Depression Support Thread

geminilady

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Well, I managed to go out. I had an anxiety attack though and now I feel really faint, which I'm sure is a result of the anxiety attack so now I'm sitting with a cuppa and watching TV.

I hate being like this.
And now I feel really on edge and paranoid and just eurgh.
Does anyone have any spare virtual hugs for me? It's times like these I'd like a real one but alas I have no one to give me one.
I sound like such a pathetic loser.

((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))) Lady M You don't sound like a looser at all,you did manage to go out so well done:T you have no control over the anxiety attacks but you are trying.Hope you feel better after your cuppa.By the way would love to read your poem have written a few myself it can be a good way to express yourself and funny enough most of mine are sad ones lol.

LadyMorticia

La Poem.

What Mental Health Feels Like
It feels like you're a prisoner
In your own mind
Holding you hands up to your
Looking glass eyes
But not able to escape

It feels like being close to yourself
All the time
But not knowing who you are
Wanting to get close to others
But terrified of letting them in

It feels like wanting to kill all your emotions
So you don't hurt anymore
It feels like the physical pain you cause yourself
Just to kill all the pain
You hold buried inside

It feels like starving your body
Because you feel like a bad person
And like you need to be punished
For all the things you've done - past and present
That those around you say weren't your fault anyway

It feels like memories
Haunting and teasing you
Always there, and never going away
All the things they did to you
And the way they made you feel

It feels like fear
Fear that this is all you'll ever know
That all hope is lost for you
And people will give up
And label you something you're not

It feels like being free
Finally finding someone else
With Borderline Personality Disorder
You can understand you
And at last....
Your lips aren't silent anymore

xx

LadyMorticia

feelinggood wrote: »

You are both far too 'rocky' for me. I like a bit of Green Day, a small amount of Nickleback and lots of Meat Loaf! Other than that, its Country all the way I've seen Johnny Cash and Kris Kristofferson in concert, fantastic.

And Lego rocks. My Mum won't let me have my old stuff, she is holding on to it. Got several huge boxes of stuff! Although I only ever built little square red house. LM, have you ever played any of the Lego Creator PC Games? You can build with unlimited bricks! This is one of them, but I think they do others:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lego-Creator-Knights-Kingdom-PC/dp/B00187PJK0/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&s=videogames&qid=1212494501&sr=1-8

I love Johnny Cash.

I haven't seen any of the lego games before but that one looks awesome. *counts pennies*

feelinggood_2

Wow LM, thats great. That really, really sums up how I feel. I like the positive final verse, hopefully that'll happen for me too

LadyMorticia

geminilady wrote: »

((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))) Lady M You don't sound like a looser at all,you did manage to go out so well done:T you have no control over the anxiety attacks but you are trying.Hope you feel better after your cuppa.By the way would love to read your poem have written a few myself it can be a good way to express yourself and funny enough most of mine are sad ones lol.

[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]

Caffeine always makes me feel better.lol.

I have just posted my poem. As I said previously it's simplistic but I just want people to understand, or at least try to, what having a mental illness is like.

xx

LadyMorticia

feelinggood wrote: »

Wow LM, thats great. That really, really sums up how I feel. I like the positive final verse, hopefully that'll happen for me too

Thank you.

The positive final verse is about finding Nikki and all you lovely people here, who understand me and listen to me.

xx

geminilady

LadyMorticia wrote: »

La Poem.

What Mental Health Feels Like
It feels like you're a prisoner
In your own mind
Holding you hands up to your
Looking glass eyes
But not able to escape

It feels like being close to yourself
All the time
But not knowing who you are
Wanting to get close to others
But terrified of letting them in

It feels like wanting to kill all your emotions
So you don't hurt anymore
It feels like the physical pain you cause yourself
Just to kill all the pain
You hold buried inside

It feels like starving your body
Because you feel like a bad person
And like you need to be punished
For all the things you've done - past and present
That those around you say weren't your fault anyway

It feels like memories
Haunting and teasing you
Always there, and never going away
All the things they did to you
And the way they made you feel

It feels like fear
Fear that this is all you'll ever know
That all hope is lost for you
And people will give up
And label you something you're not

It feels like being free
Finally finding someone else
With Borderline Personality Disorder
You can understand you
And at last....
Your lips aren't silent anymore

xx

As i said poetry is a great way of expressing yourself and it ended on a positive note well done x

Horasio

Been to the dentist and feel peed off

I expected it to be physically traumatic but feel psychologically upset too. She was the sort that treats you like a child when you wince with pain and wants to keep getting you back to keep their money coming in. I felt she wasn't that competent even tho the end result looks good, she wanted to leave my filling jagged till next Thursday, my tongue will be cut to shreds!. I felt everything I said was put down. I am paying high prices too and expect to be treated better.

I thought the UK was better than this for service - I am getting so sick of rubbish service in the last week with the rude delivery man, the hotel reception staff and the dentist - I am sick of paying over the odds and having bad treatment - it sucks!!!:mad:

Tiff_2

Hi sazzy!:hello:
..........
..........
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I've got people trampling through me chronicles!!! _pale_
Hope you're having a good day sweetheart - don't work too hard!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

LadyMorticia

CCStar wrote: »

Been to the dentist and feel peed off

I expected it to be physically traumatic but feel psychologically upset too. She was the sort that treats you like a child when you wince with pain and wants to keep getting you back to keep their money coming in. I felt she wasn't that competent even tho the end result looks good, she wanted to leave my filling jagged till next Thursday, my tongue will be cut to shreds!. I felt everything I said was put down. I am paying high prices too and expect to be treated better.

I thought the UK was better than this for service - I am getting so sick of rubbish service in the last week with the rude delivery man, the hotel reception staff and the dentist - I am sick of paying over the odds and having bad treatment - it sucks!!!:mad:

Heya Ccstar hun [[[[[[hugs]]]]]]

I hate the patronising type of dentist. I've had a fair few run ins with them and at one point one refused to treat me as I was being "difficult". I think she just couldn't deal with the fact that I am a very nervous patient.lol.

They wanted to leave your filling jagged? :eek: That's absolutely terrible and I swear that's not good practice.

There are some good dentists out there but it's very hard to find one.