HELP...stupid spending habits!!

freebie_junkie

poet123 wrote: »

The people on here and elsewhere who are so self righteous about not accepting help have probably never been offered any and are envious of those who have.

Why on Earth would anyone be envious of a kidult, a grown woman who lives of her daddy's money?! I have something money can't buy- the pride of knowing that my money, my home, my belongings, my leisure activities etc. are the products of my hard work. All mine, no one can ever take them away from me- wether it be the bank, the CC company or my rents. I don't have to answer to anyone- how embarrassing to be an adult who has to tell her daddy what she spends her (his) cash on, oh dear! I only ever took a student loan- no CC's, no overdraft, no pocket money, no handouts- you don't need them if you're prepared to be a proper grown up and take responsibility for yourself, including your finances. With some people (possibly not OP but you never know), being bailed out by their mummy and daddy becomes a life time pattern they can't break. He wants to grow a back bone and she wants to grow up, move out and get her own cash. (btw what on Earth costs over £200 pm if you're not having to fork out for food, rent, electricity, gas, home insurance, TV licence, etc- all the other big girl expenses?!)

skintstudent84

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skintstudent84

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Oldernotwiser

What I can't understand is how you're giving yourself such a lot of grief over a comparitively small debt and yet can be so gung ho about the fact that your father paid all your course fees and is still keeping you at the age of 23! It just seems illogical to me. If you feel guilty then move out and be independent if not, then just be thankful you've got a rich daddy who can throw money at you. I just don't see that you can have it both ways.

skintstudent84

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dizzie

Skintstudent84,

Don't know whether you will read this but here are my thoughts for what they are worth if you do:

1. A lot of people have problems managing money. For someone in your situation, it can be very difficult. You've a very limited income and of course you'll want to have a life and socialise with your mates...and going out can be expensive.

2. Don't forget that a lot of people on this site are parents and they have kids who often also find it difficult to manage money. If they come across a bit judgemental, it's probably mostly only the type of things that they would, with good intention, reinforce to their own kids. I'd try to be a bit hard-skinned about this, take it with a pinch of salt and not lose sight of why you posted in the first place. After all, I guess solicitors have to deal with personalities and opinions of all types in their work (so you could regard this as good practice !)

3. It is clear that some posters words may seem futile to you (however well-intentioned). You already know how you've got into this situation and I guess you will be bearing this in mind already as you try to manage things in the future. But for now, what you really need is some practical advice for dealing with the debt you have.

Obviously, we know nothing other than what you have told us, so some of my ideas may not be relevant, but I'll list my thoughts and you can take what you want if there is anything of use to you.

(i) What is your credit card interest rate? Can you get a cheaper rate by doing a balance transfer (some offer free balance transfers for a year or so for a fixed fee of around 2-3%, which is likely to be better than the interest rate you'll be paying now). Are you entitled to a student loan? Although these were just coming out when I was at Uni, the interest rate was pretty low and some clever whizzkids took the maximum out and invested them in high interest accounts. Remember everyone has a personally allowance of over 5k per year, so you should be able to stick it in a high interest account and fill in a form exempting you from paying basic rate tax on the interest.

(ii) Are there any other areas that you can save money on?
Martin has some great tips on this site. There is also a budget planner on the site where you fill in your income and outgoings. It is really helpful to see where it is all going and can make it easier for you to decide what areas (if any) you can make savings on (perhaps taking packed lunch rather than buying out or only using the car for essential longer distance journeys etc)

(iii) Whilst you have signed a contract not to work, you could maybe look at other money-making ideas (e.g. sellling unwanted things on Ebay). Maybe helping out your parents by getting to grips with this site and learning how to cut the cost of most things (perhaps you could share the savings between you)

(iv) It may be that on the allowance you are getting that it is nigh on impossible to make ends meet. The likelihood is that you will have to make a compromise - accept that you will need to accrue some (controlled) debt, which you should be in a good position to pay off once you are qualified, but do it at the lowest rate of interest possible. When people are in business they take out loans as an investment. You could consider a little bit of controlled debt as your investment towards your future career.

(v) You mention hydrotherapy for a dislocated knee. I don't know it it is still there but the London College of Osteopathic Medicine (which actually trains qualified doctors to be specialists in Osteopathic/Orthopaedic medicine) used to have clinics where the general public could go and get treatment. This was very cheap (I think it was just a donation but I'm not sure) and treatment was from already fully-qualified docs who were training under supervision to become specialists in this field. Don't know if this would be useful to you.

