Debt & Depression - can anyone help???

tireesix

I am suicidal most days. As yet, no one can explain to me why and I have now been banned from using anti depressants because it makes the feelings worse......... While not on anti depressants, the feelings are more controllable, so I don't know, maybe I am not suicidal but suffer suicidal feelings on a very regular basis, some days I am amazed I have managed to make it through the day............ I was referred to psychiatry in January but as its the NHS, I still haven't heard anything...... have been suffering YEARS, have ODed many times. Anyway, I gave up after a while, I have learnt that I always make it through the feelings, I just have hang on in there, keep going. As long as I keep moving I am ok, besides, these days I have my children and DH to think about, I have to keep going for them......

Anyhoo, my emotional rollercoaster ride has nothing to do with my debts, although they don't help, so what I guess I am trying to say is......... You can ride it out, its not easy, sometimes it is the hardest thing in the world, especially when no one cant tell you why you feel like it, that may feel like it forever, but thats ok because you have to look at what you have now rather than what you haven't got........... My life is pretty crap at the moment lol.......... No money, no job, really poor housing and poor health BUT I have my children who keep telling me they love me and I have my DH who I know loves me and I still have a future.

Sometimes there seems to be so much darkness that it is difficult to find a light, let alone actually reach out for it.

Anyway, when it does seem like there is nothing left for you, just have a look around and you will find people reaching out for you........

Toon_Dave

Good post Tireesix..

It will help alot of people to come to terms with feelings getting other opinions from those who have attempted and pulled through...i had never felt as low as that in my life and hope never too again. As you say, have a look around and you will always find someone reaching out for you. Once i got out of hospital i looked myself in the mirror and didnt like what i saw...it never solved anything what i did...debts and stress will not go away unless i took action which i have coming on here.

I'm glad you have your family and kids to help...my family have been great during all of this.

Dave.

So_Sad_Angel

Hi everyone,

Back now after day clearing the `clutter` & been thinking alot about my post this morning & how those severe feelings can creep up from nowhere.

I was distraught & have never felt isolated like that before so thats to all of you who have posted here & given me support...you have helped more than you know!.. & Dave...so very brave of you to share & in many ways puts everything into perspective. I know your post will let others know that they are not alone...glad you`re still here!! (good lunch??)

I now have loads of stuff to ebay (out of garage) so I shall be doing that whilst reading this forum & have lit the wood burner (to save gas bill) & settled down with a glass of red (cheap bottle of course!!) & the laptop.

I have bills due at end month & this week I am to recontact CCCS & also speak to insolvency advisor who looks after OH`s BR case. I think that a decision re my future will help me to focus & I must accept that there will be days like today.

Cheers Angelxxxx

Toon_Dave

Good Evening Angel,

yep im still here....logging off at nine ish for a bit of CSI...

Lunch was great thanks...mum seems better today. Also it was free so total spent today = £0.00 True money saver now....only another few hundreds to save for rent etc...lol..

i'm glad that my post has helped and i've had nothing but support since posting so yes help is always out there and as i said to you earlier if you feel down and need to 'talk' about it...then therapist Dave is on hand.

Glad you have cleared Garage....i bet ebay wont know whats hit it tonight....
Anything exciting going for sale?

Dave.

So_Sad_Angel

Hi,

Garage only 1/2 done but can at least see back wall now!!! The refuse tip was closed due to Easter so have few trips to make tomorrow.

Many books to go on Ebay (I seem to do rather well with them ) & also sons old BMX...probably thinking - evil mother even selling off kids stuff!! but he had forgotten we still had it!!

I am determined not to worry tonight as really does`nt change things..the debts still there!! BR still looming!!

Something that has occurred today is that if I am not BR yet & OH is , then this may scupper our chances of getting a rental. Also if I sell my shares to pay for 6mths rent then how will OR see this if I then go BR?

I shall write these questions down as I forget through nerves when I am speaking to official people!! I`m hopeless!!

Enjoy CSI...Angelxx

Toon_Dave

Hi Angel (Aka EVIL mother!!)...lmao u know im only joking hun!!.

Selling stuff thats not needed or remembered is a must, just do it.

With regards to Shares....As long as you can tell the OR that the sale of them was for 6months rent then there isnt an issue, just dont go buying that trip to america or cruise round world otherwise they might say something!!!

I dont think OH BR should affect your checks for rental. As i know you do have to list all people living at property but as long as rent payer. i.e YOU has ok score and bank account details i would suspect this would be ok.

And yes....CSI is calling....LOL

Speak to you later. Dave.

dalip

Hi Angel
You "sound" so much better than you did this morning and i am so pleased you are being positive. If OH is going bc before you and you are worried about credit checks, make sure you are in no way financially(sp) linked.Joint savings account or bank account or debts.Dalip.
PS Enjoy your wine no matter how cheap!

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Dalip,

Thanks for that...I have already taken him off all accounts..except mtge & SL of course which I am covering at the moment.

He will lose job as well due to BR so want to get into rented b4 stop paying mtge & SL as I will then hand keys back. Obviously this will ruin my cr rating but I cannot see any other way out.

PS wine is looovely!!! really doing the trick!

Cheers Ange xx

Praxis99

Prior to making my decision to go BR last yr I went to a very dark place indeed, but still continued to function as 'normal' in my day to day business - "all the worlds a stage" and all that.

What I am going to say now might sound ridiculous to none pet owners on this board but as someone who lives alone it was only concern for the continual welfare of my cat - who sadly died aged 19 last Aug - that kept me together at all!

However once I had made the decision to go BR a lot of my personal craziness disappeared as I got on with the practicalities of filling out the forms (online), getting my financial details together and preparing for the day itself and then the OR interview thereafter. Indeed thinking back now I cannot get into the mindset I had this time last yr which is very much a good thing.

BR was something I did alone, I did not consult with friends or family and as far as I am aware no one in my 'circle' knows I have gone BR (and now early discharged after six months I hope it stays that way).

I know that you'll come thru' this So Sad Angel so long as now you have faced up to your problem you follow thru' with your plans to address it.

So_Sad_Angel

Hey Praxis99

Sorry to hear about your cat...I have 3 dogs & they are like my babies!! non pet owners will not get that..I know!! but I am often alone as OH works 300miles away & they give me `purpose`& `need me` if that makes sense?

Well done on being `BR Survivor` & thankyou for sharing. I hope that when I am throu this I will be strong enough to offer advice also.

On a further issue I think ,with economics as they are, that financial difficulties will effect more & more families going forward & I find this very concerning..I am likely to be BR due to my OH taking that route whch leaves my position untenable. Unfortunately for me & OH both our jobs will go...this is a conversation I need to have this week with CCCS & OH`s advisor.

Personally this is tough but hope I can secure the rental & then I will feel that I am moving forward..so many unanswered issues have lead to extreme uncertainty.

Keep sharing, its appreciated Love Angelxx