Debt is so depressing

macchicken

i know how u feel.
But there is light at the end of the tunnel.
What u need is a project! Some thing that will make u money to squash those debts!
Do u have a talent (everyone has one, so dont kid yourself) use it to your advantage.
If its making something clothes, photography, singing playing an instrument or even knitting sell it try ebay, your own website. Failing that get a stall at a local market sell whatever you can get your hands on!
It will soon help pay off your debts.
good luck

ashmit

Funny, I'd just decided to make crafty Christmas crackers for most people as their Christmas pressies and if they go well to make a few extra and try and sell them on eBay

Thank you all so much for all the hints and tips on how to get myself out of debt and keep myself going in the meantime - rushnowt, wow! If you can come through such a dark situation, get out of debt and end up so much happier and better off (in all ways), then anyone can do it! Well done.

I know what you're saying about not knowing who of my friends are in debt, but of my four closest friends, every single one has claimed (separately) to pay off their credit card bill in full every month and to have been horrified when they heard of my debt situation - each of them separately tried to persuade me to stop using the horrendous interest rate charity card and get myself sorted (this was before my wonderful dad lent me the money to pay it off - I really should thank my parents again sometime soon for being wonderful!). I know they must all be abberations, but it still leaves you feeling rather depressed when you're the only fiscally irresponsible one out of the lot of you.

I also think that the fact I'm due to have a colonoscopy on Thursday has been bringing me down rather lately, so that probably didn't help my mood earlier today. And wondering - really. How DO those of you with kids who are on relatively low incomes survive financially. Is it really, really possible without getting deeper into debt again?

rushnowt

Hello ashmit,

Firstly Good luck for Thursday, of course you must be worrying but try not to i'm sure everything will be just fine, maybe exept for a little discomfort (i'm sorry don't want to make light of it) But there really is not point putting yourself through the worry about something until you actually have something to worry about, it will only make the situation worse, and at the moment i think you have enough on your plate.

As for having kids and dealing with money there are loads of links on here to give good advice and tips, theres one about saving money on benefits for example, i'm sure you'll find some really useful stuff on there though, also the links on how to feed the 40 thousand, with 2 loaves & 5 fishes, ;D only kidding feed 40 cheaply, a meal for 1.62 theres so much on here to help you cut down on costs and like everyone has said to you were all here for help, advice and just somewhere to have a good moan if you need to, theres many a sad story told on here and it really makes you realise the real things in life to treasure are your family, friends and self. Things dont always go according to plan and even the best can make mistakes, but its learning and becoming wiser by them mistakes that makes us better and stronger to cope.
Some great advice there by macchicken about utilising your talents to increase your income, and i really hope the crackers do well ;D you must keep us posted on that. Anyway i was going to say theres at least a couple of people on here that really seem to know their stuff on benefits, saving and low incomes, you'll easily pick them out while reading through various posts and i'm sure none of them would mind you asking for there advice either on the boards or by pm if thats what you prefer.
And just remember we wouldnt say we were here for you if we didnt mean it, they really are a great lot on here and can't thank them enough for help and advice i've been given since being here. So if you spot a bargain dont buy it let us know them one of us can buy it instead so you cant have it lol ;D Seriously though keep up the great work and keep us posted

Debs x

Spendless

Hi ashmit
Hope you don't mind but i looked where you said you'd posted and i've got a few ideas to help you cut costs

always take a packed lunch- depending on their filling sandwiches can be frozen - so you could do a mammoth session at weekend and just take out each day. There is a threadon it in oldstyle which i'll go bump up.

mags - somewhere on here there is a thread about 3 for £1 or there is quite often subscription offers eg the zest one with the free toiletries.
also what i do is my neighbour buys different mags and once we've done we swop.

look at buying clothes at sale times.

re - your friends remember they may hit hard times in the future and if not they should have some great tips and advice

there is a site called https://www.miserlymoms.com I haven't read it all but it's by a woman who was the main breadwinner and how she managed to quit her job to be at home.

Finally good luck in sorting it out.

StratApproach

I feel for anyone getting down about money. For years I spent stacks of cash.

I've got more cash in the bank now than ever before (enough to live off for 3-6 months with my wife earning), and no loans and CCs paid off each month, have medium size mortgage with over 60% equity, paid for education, cars and motorbike.

