Debt & Depression - can anyone help???

dalip

Hey sue
The grass is always greener. I have a partner but he was no real help at all, i did not have this site either and at times i was in end it all mode big time. I never told any of my family and when i spent the day before court trying to do my SOA i had my father crying down the phone that he was all alone and nobody cared about him, as my step mum of 18 years had died 10 mths before. There is lots more i could go into like my daughter of 26 having cancer last year to name one. So, although i am not saying your needs are less they are, but like dave, behind every poster there is more, so never feel you are alone. Some of us have more things to deal with other than debt but at the end of the day we are all on your side. Keep posting, a problem shared is (so they say)a problem halved.
Anyway whats the use of a partner? They take up all the room in the bed,they belch and fart, you have to cook for them(when all you want is a sandwich),you have to wash their smelly undies, give in to their "unreasonable demands" once a mth, they hog the remote control. Shall i go on???Dalip

tigerfeet2006

There is a depression Support Thread on the forum if anybody is interested.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=765463&highlight=depression+help+thread

dalip

Wow they think of everything on here. Good on you tiger.

cazjenki

There is a few of us on here who are single, me included, and I have 2 kids to look after also and I have got through this on my own and wished I had someone to go through it with me, most of my debt was from before I got divorced so look where that got me, I'm happier on my own now. The thing is though although I was on my own throughout this BR ordeal I actually wasn't because instead of having to discuss it with a partner I had all of these lovely people on this site, and better still, there was no argueing, blaming or anything (burping and farting included as Dalip said):rotfl: which I know if I had been discussing it with my ex there would have been. Also I feel much stronger knowing I have got through it all without a bloke, if I can do that I can do anything. I too was coming off the tablets thinking I was ok only to find myself deeper in depression, you make that appointment tomorrow.

Persolv0

suexxx wrote: »

Hi everyone
I just wanted to say it is a comfort to know other people are out there going through the same things.
I to suffer from deppression i have done on and oof for yrs,it runs in the family,but since ive had these debt problems(just sorting DMP with CCCs) ive never felt so low,i'm sat here and just cant stop crying,just don't feel like ive not got any fight left in me,feel so alone !
ive even started binge drinking,yesterday went to my local pub for a drink with my daughter,she had to go and meet a friend so i stayed there,this was 3.oclock,i was still there at closing time,i'd drank that much i could hardly walk,i just wanted to blot things out ! at the end of the night someone gave me a lift home,i did'nt know him from Adam,he did just drop me off but what if something else would of happend ?? this is'nt the 1st time ive done this at the time i just don't care !
woke up this morning still in my clothes i'd gone out in and now i feel 50 times worse than i did yesterday,i feel such a failure !
I always wake up with the best of intentions,gonna sort house out etc but its a mess,got tons of stuff to sell on ebay but just can't get the motivation to do it ! i think once this DMP is up and running i'll feel better(i hope so ) also my brother killed himself 6 weeks ago.he jumped off a block of flats,i'm still trying to come to terms with that,he was only 32 !
people say " Sue,yr young(39) attractive,got lovely kids etc etc what the hell you got to be depressed about ??
but people who have never had dark moments just don't understand !
I just want to get out of this dark hole !
Got no family around me,so coping on my own,i just hate life at the moment,ive got to get out of this mess !

Hello Sue
Firstly may I express my condolences to the loss of your Brother.

You've already taken a massive step in setting up your DMP and it goes a long way to getting yourself on the up again.
Like others say i do hope you go for a chat with your Doctor in how you feel.

Without meaning to sound melodramatic i really have come to see this forum as an entity...a group of people with a number of reasons for finding themselves in a financial hole supporting each other....but if theres one thing that remains a constant reminder here is that theres more to life than money(or lack of it)....the plain simple decency of 99.999% of people here is so refreshing and gives strenth to face things head on.

you wont relaise this but you ve given me a welcome kick to take the next steps in facing up to my financial horrors as i read what youve bravely faced up to and still got round to organising a DMP: and if i keep going like this i might even post mySOA :eek:(Im one of those stubborn proud males that does nt like to ask for help:rolleyes:

I know its tough just now but dont deny yourself the credit you deserve in the steps you ve already taken and even baby steps mean your still going forward and one day you ,i and a plethora of others will have put our early mistakes behind us and moved on to happier times.

best wishes and thankyou for posting

suexxx

I just wanted to say a BIG thankyou to everyone for your kind supportive words...and to Dalip for making me laugh and for reminding me of some of the reasons for why i wanted to be on my own in the 1st place lol !

I got through yesterday,cryed most of he morning and just sat numb for rest of the day but i did start thinking about how i had sort my life out,started already on debts hopefully they will except DMP and made appointment for doc's today...i do need some kind of therepy but waiting list is to long and got no money.....ive got to sort myself out,i never ever want to get as low as that again,i really thought i was cracking up or something,ive got responsibiltys got to do this for the kids,its not fair on them !
I know its going to be hard and i will have more bad days than good but i will just hav't to accecpt that,also gonna do a list of things to do each day,even if its just one or two things...hopefully this might help with the drinking,i don't drink alot but when i do i can't stop !
You have all made me realise that i'm not alone and theres people going through even more than me..
sorry i seem to have took over this thread ! but glad you lovely lovely people found me at one of my darkest moments !

Thankyou x x x x

Toon_Dave

Hi Sue,

Good morning, I am so glad you are feeling better today. As you may have read my story earlier on in this thread after Angel posted her comments i have never felt as low as i did a few weeks ago, but now with the support of people on this forum and this thread i feel more positive than i have months..

i too have had family illnesses etc which have played a part on me too but as everyone has said there is more to life than money and at times like this when money gets you down its fantastic to get suipport and know that others are going through the same things and that we all need to ask for help at some point in our lifes.

PERSOLV0 - i was one of those 'stubborn males' too..single just trying to get over split with EX and carrying on with life. This forum has helped me open up more than i have ever down before which has given me the 'light at the end of the tunnel' moment to go forward with everything and face up to my problems but health and financial. Please do post your SOA and you will get some excellent supportive advice from most - not all it has to be said but they are the minority - All people i hav spoke with have given me fantastic support and shown me that there is ways to go forward in life.

Good luck.

Dave.

dalip

Faith in human nature is restored when you read such helpful selfless posts on this forum. There are so many bad things happening in this world at the moment that i sometimes feel i can cry with the generosity and help that others are willing to give to total strangers here. This thread has been such a help to many. Hope we all continue to give support to those that need it.:T
Glad you are feeling more positive sue. Well done in getting past yesterday!

AmIdone4?

Absolutley tremendous, and I agree Dalip, I can feel the positive vibes flowing throughout this thread (I won't get too heavy, but I can...:))

I don't need to add to the excellent support for Suexxx, keep on postin gerl!:):):)

And I agree with toon-dave, persolv0, us blokes can understand where you're coming from, but post you're SOA when you can mate!!:)

Once again MSE is great!!:D