HELP...stupid spending habits!!

skintstudent84

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freebie_junkie

Stories like this make me so mad- skin student, your financial immaturity is not your fault, your parents obviously gave/give you too much money for bog all and i doubt that they ever taught you the value of the pound. you then walked into the clutches of the banks/ cc companies like a lamb to slaughter- they really saw you coming. ive seen it happen with countless fellow students. and before anyone decides to jump down my throat, i paid my way through my degree and post grad myself, no mummy and daddy money for owt (i dont live with them at any point during the year either though im only 2 years older than you), i work very hard to earn my money and spent my student loan on food/rent etc. and i dont wasted any cash on stupid stuff- a student buying a car costing THAT much??? ridiculous! im sorry if you cant take it, but you are spoilt, youve no idea at all about the value of money, how sad for you- especially as your daddy has the right to ask you about your financial position as basically its his fanancial position. fingers crossed you manage to grow up and take responsibility soon (though how this can be achieved whilst still living in daddys pockets i dont know) as once you qualify and get that job, your earnings will entitle you to SO much credit for you to blow on a load of rubbish.

NessyNoo_3

I wonder what the point of this thread was really. IMO the OP has answered their own question or should be at least smart enough to! You know you cant up your income through working, therefore you have to decrease your expenditure. If you can't do that..I'm afraid you're stuck with the debt until you can pay it off! You seem to have worked out for yourself a way of getting a little extra income by selling clothes..why not head over to the other boards that give you more tips like these.

It does infuriate me somewhat, that you are clearly bright enough to help yourself on this one and I'm afraid I have no sympathy for the comments about being spoilt..because to some extent I agree.

You are incredibly lucky to have a father who can afford all those fees and an allowance. My sister was also not allowed to work during her course and she did what most students do- got into debt. She paid it off when she graduated and earned more than everyone anyway! It's not an ideal option, but it's reality for most...a cash flow problem.

Anyway, that's my two cents. FYI- I have never received handouts from my mum and worked right through uni, practically full time (not to the detriment of my studies). The point is..if you head over to the DFW board, you will see how measely your debt is compared to so many others that frequent the boards..if anything that should put what you've said into perspective and offer a slice of humble pie perhaps!

Voyager2002

quote=skintstudent84;9054747]Right now my main issue is guilt, my dad has repeatedly asks me about my financial situation and I tell him it's fine- my current account has always been looked after well and I have rarely gone over limits etc, it is the fact that in my third year and after graduating I had no incom and lived off my credit card. My dad wants me and my sister to start our professional lives debt free in the same way he did when he was a student- I don't think that there is anything wrong with this if you have the means to do so before anyone jumps in about me being spoilt- I hope to do the same thing for my kids. What upset me is that I spent his money and more...I was young, I was stupid and I am going to sort it myself. There is nothing more I can say- I will sort it, it's a debt I can clear in a couple of months with a wage coming in but unfortunately I don't have one right now so having a bill come in every month that I can only pay the minimunb off does worry me. I have been reckless, at some point we all are and I have learnt my lesson.[/quote]

You have clearly learnt some important lessons, which are quite possibly worth more than the money you have wasted. And if you have now found ways to live on your actual income, while meeting the minimum payment on your card and other debts, that should be sufficiently painful to provide the dose of suffering needed to reinforce the lesson.

I hope that this pain, and any lingering guilt, will motivate you to help the many people who face this kind of situation (or worse) and don't have access to the escape routes available to you. As a lawyer you will be in a position to provide valuable practical help, help that many people in need cannot afford (and do not understand that they cannot afford NOT to have legal help.) So I would encourage you to give a little time providing legal advice through a CAB, or taking on a few cases pro bono.

It is tricky working out how much to tell your father. Perhaps the parent of a young adult should not know all the gory financial details, but he is asking, means well, and it was his money that you spent. I suggest that whatever you decide to tell him, you write/email rather than using the telephone so that you only say what you want to say, and say exactly that. One approach would be to let him know, in general terms, that you spent extravagantly, have learned some painful lessons, and are now living within your budget and on track to pay off your debts. No need to give figures, and you might like to state clearly that you do NOT want him to pay them for you, since you feel that dealing with them is part of the learning process.

I am probably about his age (my son is 15) and as a parent, my main concern in this kind of situation is that the necessary lessons have been learnt so that mistakes will not be repeated. Th problem with deception is that it makes it impossible to point out what the lessons are, and may also be a sign of self-deception. However, once a problem has been admitted in general terms, it is not always necessary to discuss the gory details.

skintstudent84

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skintstudent84

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poet123

I am the parents of 2 students,one of whom alaways lives with in his means the other who doesn't!!! both brought up in exactly the same way,so why that should be I have no clue!!!

However, we too are fortunate that we can and do contribute to the education of our kids,and to be perfectly honest see that as our business and no one elses. We do it within cetain paramenters,in that we pay for rent/accomodation/tuition etc, not for nights out on the town!!!

The people on here and elsewhere who are so self righteous about not accepting help have probably never been offered any and are envious of those who have.

If either of my kids were in need we would want to know,especially if it was causing the angst it is causing the OP. All debt is relative, and what seems small fry to one person is a real burden to another,this level of debt is obviously bothering the OP,and that should not be denigrated.

As your father is asking,I suspect he knows something is amiss. I would tell him the truth and see what he says. Either way, of course you must pay it back yourself either directly to the card company or via a loan from your father paid by direct debit back to him.

If you prefer the first option consider whether the peace of mind of having no debt is preferable to biting the bullet and tellng your father,if it is not then take that option and reconcile yourself to having the debt for some time and try not to dwell on it. If you can bring yourself to tell him and take the second option,learn from it and never get into such dire straights again.

I agree with Voyager,this experience may well make you a better lawyer,who has empathy with clients going through hard times.

Whatever you decide,good luck

Oldernotwiser

skintstudent84 wrote: »

So because my debt isn't massive it's not important?

It's not a question of size, but of manageability. As you say, you'll be able to pay it off in a couple of months when you're working and you're managing the minimum payment ok at the moment so you really have nothing to worry about.
We may know nothing about you but you seem to know very little about the realities of other people's lives; you really do have it very easy and yet you can't just be grateful for this and seem to want to make a mountain out of the proverbial molehill! Several people have asked for information about your finances so that they can offer advice but you don't have any interest in providing this; all you want to do is wallow in a puddle of guilt. Pull yourself together and buck up!

skintstudent84

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blondie21

SkintStudent, Hang in there. Just try and keep your head above water until you can work. Your future career is more important. Would your dad not bail you out just until then. Or try and get the Interest frozen on the credit card.
I think your dad is fantastic for helping you out, and why not ? Everyone does these days if they can afford it. I certainly do.
My Daughter is in her final year at Uni and parties all week, BUT she is well on course to graduate this year.
I hope you had a great time being a student, 'cause that is what student life is all about. Soon enough you will be in the Big Bad World, working away.
And Well Done to you for doing so well and getting to study Law.
Good Luck Anyway