Depression Support Thread

LadyMorticia

How do I let a guy down gently?

I've known this guy online for like a week and a half, and he's all like "I really like you. I really want to get to know you better". He's a really sweet guy but A)It's going to take me a very long time, maybe even years, to let anyone get close to me again B)I'm still hurting from Blade. C)I don't like him in that way.

I really don't want to hurt his feelings.

xx

Diamond78

Hiya,
Hope you have all had a goodish weekend.

Sorry to hear about the bad news feelingood.HUGS

SF-Good luck with your exams hun, will have fingers crossed for you.

Katie, sorry to hear you was down earlier.Hope you feel better now.HUGS

Drifter, Im sorry I didnt stay on, Icould no longer stay awake, my medication makes me drowsy and sleepy.Its not personal.HUGS

Anni, hope your ok.

Shaz,Tiff,rose,geminilady,saz,meyore and everyone else hope your all good, my memory is bad as you all know so its hard remembering all the names so everyone is better coz then i have covered everyone.

havent seen a few of you about, gillette,RBK,britney fan(forgot the name u use but britneys making a come back) and all you lovely ppl that havent posted a while-hope your all well-thinking of you all.

Welcome everyone that is new.

I have had a busy weekend.Went to my brothers yesterday, took ds up to the thames, and today or now yesterday we went legoland last minute. My son loved it but as it was last minute we got there at 1pm.im shocked as to how expensive it was but my sons happiness is priceless and worth all the money in the world.We never got round the whole park so we are going to go back and take my brother this time as he leaves soon.It took so long to get there, i hate public transport. I need to re start my driving lessons and stick to it this time but cannot find my paper licence to change to my new address. I have so much to do as i have not done anything.Have o go damm docs again for another repeat prescription, i am getting so peed off with having to go all the time but its got to be done as i need it.

I really should go bed soon but am wide awake.Sending everyone hugs xx

LadyMorticia

Diamond, I've been wondering where you were. I've been thinking about you. [[[[[[hugs]]]]]]

xx

Diamond78

LadyMorticia wrote: »

How do I let a guy down gently?

I've known this guy online for like a week and a half, and he's all like "I really like you. I really want to get to know you better". He's a really sweet guy but A)It's going to take me a very long time, maybe even years, to let anyone get close to me again B)I'm still hurting from Blade. C)I don't like him in that way.

I really don't want to hurt his feelings.

xx

Hey hun, just tell him you are not ready to meet anyone just yet.

You will get over blade , time is a great healer and the more you talk to guys the quicker you will get over him. I know you say you dont like this guy in that way but you never know, you might in time. I have met a few ppl online, I actually dated 2 which didnt last.1 lasted less than my period and the other well i didnt even know what he looked like properly.he was so nice tho, a few years younger than me and we lasted a month and a half. It gives you confidence.Im not saying you have to date them but its nice to have a chat with the opposite sex. I dont chat to any blokes and havent done so for soooo long.I was on dating sites a long time ago but am not ready for any of that just yet although im not ruling it out.

Diamond78

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Diamond, I've been wondering where you were. I've been thinking about you. [[[[[[hugs]]]]]]

xx

Believe it or not hun been thinking of you and everyone on here to, strange isnt it when im away or not online i miss u all, wondering how everyone is hoping everyone is ok and not having a bad day.

LadyMorticia

Diamond78 wrote: »

Hey hun, just tell him you are not ready to meet anyone just yet.

You will get over blade , time is a great healer and the more you talk to guys the quicker you will get over him. I know you say you dont like this guy in that way but you never know, you might in time. I have met a few ppl online, I actually dated 2 which didnt last.1 lasted less than my period and the other well i didnt even know what he looked like properly.he was so nice tho, a few years younger than me and we lasted a month and a half. It gives you confidence.Im not saying you have to date them but its nice to have a chat with the opposite sex. I dont chat to any blokes and havent done so for soooo long.I was on dating sites a long time ago but am not ready for any of that just yet although im not ruling it out.

I have a lot of relationship issues. Maybe I will like him in time but will he be able to accept me with my mental health problems? A lot of the people in my life are only around when I'm feeling okay. As soon as my head gets messed up they leave. I don't think I can take anymore of that in my life.

I have so many confused feelings in my head that I need to get out or talk to someone about but I can't, so I don't think that is helping. This guy is lovely. Maybe I'm just not ready at the moment.

xx

LadyMorticia

Diamond78 wrote: »

Believe it or not hun been thinking of you and everyone on here to, strange isnt it when im away or not online i miss u all, wondering how everyone is hoping everyone is ok and not having a bad day.

Yeah. I always think about everyone here. I consider you all friends. You are all more supportive than any of my friends who I know in person.

xx

Maverick33

Hi Anni (i'll go with that for now )..
I've found it's pointless to even try to go to bed most of time as i will just lie there for hours wide awake and end up getting back up a few hours later - my GP has given me some sleeping tablets which occasionally help me if i fall asleep stay asleep for a couple of hours.. So i guess i'll be around in the early hours most nights..

I ended up going to the GP as i kinda knew something wasn't right, it was worse than just having a bad day or week so bit the bullet so to speak.. I had a pretty good relationship with him but never really went into all the details and it took him 6 months to refer me to CBT (which didn't really work) and around Xmas referred me to a Psychiatrist who i have seen 3 times since February.. I have just had to register with a new GP though as i've just moved house though i haven't seen them yet to discuss everything - have an appointment in a couple of weeks..

