Confessions of a very tired old styler. Please join in.

gunsandbanjos

My house is generally not too bad, however i have spent the best part of today scraping masking tape from my bedroom window. I taped it up beautifully about 9 months ago then never got round to painting it:o Didnt realise it would be so hard to get off, and didnt really bother me til it went mouldy:rolleyes:
Managed to slice my thumb open with a razor blade while doing it, and in the absence of plasters it is wrapped in kitchen roll and electrical tape.

maxfactor_3

I havent got a fruit bowl,my daughter threw it across the room and smashed it.I havent shaved my legs in months !.
I,ve given up alcohol wheat dairy all in the past month.

I started champix anti smoking pills 7 days ago.
And I need to sort the house out it really is a tip.If you saw a picture of my bedroom you really would gasp.

sand-dancer_3

Hi all. Im really slipping now and may have to join another thread. Im tidied up, tea dishes all washed and Im about to iron the uniforms for tomorrow. BUT the worst thing that happened is... After going for a 6 mile country walk along Hadriens Wall yesterday (absolutly beautiful!!) we went for something to eat at a country pub.We duly wiped our feet before we went in, ordered our meals and drinks then I went to 'powder my nose'. I was about to leave the toilets when I noticed a lump of mud had come of my boot.What followed next was like something from 'Some mothers do 'ave them'. I pulled some toilet roll off, wet it under the tap and proceeded to scrub the floor, but the mud decided to spread as I wiped and I spent nearly 10 minutes washing the floor!!! My friend was getting very concerned and nearly choked on his meal when I told him Id been washing the floor - He knows thats not normal behaviour in myown house.
Friends -please help me return to my slovenly ways PLEASE!!! _pale_

ampersand

Bon, je suis rentr-!!.....(that's the only way I can make the acute show. Nope, still doesn't work.)

http://i222.photobucket.a.k.a.fruitbowl.jpg

Let the fruit bowl called Basket(-case?) speak - and please note, fruit DOES feature.

