Depression Support Thread

geminilady

Right im off to bed now night everyone x

Diamond78

10past6 wrote: »

I’m new to this thread, but I’d like to give some reassurance and encouragement to those that feel life never changes.

As time goes by, I’ll post more personal details about my situation and history, bur for now I just want to say life does get better, there is ALWAYS a solution to every situation, it a question of finding it.

I’ve suffered from psychiatric / psychological issues for over 30 years, moved from Dr to Dr, psychiatrist to psychiatrist, taken all kinds of anti depressants, regardless of which professional I spoke to I always felt no one understood my problems or even cared.


I changed GP again, this was a regular occurrence for me, however, this particular GP did take an interest in me, over a period of time we built a really good Dr – patient relationship, it was agreed by my GP I should be referred for psychotherapy, I eventually was allocated a psychotherapist and we hit it off from the start.

My counselling lased 6 years, sometimes the sessions were very painful, however, I came through it, so much so, I have been discharged now for over 2 years, I’ve never enjoyed life so much as I do now, yes, I have my off days, but they are few and far between, I take regular anti depressants on a daily basis, my GP has informed me I’ll be on these for the rest of my life, just like a diabetic has to take insulin forever, or a heart patient having to take BP tablets for ever, I’s no different with anti depressant, I’m not bothered if I have to take medication forever, it keeps me on a level playing field.

Anti depressants are like any other medication, it can take years to find the “right” one, it took me over 25 years to find the right one, I’ve been on the same medication now for over 6 years, and I know this is the right one for me.

I trust I have given someone some hope to continue to believe life does change, I’m proof it does.

Its so nice to hear that your enjoying your life. It gives us some light and hope that maybe and hopefully oneday we will all have a life we can enjoy and be happy. It has taken you a long time but the main thing is you never gave up and you got there in the end.Well done.

Welcome to the group. I am off now, so please dont thin of me as being rude, just didnt want to not post.Take care and will chat soon again.All the best x

geminilady

10past6 wrote: »

Hi gem

It was the time when I joined the site :rotfl:

Ah i see,well welcome to the thread,feel free to post as much or little as you like everyone is welcome here.

10past6

geminilady wrote: »

Right im off to bed now night everyone x

Nighty night gem

LadyMorticia

Maverick33 wrote: »

Hi Anni (i'll go with that for now )..
I've found it's pointless to even try to go to bed most of time as i will just lie there for hours wide awake and end up getting back up a few hours later - my GP has given me some sleeping tablets which occasionally help me if i fall asleep stay asleep for a couple of hours.. So i guess i'll be around in the early hours most nights..

Sorry for the late reply. I carried away doing things sometimes.lol. Which sleeping pills are you on? I was on Zopiclone for a week or so a year ago but they didn't do anything for me and because of my history the doctor didn't want to give them to me for a longer amount of time.lol. It tends to take me a few hours to fall asleep, and then when I do I wake up soon after from nightmares etc. I'm like a zombie a lot of the time through lack of sleep.

I ended up going to the GP as i kinda knew something wasn't right, it was worse than just having a bad day or week so bit the bullet so to speak.. I had a pretty good relationship with him but never really went into all the details and it took him 6 months to refer me to CBT (which didn't really work) and around Xmas referred me to a Psychiatrist who i have seen 3 times since February.. I have just had to register with a new GP though as i've just moved house though i haven't seen them yet to discuss everything - have an appointment in a couple of weeks.

It's great that you went to get help. The first step is always the hardest, and sometimes it might feel like you are taking one step forward and two steps back but going to you GP was the first hurdle and you should be proud of yourself for asking for help.
I've had CBT twice and it didn't do anything for me either.Also had CAT which didn't really help me either. I think different things work for different people. I know some people who have found it helpful and some people who haven't. It depends really.
I hope the appointment with the new GP goes well, and that you build up a good relationship with them. A good relationship with a doctor can really make a difference. I have an ED and I saw a doctor about it as I didn't want to live like this anymore and they said to go back in 2 months. Well, I felt disheartened so I went back in 4 months and saw a different doctor, who told me my weight was very low and was very worrying. In her opinion if I hadn't been told to come back in a couple of months then I maybe could have been a bit better. The doctor I see now is lovely and I won't see any other doctor now as we have built up a good relationship.

I have tried 3 variations of anti-depressants, though none of them have had any affect & not taking anything at the moment.