I have tried 3 variations of anti-depressants, though none of them have had any affect & not taking anything at the moment..

wrote:

I'm sorry you were/are unable to attend work. Did you enjoy your job? Don't push yourself to go back in 3 months time if you are not ready. Your health comes first.

Yeah i've been telling myself that, but it's getting to the stage that i could lose my job unless something is arranged soon - i have another OH appointment in about 10 days which should get some answers.. Just before Xmas i was working towards getting back in March but i was given notice to leave my flat which worsened my condition as i could not afford to move whilst being off work - so i pretty much had 3 months or unneeded worry & stress, luckily as the notice expired (which would have meant being taken to court) i found a place and with the help of Shelter & a crisis loan from the DWP i was able to move.. That situation pretty much put me back to square one.. Add to that my financial worries (hence coming to this site in the first place) i'm having a bit of a nightmare..

wrote:

I have agoraphobia and anxiety so I only go out when I have to, and even then I get scared out of my wits, so I do somewhat understand. Do you ever get anxious when you are around other people? Is that why you like staying in, or do you just not like to be in social situations? I'm sorry for the questions. I'm an inqusitive person.

Please don't apologise for the questions - as i said before i'll pretty much answer anything if it can help my situation.. as for the above, it's a mixture of both - i don't like being in social situations and always get anxious around other people.. how do you handle that ?? as i've tried putting myself in situations to try to ease it but without success..

wrote:

I'm sorry to hear that you don't have any support from friends or family. Is there a local MIND branch near you? The one here holds drop ins for people with mental health problems to meet and socialise. I go usually twice a week under doctors orders and sometimes it helps and calms me down a bit. Of course, everyone is different though, and whether it would help really depends on why you like staying in as if you get panicky etc then maybe jumping in head first isn't a good idea.

Again, no need to apologise - i don't have a MIND close by, i did speak to the closest but it's out of my area so i can't attend it.. I do have something similar called Network For Change who i have spoken to and have been accepted but have not yet taken the plunge to go and try it - any advice on that ??

wrote:

Do you have any hobbies? Sometimes doing things we're interested in can take our minds off of things for a while, or leave us invigorated. I know that writing and photography does that sometimes for me.

Most things i used to like doing which were listening to music, going to gigs, watching movies etc i find difficult now as i have no interest and a total lack of concentration - which makes watching films/tv difficult as after 20mins my mind is elsewhere - lol.. I do still try to go to gigs and hide at the back on my own..

wrote:

I'm sure everyone else will give loads more advice and many more welcomes in the morning. And even if some people can't advise, we'll always support.

Thanks, that's good to know - if only i'd found something like this 6 months ago..

Apologies for the quote things, i couldn't figure out how to seperate your paragraphs with mine - so hopefully the message is understandable.. Edit that, i just figured it out

geminilady

LadyMorticia wrote: »

How do I let a guy down gently?

I've known this guy online for like a week and a half, and he's all like "I really like you. I really want to get to know you better". He's a really sweet guy but A)It's going to take me a very long time, maybe even years, to let anyone get close to me again B)I'm still hurting from Blade. C)I don't like him in that way.

I really don't want to hurt his feelings.

xx

Hi,i thought i was the only one online at this time,i don't have insomia just a night owl and terrible on a morning.If i were you i would be honest with the guy and tell him you are not ready for a relationship but would like to be friends.

Diamond78

LadyMorticia wrote: »

I have a lot of relationship issues. Maybe I will like him in time but will he be able to accept me with my mental health problems? A lot of the people in my life are only around when I'm feeling okay. As soon as my head gets messed up they leave. I don't think I can take anymore of that in my life.

I have so many confused feelings in my head that I need to get out or talk to someone about but I can't, so I don't think that is helping. This guy is lovely. Maybe I'm just not ready at the moment.

xx

It takes time for a heart to heal. I am a very loving and caring person but when it comes to relathionships the last year I have been like an ice maiden, my heart isnt made of a brick but I put that barrier up. I have given my heart to the worng guys in the past and all they have done is used me or taken advantage of me. I cant be like that as its not in me so id rather not even get chatting to any guys as I can or use to fall for a guy easily. I dont want this to happen again as I am vunrable still.I know not all men are users, abusers but I am very cautious. Sometimes being like this tho can be dangerous. I could come across a really nice guy but coz of the way I think and feel i could miss out on the chance as he could be the one.Im 30 now and not getting any younger but I am happy being on my own. I have my son to think of.

I also worry about my mental health. I find it hard opening up as it is, I also think it would be hard for a guy to cope with my depression.That is the only thing that puts me off even considering a relathionship. I cant hide my depression anymore, I use to hide it so well and no one even guessed for years and years then bang i came crashing down.

My friends are here on this thread, like you the so called friends I had only wanted to know when they wanted something, when they needed a babysitter. I have never had a friend be there for me.

PS-my friend died from leuakimia(sp) when I was 16. She suffered so much pain.I have had so many deaths with friends and family but the worse one was my friend who commited suicide. That was and still is very traumatic for me,his family have got on with it now but I still havent got over it, never will.That was in 1999.I see those who i loved and died as my guarian angels and your friend is your guardian angel.