Captain Oates, have you completed the cargo manifest?
Cargo manifest completed, Ma'am!
Kindly dictate...........
Begging your pardon, Ma'am, Most Honorable, but we're due to WW at 7 bells Ma'am and the list, is RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAther long.
Then proceed man, proceed without further ado!
#Cashmere scarf, bottle green, lovingly hand-laundered, saved from destruction
#Pink single sheet, recently starring on a birthday workplace table.
#3m blue cotton fabric
#lovely antique brass tripod, extending legs
#new hammer, bag for same
#new bullnose pliers, bag for same
#new longnose pliers, bag for same
#Voluminous chiffon scarf, beaded, sequinned, embroidered, but not as leery as that sounds.
#Mr T Value tissues
#Pokemon(why?for non-Childe Harold, if you read elsewhere)
#bananas, 4, in bag
#bananas, 3, earlier models(hence colour amendment)re-discovered below:
#Maori carvings teatowel, ironed
#Value oranges, nets, 2 of.
#roll of sticky labels
#bag of magimix attachments, for instrument shown, b/g
#Council report, Your services, Your Council Tax 2008(unread, of course)
#4 letters, various
#looks like 'inferred poplars', requires further translation*
#2008 Diary, in which I pledged to write something, no matter how little, daily. Starting soon.........
#hanky, unironed
#BIG sellotape
#Liberty fabric glasses pouch
#3 Braeburns
#George Brassens, the inimitable, cassette - I will now sing 'Au près de mon arbre'. You may MUTE your sound.
#Mr T receipts, 5 of.
#Lollies! Bon-bons! Violettes-douceur de notre enfance, goût acidul!, arôme violette, opened January 2008, many eaten. HAVEN'T GONE STICKY! STILL ALIVE TILL 13/09/09! Gorgeous and Proustian.
#4 Wedgwood Great Musical Composers Mugs
#Village PO receipt
#ATM receipts, 3
#1m 3" petersham ribbon, red/blue/green stripes
#2 battery chargers for cameras, status:defunct
#Inland waterways teatowel, ironed
#3-ply terracotta serviette, origin unknown
#Killer garage MOT receipt £207.80
#STOP PRESS! TRANSLATOR'S NOTE:* ='unopened poppers', pack of 20.
~~~proceeding to overspill~~~
#Tie-dyed purple pareo, going to NZ, airmail, July 2007
#Multi-porphyry crochet hippy chapeau, departing Ditto
#Plastic file sheet
#French recycling info., <St Denis Catus
#18 deep-mined receipts, Jurassic layer, various
#7 letters, ditto
#Antique velvet piano throw, gilt and beaded threadwork
#Mr T Talkabout mag., current!
#DVD, as yet unopened(arrived in December, in my absence) will be in France, should be 'The Story of a Weeping Camel'.
#1930's 'Bathtime' postcard, unused.
#Greene King hotel confirmation(Mr T voucher conversion)for 28/12/07
#piece of paper with one coffee splat and no writing.
......Ma'am!
Thankyou Oates, you may leave.
ThankYOU Ma'am. I'm away to WW.

jo1972

recovering_spendaholic wrote: »

I have 3 bin bags of ironing in the boot of my car because my sister is coming for lunch tomorrow and I have nowhere to put it all!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

That is the funniest thing I've ever read!! What a great thread, don't feel half as bad now

ampersand

sand-dancer wrote: »

Hi all. .......
Friends -please help me return to my slovenly ways PLEASE!!! _pale_

############
I've just donged some slov. back into you with my weighty fruit number, sd:D

Buffy_the_Vampire_Bat

First read this thread at the weekend but was too drunk to type a proper reply That and I was laughing so hard I couldn't read what I'd typed! :A

I feel a bit of a fraud posting on this forum sometimes (even though it's my favourite of all the MSE forums ) as I don't feel I come anywhere near to matching the high standards of OSing from you lot...so I am most heartened to realise that you're not all paragons of virtue

At the end of the day, we are all only human, and we can only do our best (and what works for us).

So...here are my confessions...

1) I don't own a bread maker and neither do I make bread by hand - OH sometimes makes rolls/loaves/soda bread etc from bread mix, but never from scratch We don't eat a massive amount of bread anyway, but when we do it's usually Sainsburys TTD multigrain seedy bread - I swear one loaf has more seeds in it than a packet of bird seeds...This bread seems quite popular, and OH has got quite used to me legging it to the bakery section when we get to Sainsburys, scattering small children and old ladies in my wake, and growling at anyone who as much as dares to look at one of those precious loaves of bread before I've grabbed some:D