Wishing you all the best with this. I think it is really hard for young people these days, what with Unis charging tuition fees, having to find maintenance fees (text books for law can be very expensive) and of course the government is keen for us all to start pensions early when it can be difficult enough as it is to stay in the black.

Do come back to the board and let us know how you are getting on. :j There are a lot of people in similar or worse situations and whilst finding advice for yourself, you could also help other students who are struggling with their finances.

ejh18

I agree with dizzie - it is unlikely that you will be able to live on your income for the next three months, as your expenditure seems to only cover your travel and phone bills. Even if you are living at home and have no other bills to pay other things always crop up, and it will make you feel even worse if you deny yourself even simple pleasures. I struggled with financing a post-graduate course a few years ago, and debt is always going to be a factor - but the returns will be worth it in the end. Have you considered a Career Development Loan or a Professional Studies Loan? I know you don't want to get further into debt, but I fear this is inevitable, and spending further on credit cards is not a good idea. A Career Development Loan would be better as the interest is generally lower and you do not need to start paying it back until the course ends. If your current card debt is 0% interest it would not be a good idea to pay this off with a loan, but a SMALL loan for further spending (even if this is kept in a savings account and not touched at all), would make life feel more manageable. You will be able to pay it all back when your training contract starts, and a small manageable debt justifiable. The most important thing to focus on now is your LPC exams, from what I've heard they're not exactly a walk in the park, and it won't help to be so stressed about your finances.

freebie_junkie

skintstudent84 wrote: »

How dare you talk about my dad like this? He believes in investing in our education- I don't think there is anything wrong with this at all. He works in HE and it is obviously something he is passionate about- not that I have to justify anything to you. I never run to my dad for a new pair of shoes- I wouldn't dare.

I am glad you are so perfect, I have made a mistake and am willing to own up to that- by all means make judgements about me, I did start this afterall but don't dare talk about my father like that again please- he is a wonderful man.

So is my dad but I'd never let him keep me like your dad does for you, how embarrassing. I got a gret degree off my own back and I'm well on track to passing my post grad too (it's a pass or fail course), once again, something which is all mine. A lot of your degree/ post grad is thanks to daddy, how embarrassing for you.

dizzie

Quote by Freebie-Junkie: "So is my dad but I'd never let him keep me like your dad does for you, how embarrassing. I got a gret degree off my own back and I'm well on track to passing my post grad too (it's a pass or fail course), once again, something which is all mine. A lot of your degree/ post grad is thanks to daddy, how embarrassing for you."

A very unfair comment in my opinion. What on earth is so embarrassing about parents helping their kids where and when they can? I'm being frugal where I can now because I love my kids and want to help out, if and when they go off to Uni. I had it easy really - in the days of grants and maintenance (we were a low income family so I got the full amount). But I'm also teaching my kids how to manage money - they have to earn pocket money and make choices about how they spent it. I refuse to give them everything they want now - so I'm not being a molly-coddly parent.

Perhaps you just like to wind people up? Perhaps you have a chip on your shoulder or something - don't you like solicitors or families that work to help each other or something? This poster came on here to get some help - not scorn. Shame on you!

poet123

freebie_junkie wrote: »

So is my dad but I'd never let him keep me like your dad does for you, how embarrassing. I got a gret degree off my own back and I'm well on track to passing my post grad too (it's a pass or fail course), once again, something which is all mine. A lot of your degree/ post grad is thanks to daddy, how embarrassing for you.

This is a typical comment from someone without a supportive family,or a family who is unable to support(I recognise the difference!). Whilst you may have achieved by your own efforts, you obviously have an underlying issue with that,whether you choose to acknowledge that or not,maybe even to yourself!!!Live and let live.

Most families expect/want to support their kids though further education today, and why should that be embarrassing. To be honest I think much less of those families who don't do so when they are in a position to. Within reasonable limits.

We are not talking of supporting adults who are working and squandering their salaries on fast cars,holidays etc(though there are plenty of them on other threads on this board). Adults who take out loans,mortgages etc and then default on the payments and expect to be bailed out by all kinds of organisations.

So if you want to be judgemental there are plenty of other opportunities to do elsehwere.;)