Meds don't really do anything for me either. I've been on Prozac twice, Sertraline once, and Citalopram twice which I'm back on again. The only thing they make me feel is physically ill, but I keep taking them in the hope that maybe they will kick in one day. Which doseage did you have and how long did you take them for? I know that it can take up to 2 months to kick in sometimes. I'm on 50mg at the moment. =/

Yeah i've been telling myself that, but it's getting to the stage that i could lose my job unless something is arranged soon - i have another OH appointment in about 10 days which should get some answers.. Just before Xmas i was working towards getting back in March but i was given notice to leave my flat which worsened my condition as i could not afford to move whilst being off work - so i pretty much had 3 months or unneeded worry & stress, luckily as the notice expired (which would have meant being taken to court) i found a place and with the help of Shelter & a crisis loan from the DWP i was able to move.. That situation pretty much put me back to square one.. Add to that my financial worries (hence coming to this site in the first place) i'm having a bit of a nightmare.

It sounds like you had a lot going on, and things just kept getting added to it. I really do hope you start to feel better soon. Maybe going back to work may help your depression as sometimes having a bit of structure in our day can make a difference? But by the same token the stresses of work could make you feel worse. Take each day as it comes. Is your boss understanding?
Money is always a worry. Are there any grants you could apply for? Do you receive DLA? If not you could apply. I think you need to have had mobility/care needs for the last 3 months (or 6, not sure) and are expected to need them for at least another 3 months. The form just goes on whether you have care/mobility needs, and not whether anyone actually gives you them. The forms are stressful though so it really depends if you want to go down that route. It's non means tested so you can work and still be eligible for DLA as long as you have mobility/care needs.

Please don't apologise for the questions - as i said before i'll pretty much answer anything if it can help my situation.. as for the above, it's a mixture of both - i don't like being in social situations and always get anxious around other people.. how do you handle that ?? as i've tried putting myself in situations to try to ease it but without success.

I don't think I personally handle it. The anxiety attacks are horrendous, and people look at me like I'm a freak, which adds to the distress. I just have to get out of the place I'm in, which can be very difficult if it's in the centre of town or something. I tried to jump in and put myself in situations I'm scared of and it made it worse. A lot of the time I can't even go out of the door.

Again, no need to apologise - i don't have a MIND close by, i did speak to the closest but it's out of my area so i can't attend it.. I do have something similar called Network For Change who i have spoken to and have been accepted but have not yet taken the plunge to go and try it - any advice on that ??

I remember my first time going to the hunts.mind drop in. My CPN at the time came with me, which helped. but not as much as it could have as we didn't get on too well.lol. It was hard, very hard, but once I saw how friendly everyone I calmed down a bit. I met one lovely person, who is now one of my closest friends. Is there anyone who could go with you? Maybe a therapist or maybe your GP could refer you to a befriender to help you get out and about a bit more? It will be very hard at first, and you might think you don't have it in you, but I have every faith in you that you do.
If someone can go with you, I think that would really help, or maybe go to visit when there will be very few people there, as sometimes it can feel like all eyes are on you hen you walk into a room full of people. I know it does for me.

Most things i used to like doing which were listening to music, going to gigs, watching movies etc i find difficult now as i have no interest and a total lack of concentration - which makes watching films/tv difficult as after 20mins my mind is elsewhere - lol.. I do still try to go to gigs and hide at the back on my own.

I'm not sure how to advise about the concentration thing as I'm not sure what aids concentration.lol. What type of music do you like? I'm really into metal.

Thanks, that's good to know - if only i'd found something like this 6 months ago..

Apologies for the quote things, i couldn't figure out how to seperate your paragraphs with mine - so hopefully the message is understandable.. Edit that, i just figured it out

I found this thread about 2 months-ish ago I think, and it has really been a life saver - almost literally sometimes. Everyone here is so lovely and kind. They're all like angels.

Don't worry about the quotes. I was wondering for ages how to do it and then I asked someone because I couldn't figure it out.lol. Glad you figured it out - a lot quicker than me might I add.lol.

xx

weegie.geek

LadyMorticia wrote: »

How do I let a guy down gently?

I've known this guy online for like a week and a half, and he's all like "I really like you. I really want to get to know you better". He's a really sweet guy but A)It's going to take me a very long time, maybe even years, to let anyone get close to me again B)I'm still hurting from Blade. C)I don't like him in that way.

I really don't want to hurt his feelings.

xx

He sounds like exactly the type of person who'd take it badly, so I'm not sure you'll be able to not hurt his feelings. You're at least gonna try to let him down gently though, so however bad he does take it, it's both his problem and his fault. Please don't feel any guilt.

Some people don't like some people like that. The more rejections he gets, the more he'll come to realise that, and he'll try and suss out the situation before wading in and declaring his undying love.

He should really think about the position he's putting you in by saying this stuff when you've obviously not given him reason to think it's reciprocal.

You've got the perfect get-out though. Explain to him that you're SO not ready for anything like that, and you're not sure when you will be. It's not like you're going to have a boyfriend next week (unless those plumbers come back? What happened with that? hehe I've not been around much lately), so you won't be lying to him for the sake of saving his feelings, it'll be the truth.