2) Can't sew, won't sew, that's me! Absolutely hate doing it, and here's where it gets really bad...I'm 28 and send my mending to my Mum to do I do favours for her in return, or buy her something nice When I take to a garment with a needle and thread, buttons fall off as soon as they have been sewn on, hems come undone within hours, and I have even been known to sew what I am stitching to what I am wearing at the time a la Jeremy Clarkson in Top Gear...

3) On a similar theme...knitting/crochet/cross stitching etc so not for me! Haven't got either the patience or interest, sorry!

4) My use of vinegar is confined to sprinkling on my fish and chips in Devon

5) I don't make my own preserves - we only use a couple of jars of jam a year so I buy some good stuff from the local farmshop - I don't need to make any pickles or chutneys - my Mum makes them instead and keeps us well supplied - OH really loves her runner bean chutney Do I win any brownie points back for at least making home made liquers like sloe gin and blackberry vodka *if there was a hopeful looking smiley I'd insert it here*

6) OH is currently having his first driving lesson in 10 years - I should be making the most of my time and doing something productive like working on the scrapbook I've been putting together from our most recent holiday, or making a start on tomorrow night's dinner (tonight's is spaghetti bolognese - sauce has come out of the freezer and is ready to go in the oven, saucepan ready for the pasta), or reorganising the kitchen cupboards or something, but I'm sat loitering on MSE instead

Must shift myself now

Buffy_the_Vampire_Bat

ampersand wrote: »

Let the fruit bowl called Basket(-case?) speak - and please note, fruit DOES feature.
Captain Oates, have you completed the cargo manifest?
Cargo manifest completed, Ma'am!
Kindly dictate...........
Begging your pardon, Ma'am, Most Honorable, but we're due to WW at 7 bells Ma'am and the list, is RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAther long.
Then proceed man, proceed without further ado!
#Cashmere scarf, bottle green, lovingly hand-laundered, saved from destruction
#Pink single sheet, recently starring on a birthday workplace table.
#3m blue cotton fabric
#lovely antique brass tripod, extending legs
#new hammer, bag for same
#new bullnose pliers, bag for same
#new longnose pliers, bag for same
#Voluminous chiffon scarf, beaded, sequinned, embroidered, but not as leery as that sounds.
#Mr T Value tissues
#Pokemon(why?for non-Childe Harold, if you read elsewhere)
#bananas, 4, in bag
#bananas, 3, earlier models(hence colour amendment)re-discovered below:
#Maori carvings teatowel, ironed
#Value oranges, nets, 2 of.
#roll of sticky labels
#bag of magimix attachments, for instrument shown, b/g
#Council report, Your services, Your Council Tax 2008(unread, of course)
#4 letters, various
#looks like 'inferred poplars', possibly requires further translation*
#2008 Diary, in which I pledged to write something, no matter how little, daily. Starting soon.........
#hanky, unironed
#BIG sellotape
#Liberrty fabric glasses pouch
#3 Braeburns
#George Brassens, the inimitable, cassette - I will now sing 'Au près de mon arbre'. You may MUTE your sound.
#Mr T receipts, 5 of
#Lollies! Bon-bons! Violettes-douceur de notre enfance, goût acidul!, arôme violette, opened January 2008, many eaten. HAVEN'T GONE STICKY! STILL ALIVE TILL 13/09/09! Gorgeous and Proustian.
#4 Wedgwood Great Musical Composers Mugs
#Village PO receipt
#ATM receipts, 3
#1m 3" petersham ribbon, red/blue/green stripes
#2 battery chargers for cameras, status:defunct
#Inland waterways teatowel, ironed
#3-ply terracotta serviette, origin unkown
#Killer garage MOT receipt £207.80
#STOP PRESS! TRANSLATOR'S NOTE:* ='unopened poppers', pack of 20.
~~~proceeding to overspill~~~
#Tie-dyed purple pareo, going to NZ, airmail, July 2007
#Multi-porphyry crochet hippy chapeau, departing Ditto
#Plastic file sheet
#French recycling info., St Denis Catus
#18 deep-mined receipts, Jurassic layer, various
#7 letters, ditto
#Antique velvet piano throw, gilt and beaded threadwork
#Mr T Talkabout mag., current!
#DVD, as yet unopened(arrived in December, in my absence) will be in France, should be 'The Story of a Weeping Camel'.
#1930's 'Bathtime' postcard, unused.
#Greene King hotel confirmation(Mr T voucher conversion)for 28/12/07
#piece of paper with one coffee splat and no writing.
......Ma'am!
Thankyou Oates, you may leave.

