Would You Go To a Family Wedding If You Thought It Would Cost A Fortune?

danielle24

celyn90 wrote: »

I must admit if your DH is seeing it as a chance to see his extended family then I would perhaps suggest that he goes on his own. I would also suggest that just flying in for the day then flying back the same night or very early the following morning so you don't have to foot accomodation costs (depending on location, but I've done the out- visit-home in a day thing in Europe a couple of times and two red-eye flights are not pleasent but do-able - you can sleep on the flight or the bus) might be an option (not good for kids, but fine it it's just an adult travelling).

This is what I was about to suggest - he can take photos of your kids to show them!

At least you didn't have to find the money to fly to the other side of the world for the wedding - I was so close to being debt free last year!

bandraoi

If you were considering going away for a few days, and this wedding is in a touristy area, why not combine the two?

For a small amount of extra cost you could have both a holiday and go to the wedding. If you go down a night or two early, you will probably also miss the traffic, and for a longer booking, it might be worth looking at holiday cottages.

Welshlassie

I'd say no. If it was someone close then I'd make the effort, but a distant counsin no way.

duchy

I find it's all in the planning.
Booking as far ahead as possible for a hotel, arranging lifts if need be locally in advance-it's a family wedding -it's not like you don't know anyone, packing food. However if you are going to go with a feeling of resentment -then best to stay home-the whole point of a wedding is a celebration and if it makes you feel bad it's pointless and a waste of the bride and groom's money too as your place that THEY are paying for could be taken by someone who DOES want to be with them to share their special day.
If your OH chooses to go solo then maybe a coach or train might be more economical and get a helpful family member to pick up if needed.
Another good source of cheap single night accomadation can be youth hostals -they often have family rooms and are excellent value.
Nothing worse than spending money you can't afford on doing something you don't really want to do but maybe you can find a way to make it affordable-and maybe even tack on an extra night and make it your weekend away you're hoping for killing two birds with one stone.

Spendless

I'd rather not go than go with bad grace. I'm aware that are places will be costing the wedding couple. I don't feel totally comfortable if we do go with telling them that they have missed our youngest off the invite. She's 5.

I toyed with the idea of letting hubby go alone. Not convinced letting dh in charge of his own wallet will save me much though

It's in a different county not country so flying not an option.

DH's point cos it is in a touristy area is to make it into the break we might do, I'm just worried that we'll do that and it'll throw it down.:rolleyes:

celyn90

Spendless wrote: »

It's in a different county not country so flying not an option.

:rolleyes:

Doh! sorry - was reading too fast!

hev_2

I'd send a very nice card and a nice cheque with DH and enjoy the peace & quiet while he was away

Just to say, don't take this wrong, but if you are travelling eg between Leeds and Bristol it could be time/money efficient to fly. Not much help if you have huge hire car/taxi bills at either end but if airports are near it is surprising how well it can work (though it isn't green )

Alleycat

I like the long weekend/holiday idea. You would get to see family, have a bit of a knees up (fed as well!) and get to enjoy some time away. Also the youth hostel would be worth looking into.

Alternatively you could maybe stay an hour or so's drive away if that would be cheaper and just leave the wedding a little earlier than you would have done.

Always difficult I know! When it is btw?

Alikay

We've been in the same situation - 3 kids and a cousin's wedding 200 miles away in peak season. We got round it by asking the cousin if we could just come for the ceremony and evening party. Then we stayed at a campsite (yes, campsite:eek:) a few miles away, and combined the wedding with a cheap weekend away. Cousin was happy coz we went to his wedding. We were happy as we got to see the family again, and didn't need to spend too much. As we were only at the church and evening disco we didn't get too dressed up - just our normal "going out" stuff, and the present we gave was modest as we didn't feel the need to go mad since they'd not had to include us in the £50+ per head reception. You could do this with a travelodge and take a picnic maybe? It would be a shame to miss it entirely if you can have a chat with them and sort something out. My cousin put up a token protest at our wish to skip the "posh reception", saying it was OK, they'd budgeted for it, but seemed relieved and happy with the compromise we suggested.

shellsuit

My cousin is getting married in November, on a Sunday!

Wedding is in Kent, we are on Merseyside, so it's a hell of a way to travel.

Also, with it being on a Sunday, it means taking time off work on the Monday and losing money, plus the kids having to take a day off school.

Petrol, clothing, hotel for the night, present, wage loss ~ it all adds up.

There's no way we would be able to afford it, but I haven't told her yet, guess I'm biding my time incase we happen to magically come into a little bit of cash.

I feel so awful because she will have no family there at all, her brothers have fallen out with her because she is no longer a J.Witness, she doesn't speak to her Dad because he remarried and didn't even tell her and her Mum sadly died a good few years ago