Credit card Fraud (by family member)

[Deleted User]

There is an extremely high chance he'd go to prison if you reported him. If the bank decided not to press charges (because for instance you threatened not to pay them back...but be careful not to get done for blackmail!) then he'd be likely to get away with a caution. In my experience I came across someone who'd stolen 12,000 pounds from a company and she was let off with a caution after the company decided not to press charges (after being quasi-blackmailed as per above); had they pursued the matter she would certainly have gone to prison for a year or two.

GreyPilgrim

Hi kenneth, few crossed wires there. I understood from your post that it's your son who has ran up the debt, and the house you live in is owned by YOUR dad - it seemed pretty clear to me and I don't know where the confusion came from.

In terms of your son showing remorse...do you think thats enough, or is some serious effort to repay the debt himself not called for?

You sound like a GREAT dad for standing by your son and supporting him, however (and I don't mean any offence by this), are you sure your son isn't seeing you as a bit of a soft touch bearing in mind he's done it before? As a dad myself I can understand if you find criticism of your son offensive (so I'll stop if it bothers you!)...I'm just wondering if you bail him out of this one again, would you find yourself in a similar situation a year or two down the line?

If I've spoken out of turn I apologise. Prior experience of posters on these pages, especially debt-free-wannabees show that if there's some root causes for extreme spending habits, then having someone come and sort out your problems only helps in the short term. Maybe he needs the shock of being reported for card fraud as a wake up call?

Sincerely, I hope it all works out mate.

lisyloo

If you want to get your credit reports then I suggest you get all 3 (Experian, equifax and call credit).
Some lenders only use 1, so you may not get the full picture by getting one report.

You can get call credit for free at
https://www.annualcreditreport.co.uk

If you have a capital one card, you can get equifx for free at
https://www.equifax.co.uk/capitalone.

Equifax and Experian offer free trial which cost nothing if you cancel in time.
Otherwise get the statutory report for £2. In my experience this takes about a week through the post.
They will of course be delighted to take more money off you for an instant on-line report, but in general there is no need to pay more than the £2.

Sorry to hear about your troubles.
I'm not a parent but I've had similar experiences with a nephew and car trouble.
It's a very fine line to tread between being supportive and trying to get them to take responsibility.

NickX

GreyPilgrim wrote: »

Maybe he needs the shock of being reported for card fraud as a wake up call?

I'm afraid I disagree with you here Grey Pilgrim.

Reporting the son the the authorities will do no end of damage to the family relationship. The police are very heavy handed and will treat the son like a common criminal with no regard for the sensitivity of the relationship.

At the end of the day it is only money and a repayment plan can be agreed with the credit card companies.

It is important that the son understands what he has done and certainly should not be able to run up such debts again, but I would strongly advise that this can be sorted out within the family without bringing in the authorities. Family is always more valuable than any amount of money, just my opinion.

kenneth1946

Well I am not as great as I sound.

I am still very upset about this whole situation. It's took me a week to talk to him.
As mentioned I can afford £170 but I expect this amount from my Son every month.

missile

kenneth1946 wrote: »

I dont think I was very clear with this. I own my Fathers house as he signed this over to me a few years back.

You need to be careful, if you do not offer to pay a reasonable amount to pay the debt off in a reasonable time frame then the CC may try to take your assets to recover the debt.

NickX

missile wrote: »

You need to be careful, if you do not offer to pay a reasonable amount to pay the debt off in a reasonable time frame then the CC may try to take your assets to recover the debt.

Not true, Credit card debt is unsecured, they cannot simpy take assets to recover the debt. They have to get a Court Order to send bailiffs round.

Provided the OP agrees to paying what they can afford, and £170 per month sounds ample to me, any judge will not be inclined to send bailiffs in, and the Credit Card companies will just to have to wait.

The crucial thing is that the OP is making some effort to repay the debts.

GreyPilgrim

NickX wrote: »

I'm afraid I disagree with you here Grey Pilgrim.

Reporting the son the the authorities will do no end of damage to the family relationship. The police are very heavy handed and will treat the son like a common criminal with no regard for the sensitivity of the relationship.

At the end of the day it is only money and a repayment plan can be agreed with the credit card companies.

It is important that the son understands what he has done and certainly should not be able to run up such debts again, but I would strongly advise that this can be sorted out within the family without bringing in the authorities. Family is always more valuable than any amount of money, just my opinion.

fair point. maybe mine was a bit of a kneejerk reaction. I do think some sort of kick in the pants is needed though...but a criminal conviction might be a little too far. Maybe somewhere in between.

I shouldn't really comment too much as I know nothing about the family situation, but Kenneth, don't beat yourself too up too much mate, at least you're supporting him.

NickX

Yep, I do think the son needs to realise the problems and stress that he has caused.

But Kenneth, it sounds like your doing your best to resolve the situation. The credit card companies will take reduced payments and will freeze interest for a period, but you do need to talk to them and negotiate.

Wishing you Good Luck with it all.

CannyJock

kenneth1946 wrote: »

Yes my fathers home is owned and paid off. The house is in my name.

Your father's home? Lemme see, assuming 1946 is date of birth, that would make you minimum 61, assuming your father was at least 16 1/4 when he got married, plus 9 month gestacion period for human baby would make your father 78?

Or is your son now using your forum account too and slipping up on his story? Or has it been the son all along?

Or am I just cynical? Actually, no need to answer that part, I already know the answer