But yeah, hi people! I've not been around much. A mixture of not feeling well, and toothache/dentist visit. I'm TERRIFIED of the dentist. They gave me SO many injections. Whatever they were doing - i had my eyes closed tight - hurt so i kept asking for more and more... On the way out I felt the need to apologise for being such a big girl's blouse about it.

She was lovely though, and eastern-european with the accent to go with it. Rawr.

I was feeling quite "meh" all day, but then I won some money from a bonus thing one of the bookies I use gave me, so that's always nice. I might splash out tomorrow. Buy a book or two. :rotfl:

LadyMorticia

geminilady wrote: »

Hi,i thought i was the only one online at this time,i don't have insomia just a night owl and terrible on a morning.If i were you i would be honest with the guy and tell him you are not ready for a relationship but would like to be friends.

He just asked me if I thought in the future he would be my boyfriend so I answered with "Ryan, I like you as a friend. You are a great guy but at the moment I'm not ready for a relationship. In the future maybe something will happen. Who knows? But let's just see how things go and just enjoy eachothers online company for now darling". Was that okay? I hope I didn't sound too harsh.

xx

LadyMorticia

Diamond78 wrote: »

It takes time for a heart to heal. I am a very loving and caring person but when it comes to relathionships the last year I have been like an ice maiden, my heart isnt made of a brick but I put that barrier up. I have given my heart to the worng guys in the past and all they have done is used me or taken advantage of me. I cant be like that as its not in me so id rather not even get chatting to any guys as I can or use to fall for a guy easily. I dont want this to happen again as I am vunrable still.I know not all men are users, abusers but I am very cautious. Sometimes being like this tho can be dangerous. I could come across a really nice guy but coz of the way I think and feel i could miss out on the chance as he could be the one.Im 30 now and not getting any younger but I am happy being on my own. I have my son to think of.

I'm the same. All the men in my life have hurt me one way or another. I have been used and abused many times and I'm so terrified of getting hurt again that I stop anyone from getting close to me to try and stop them from doing that.
I like being on my own too. I can come and go as I please and I only have to answer to myself. I don't have to rely on anyone else.

I also worry about my mental health. I find it hard opening up as it is, I also think it would be hard for a guy to cope with my depression.That is the only thing that puts me off even considering a relathionship. I cant hide my depression anymore, I use to hide it so well and no one even guessed for years and years then bang i came crashing down.

I opened up about my mental health to Blade, and then he used it against me. He knew that it would hurt me so he used it to hit me right in the heart where he knew it would hurt. I never really opened up to anyone before that about my mental health but I made an exception for him, and he used it to hurt me. I can open up to people here because you all understand and know what it's like. It's just other people usually don't even get to touch the surface.
I'm good at hiding how I feel. I've had to ever since I was a child, and some people don't even know who I am. My project worker the other day was surprised because as she put it "I was so surprised to get some emotion from you. That's my girlie". I'm so used to not letting people see how I feel that sometimes I push them away so they can't see it. How did people react when they found out about your depression?

My friends are here on this thread, like you the so called friends I had only wanted to know when they wanted something, when they needed a babysitter. I have never had a friend be there for me.

I've had a lot of friends who are users, and a lot of fairweather friends. I used to just take it because I thought it was me who had the problem but then I started realizing that if they can't accept you as you are - mental health problems and all - then it's their loss and their problem.

PS-my friend died from leuakimia(sp) when I was 16. She suffered so much pain.I have had so many deaths with friends and family but the worse one was my friend who commited suicide. That was and still is very traumatic for me,his family have got on with it now but I still havent got over it, never will.That was in 1999.I see those who i loved and died as my guarian angels and your friend is your guardian angel.

I'm so sorry to hear that. :(Any type of death is tragic but suicide is just....I can't even think of a word to describe how upsetting and traumatic it must be.One of my friends has attempted suicide several times but is still here thank goodness. She still suffers a lot but she hasn't been in a place like that for a long while. I don't think I could ever deal with the pain if I ever lost her.

LadyMorticia

Ive just seen cheryl cole from girls aloud singing a song with a guy, she is so pretty. I wish I was pretty, i wish i had nice clothes and a nice home. I know thats not everything in life but I feel like such a minger,so ugly and spotty.

Hun, I don't think a lot of people are completely happy with the way they look, and whilst I have never seen what you look like, I am sure you are as beautiful on the outside, as you are on the inside. A lot of my friends feel ugly, but to me they are so beautiful - personality wise and physically.

xx

LadyMorticia

10past6 wrote: »

Hello to those that are awake :hello:

Hello there.