I get depressed over what I should (shouldn't) have done. Now self-employed so I live from month to month - never worried me before but I now lack confidence and anything moderately expensive sends me on a major guilt trip. Need new windows, but I don't want to spend the money out of the 'reserve'.

I've spent ages reading peoples situations on this site and there is always someone worse off (worse off for many reasons, not just money).

I create all sorts of scenarios, selling this and that, but don't end up doing it.

The pipe dreams have now stopped which is good. Just trying to build up more stability ie cash in bank - but how can stability be measured? Put it like this ... having kids frightens me - how would i cope financially?

You're not alone. Its a point in time.

Best wishes

StratApproach

ashmit

Just in case anyone was wondering, I've had the colonoscopy now and everything was clear.

Not eating for like 36 hours is really, really horrible, but I've never enjoyed toast and jam as much as that

Sarahsaver

I hope you are feeling better now. Debt is depressing, I have been through hard patches in the past due to the ex not fulfilling his responsibilities. I cancelled ALL my direct debits/standing orders, so i could pay the bills when i actually had the money. Threw ALL mail order stuff in the bin straightaway, only shop for clothes in sales, cheapie shops like Primark, charity shops. Make lists of what you need then see if you can cut some of it out. Bulk up meat dishes with extra vegetables. Make my own laundry detergent (getting my tenses muddled up because i still do a lot of this) Cancelled old credit card, got new 0% card to pay off the balance and binned the pin number and cut up the card immediately so I wouldnt use it. NEVER have storecards. Take drinks to the gym (cheap local authority one) Claim every benefit/tax credit you are entitled to. Make maximum use of the vouchers posted on this site, boots points for treats when u need to be pampered a bit.
Only do my grocery shopping from tesco.com and the local market. I feed myself and 3 kids for less than £60 a fortnight. Walk instead of taking the bus. Dont buy chocolate unless its off the cheapy market stall. Sell old stuff on ebay.
Concentrate on what you DO have the debt thats there will not get bigger, but smaller. Have faith in yourself. Best wishes.

ashmit

Threw ALL mail order stuff in the bin straightaway, only shop for clothes in sales, cheapie shops like Primark, charity shops.

God... I need to do this I normally do, but one came through the door recently and my husband opened it and spotted some gorgeous stuff. Maybe I should pass it on to my mum for someone to buy it me for Christmas instead ;D

Make my own laundry detergent

I have printed off the method for this so many times - I'll really have to actually get round to it....

Only do my grocery shopping from tesco.com and the local market. I feed myself and 3 kids for less than £60 a fortnight.

I need to work out over some time whether it's cheaper when we go to Asda and run the risk of impulse buying but don't get charged for delivery, or when we buy over the internet. Anyone got any theories about this?

Walk instead of taking the bus.

I have an annual travel pass for all zones in the North East, but am starting to think I should just get the zones I use. I would only save £40/year, but have to pay whenever I went outside the zones I usually use - but I suppose that wouldn't add up to £40/year. Yeah, next time I get a pass I'll get it for less zones.

Concentrate on what you DO have the debt thats there will not get bigger, but smaller. Have faith in yourself. Best wishes.

Thank you. It means a lot that people have been so nice and helpful to me.

peachy1964

debt is always difficult to overcome especially with all those credit card companies and loan companies constantly bombarding you with special offers and ever increasing credit limits.This is all ok until you can't afford to pay them back!
Don't dispair...don't take out further loans,credit cards etc,you just get further into debt....contact the consumer credit counselling service (cccs).they will list all your outgoings/incomings and tell you exactly what you can afford to pay all your non-essential bills(unsecured).they will then contact the companies on your behalf and try to get all the interest/charges stopped,so you can actually pay off the debt instead of paying just the interest.They take all sorts of things into account,haircuts,clothing,petrol etc and the staff are all really friendly

jellyhead

we were in a bit of a nightmare situation when i got married, i didn't realise hubby's debts from his previous relationship (all in his name!) would cause quite so much trouble. i worked out a spreadsheet with all our income and outgoings. we worked out a strict budget that allowed us to pay off our debts very slowly. at times it looks depressing to see how long we still have left on our debt repayments, but we decided to look on it more positively and see each month where we paid off some debt and didn't overspend on our budget as a triumph. as long as you're getting out of debt, no matter how slowly, you should be pleased with your achievements :-)