ThankYOU Ma'am. I'm away to WW.

:iloveyou:

Your fruit bowl sounds remarkably like the bottom/first/second/third/fourth steps on my stairs sometimes

*Edited to add* I mean without the fruit, the fruit does at least make it into the fruit bowl...

ravylesley

ampersand wrote: »

Bon, je suis rentr-!!.....(that's the only way I can make the acute show)

Let the fruit bowl called Basket(-case?) speak - and please note, fruit DOES feature.
Captain Oates, have you completed the cargo manifest?
Cargo manifest completed, Ma'am!
Kindly dictate...........
Begging your pardon, Ma'am, Most Honorable, but we're due to WW at 7 bells Ma'am and the list, is RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAther long.
Then proceed man, proceed without further ado!
#Cashmere scarf, bottle green, lovingly hand-laundered, saved from destruction
#Pink single sheet, recently starring on a birthday workplace table.
#3m blue cotton fabric
#lovely antique brass tripod, extending legs
#new hammer, bag for same
#new bullnose pliers, bag for same
#new longnose pliers, bag for same
#Voluminous chiffon scarf, beaded, sequinned, embroidered, but not as leery as that sounds.
#Mr T Value tissues
#Pokemon(why?for non-Childe Harold, if you read elsewhere)
#bananas, 4, in bag
#bananas, 3, earlier models(hence colour amendment)re-discovered below:
#Maori carvings teatowel, ironed
#Value oranges, nets, 2 of.
#roll of sticky labels
#bag of magimix attachments, for instrument shown, b/g
#Council report, Your services, Your Council Tax 2008(unread, of course)
#4 letters, various
#looks like 'inferred poplars', possibly requires further translation*
#2008 Diary, in which I pledged to write something, no matter how little, daily. Starting soon.........
#hanky, unironed
#BIG sellotape
#Liberrty fabric glasses pouch
#3 Braeburns
#George Brassens, the inimitable, cassette - I will now sing 'Au près de mon arbre'. You may MUTE your sound.
#Mr T receipts, 5 of
#Lollies! Bon-bons! Violettes-douceur de notre enfance, goût acidul!, arôme violette, opened January 2008, many eaten. HAVEN'T GONE STICKY! STILL ALIVE TILL 13/09/09! Gorgeous and Proustian.
#4 Wedgwood Great Musical Composers Mugs
#Village PO receipt
#ATM receipts, 3
#1m 3" petersham ribbon, red/blue/green stripes
#2 battery chargers for cameras, status:defunct
#Inland waterways teatowel, ironed
#3-ply terracotta serviette, origin unkown
#Killer garage MOT receipt £207.80
#STOP PRESS! TRANSLATOR'S NOTE:* ='unopened poppers', pack of 20.
~~~proceeding to overspill~~~
#Tie-dyed purple pareo, going to NZ, airmail, July 2007
#Multi-porphyry crochet hippy chapeau, departing Ditto
#Plastic file sheet
#French recycling info., St Denis Catus
#18 deep-mined receipts, Jurassic layer, various
#7 letters, ditto
#Antique velvet piano throw, gilt and beaded threadwork
#Mr T Talkabout mag., current!
#DVD, as yet unopened(arrived in December, in my absence) will be in France, should be 'The Story of a Weeping Camel'.
#1930's 'Bathtime' postcard, unused.
#Greene King hotel confirmation(Mr T voucher conversion)for 28/12/07
#piece of paper with one coffee splat and no writing.
......Ma'am!
Thankyou Oates, you may leave.

ThankYOU Ma'am. I'm away to WW.

WOW and thats all I can say:rotfl:

See this is the reason I dont have a fruit bowl cos I just fill it full of crap:o
That and the fact the ys decides to take a bite out of every piece of fruit in there and I dont discover it until its gone squishy:eek:

I love cooking but hate cleaning and if I was to start confessing my slovenly sins we'd be here all night.It suffices to say that cleaning bores me and I only do whats necessary and deep cleaning IMO is for people who cant think of anything better to do and I'd rather spend the time removing bellybutton fluff than that:D

Lesleyxx

zombiecazz

Cleaning hah....I'd rather be knitting.
Dusting - what's that!!
Only ever iron kids school clothes. (ha ha I loved the "thought it was a boat" comment)
Hoover is only for when visitors are due ( I generally discourage them).
I spend most of my time in our spare room. It's vaguely tidy and small enough to keep warm. The rest of the house is an utter pig stye, cluttered, messy and unorganised. Oh yes and cold!!

Love this thread it's made me smile, luagh and roll on the floor with tears in my eyes.