a wedding is a celebration and if it makes you feel bad it's pointless and a waste of the bride and groom's money too as your place that THEY are paying for could be taken by someone who DOES want to be with them to share their special day.
If your OH chooses to go solo then maybe a coach or train might be more economical and get a helpful family member to pick up if needed.
Another good source of cheap single night accomadation can be youth hostals -they often have family rooms and are excellent value.
Nothing worse than spending money you can't afford on doing something you don't really want to do but maybe you can find a way to make it affordable-and maybe even tack on an extra night and make it your weekend away you're hoping for killing two birds with one stone.

My words exactly. Plan plan and plan. Leave a bit earlier this time too

polgara

If you do decide to go then take the advice and take picnic along with you - healthlier and cheaper, drive to and from the wedding/reception (why waste £50 when one of you can be a designated driver!)

belfastgirl23

I don't think the question is at all about the wedding in one way, it's whether it's worthwhile doing this to catch up with extended family. I suppose I'd ask you whether if it was your side of the family it might feel worthwhile to you? And it would be good for the kids too to discover all these relatives they (potentially) don't really know. Having missed out on a lot of big family events as a child I'd say these things are quite important in helping to build family relations. You don't know if down the line your kids might strike up a friendship with some cousins or something.

I agree with the others, why not combine this with a short family break. That way you avoid the premium of paying for one night's accommodation and time it so that you aren't doing the bank holiday getaway hell. Your travel costs will be fixed in any case. I'd also say it's worth exploring holiday apartments/caravans etc since you can self-cater and it's all a lot cheaper (often costs the same for an apartment to sleep five as it does for one hotel room). And as for the taxi thing, alas it is possible to save that cost by one of you not drinking altho sometimes it's worth paying the extra

Let us know what you decide...

fay144

Considering that it's your husbands family, can you not discuss with his folks/brothers/sisters/etc, and club together to save on taxi costs to a travelodge?

I got married recently, and due to the fact that we are from seperate sides of the country, both moved away to uni, and then away again after graduating, 75% of our guests would have had to travel to the wedding no matter where we chose to have it.

I found out that my aunt had been worrying about how she was going to get there and felt awful. We had been planning to put on a minibus for everyone that we weren't providing accomodation for, but were waiting until it was finalised before giving people the details.

Maybe if you speak to others who will be there they will be able to see a way round your concerns?