Been very stupid - will I go to jail?

bank_of_slate

If they put people away for taking out loans when you knew you were in financial trouble then half the people on this site would be doing bird!
*bangs porridge pan along bars for attention*
...Linda xx

Terrified77

After receiving a few PMs from people concerned about where I'd got to I thought I'd best post a 'hello' on here and let you know I'm okay!

Unfortunately I have nothing to add except that the advice someone gave me about putting everything together in a ring binder has been taken on board and I put that into practice this weekend. I haven't looked at it in detail yet, and don't know the exact figure of what I owe or which debts are older than others, but at least it's now all in one place. For me, that is a big step. It took me Friday night and the whole of Saturday to find everything. I didn't read most of the unopened letters I'm afraid - just opened them, looked at the logo and put them in the appropriate place in the binder. I will have a more in depth look at the folder later this week. I promise.

I also haven't phoned any of the debt lines yet. I WILL !! I just ..... I don't know. I'm soooo scared. I'm just terrified of saying "I don't know where the money went!". I think I'll throw up as soon as the words have left my mouth. It's one thing typing it on here, but another saying it and hearing it in your own voice.

My son ran away this weekend, although he's back now thanks to the police tracking him down at a friend's house, so it's been very rough and I'm extremely tired and stressed.

I'm very glad that I've got this forum to come to now - despite some of the less understanding responses - and I promise I'm going to sort this out and I will keep you guys up-to-date. I'm blown over by your kindness so far. I hope when/if I get myself sorted, I can be of help to others like you've been to me already thus far.

Thank you.

rog2

Hi Terrified - Thanks for letting us know that you are okay. I'm sorry to hear about your son, and I hope that everything is all right, with him, now.

Please don't put off telephoning one of the Debt Counselling Charities for too long. You really don't need to worry about talking with them - they are completely non-judgemental and are not going to tell you that you have been silly. They, as we all do, only wish to help you to reclaim your life.

dalip

Hi Terrified
Did wonder how you were but did not want to push the issue!. Kids! mine ran away once and got social services involved through pure ignorance/rebellion. Once i put SS straight about the fact that my 2 daughters would want to come home as soon as they had gone to the disco that i had said they could not go to, they backed off. As it was i was right,as we mothers who know their kids usually are. That was the last thing you needed this wkend though.

As Far as ringing the debt line goes, i picked up the phone on several occasions to ring them then "chickened out" as it mean't admitting i had a problem and that i had lost control. Who likes to admit defeat?. I have to say that once i did and nobody made me feel like dog pooh i felt better for it. Mind you when i read off what i owed and they read it back it:eek: was far more than i originally thought.
That said it was the best thing i ever did. As soon as i look back at my life this time 12mths ago i start to cry, because i put myself through so much grief all because of PRIDE. The old saying goes" pride goes before a fall" and it is so true. Glad we helped in some way. Keep up the good work in getting things together. Dalip

skylight

Dont worry about some peoples responses. It just makes them feel better by taking it out on people who are at a low point in their lives. Superiority complexes.

How is your son? Did he do this because thats just him, or because of the situation?

Mollymop5

I'm so pleased you've come back to let us know how things are.You've made a good start sortig out a binder You've obviously had quite a weekend to so when you take stock have a look through then give someone a call.I don't talk about how much debt I have on here.But I do know! It's a very large amunt and it scared the hell out of me when I totalled it up.I got some good advice from CAB and now pay token payments of around £2.50 per month.I won't have them payed off for an extremely long time I know but I haven't had anyone hassle me now for over 2 years.I think that they are just grateful to get something.I am living quite comfortably now.I'm following the grocery challenge and alot of other challenges to keep me on track.More importantly I feel better these days.Keep your chin up and remember things will get better for you but only you can help yourself we're all here for support though!

Toon_Dave

Hi T77,

i'm glad your son is back home safe. There are somethings which take priority over everything else and that is certainly one of them.

Now he is back though please do take the time to contact one of the charities. It will be nothing to worry about, They are there to help and assist you. They will not be judgemental at all, after all who is that going to help - no-one. you have made the first step posting here and the next is to seek professional advice from them.

The CAB or CCCS will be an excellent source of advice for you. Also check the CCCS website if you cant pluck up the courage to ring just yet so at least you can take the professional advice that is on offer.

Good luck and let us know if you need futher help.

Dave.

tigerfeet2006

(((hugs))) Terrified. Thank you so much for letting us know how you are.

Sorry to hear about your sonI am so glad they found him.

Well done for taling that little baby step and getting all the paperwork together. It's the first step of many and slowly those baby steps will become toddler steps, then teenager steps and finally great big adult steps and you will have done it.

Do phne National Debtline or CCCS. They are brilliant and will not judge you at all. If you are still worried about talking to someone about your situation then why not try the 'Debt Remedy' on the CCCS site. Just input your details and see what it says, it will also help when you do talk to them as you have already done the tricky bit and have all the info in front of you.

Think how much better life will be for you and your son when you are debt free.

Terrified77

Thanks again everyone. It's amazing what a few messages can do for your mood. Yes, it was an intense weekend and my son & I have some talking to do this evening but I'm sure he'll be fine. Just lashing out against the stresses of being a teenager and seeing his mum fall to bits I guess!

Quick question: Had a realisation over the weekend that on my loan applications over the years it has always been for 'home improvements' and/or 'consolidation'. Well with the exception of £2,000 which did go towards paying off other debts, the rest (about £15k) just went on living day to day life, and a few holidays. I'm very worried that this will be seen as fraud - I obviously had no intention of spending the money on reconsolidating debts as when the money hit the bank account, ex-husband and I simply started spending again. They will see that by checking the bank statements I should imagine. So does that count as lying on my loan application? Stupid question, of course it does!!

Very terrified again ......... :eek:

With the £5,000 I have in the bank, should I just skip town? I reckon I could live very well somewhere like Thailand for a few years on that kind of money (joke!).

Oh what to do, what to do. How did this happen? I used to be in control of my life. A few years ago, I had literally zero debt. Not even an overdraft!!

Keeping_Motivated

Hi Terrified you have taken the first step and put everything in a file. Thats great when you feel so overwhelmed. Keep taking small steps like these and they will eventually lead to big strides in the right direction.

So now you need to decide what is the next step going to be and just concentrate on that, try not to think of the big picture or I feel it will just paralyse you again. Focus on one step at a time you just need to decide the next step. You can do it.

X