The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread!

Bismarck

Just a half baked idea but I sent Martin a message a while ago about the dangers of Christmas and I thought that it might be an idea to aim for an ongoing presence near the top of the the Board that gives people an easy access point and a bit of company if they feel they are about to fall down either in a small way or a big way.

something that can be bumped, is a regular reference point for those challenged by Christmas in its many guises and but also includes contact points for anyone who needs them.

a bit like the "notice for newcomers" thread but with a different slant.

what do you think?

eselt

Hi all- love the idea Bis- you gonna moderate it?

Jo- so sorry you are struggling- you know when you get the shakes thats physical dependance creeping up on you again- get the detox when you need it, the time of year doesn't matter, people who really love you will just want you to be well. Please, please Jo take care- one of the main reasons I don't drink at all now is because I can't bare the thought of starting to quit again- 7 detox's, spells in hospital, children in tears when they visited, my poor old dad head in hands sobbing at the end of the bed- please please Jo, get some help because the further down this road you go, the longer it takes to come back.

Graeme- some really thought provoking reflections from you- you seem to have the confidence that comes with being insightful and in control- I'm hoping I get there myself in the future.

Winebox, polaroid, shoppy, fay, molly, BHB, Bis....and everyone else...lets do this, we can do this, and theres never going to be a good time to stop drinking, so lets just stop? (cue music, 'search for the hero inside yourself'- cheesy, but every little helps!)

Bismarck

eselt wrote: »

I'm hoping I get there myself in the future.

You do yourself a disservice, eselt...when you first started posting you said a lot of things I would have posted myself if I'd thought of them.

for anyone else who is wavering...

a thought that finally helped me do the right thing when it got tough:

"who am I to deny my children their father's presence and love in the years to come?"

I may not be rich but one thing I have that my circumstances can't take away from me is my time. I am the one who can decide to waste it or save it to spend with those I love.

biscotte

hey all, a busy old day on the AF wannabe board, just caught up (i had in-laws staying)

Jo, I so wish I had pearls of wisdom to share but most times when it comes to alcohol I'm as dumb as the next person. I'd arrange to have you kidnapped and whisked off to a secret detox place in the mountains but I just don't have the contacts. I can't remember if you have kids?

The only time I dealt with a similar addiction was with smoking. I did the same 'don't want to , hate the wretched stuff' when I was queueing up at the kiosk, same when I lit up. I quit about 30 times before it stuck and most of that time i hated myself a bit inside for smoking. the last time I think I finally decided I was good enough and deserved not to die prematurely of a long painful illness - it was all a head thing (physically it was carp for quite a while but it passed).

Reading everyone's posts has been interesting. if I am honest I immediately thought, gosh I don't drink that much, maybe I don't have a problem. But within a few minutes the voice in my head said, 'who are you kidding? If you had more opportunities or problems you'd be drinking like a fish' - and it's true. Having moved to a new place I don't go out too much, am very tired adapting and having to get up at the crack of dawn so my drinking has reduced (I was on my own with the kids a while too so didn't drink which helped).

Bis, I think your idea is great. i think the the equation is:

Christmas + financial crisis and despairing people = get bombed and try to escape for a while which is equivalent to long term alcohol problems just waiting to develop.

Could we bump this thread? or start a new, more direct one (rather more need help with alcohol) and bump it?

BHB, good to see you again.

Greetings Shoppy, faye, molly, WB, polaroid , Eselt and everyone else - my hand is here to hold for anyone who need it.

eselt

Hi all- how are the muskahounds tonight? Keep going girls- you know it makes sense!

Do you think we are all getting a bit whimsical and philosophical this christmas?- xmas always gets me, I find it hard not to reflect on past times and important things.

Found peoples unit disclosure excruciating earlier on- when I had to do a alcohol diary as part of my therapy a couple of years ago I thought I should be honest and as I was drinking at least 3 bottles of spirits a day, and whatever I could get my hands on, I was averaging around 100 units a day- and I wandered why I was so bloody ill- thats the sort of person that goes on the Jeremy Kyle show in leggings and knackered trainers and I think I'm worth more than that, or I hoped to be.

I tell you what guys, we can go round the houses kicking alcohol around till we're blue in teh face- but at 40 I feel the happiest I have ever been, I feel I can think, reason, be patient, be kind, be creative- oh loads of it- and this has all been suppressed over the years as I've chosen to be a drunk. What a mug- hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Bismarck

For what I've done...I start again...And whatever pain may come ...Today this ends... I'm forgiving what I've done...

I've been a mug too. But as the Who would say, Won't Get Fooled Again

jo1972

eselt wrote: »

What a mug- hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Not a mug, just a learning curve. And you now hold dear what most think is their god given right

Well I reckon one of the wheels on this here wagon is loose cos it's been a bumpy ride this evening but I'm still holding on :j kept myself very busy and am now bout to go to bed and look forward to waking up un-hung-over'ed.

Graeme, thanks for your message. And, yes, you are right and I already knew the facts really, it's just that being a secret drinker this relapse round I feel disappointed and embarassed to admit to anyone (cept you lot!) that I've been drinking and been struggling again. I am confident that I can get there by myself, just need to notch up a few days again to get that confidence built up.

This is the last chance saloon though, if it doesn't work this time then its gonna have to be a detox...

Hope all my fellow muskies are good and behaving

xx

eselt

Jo- loads of hugs- nobody said it's easy- keep going, feel very proud of you today- god, can you just imagine when this is all over and you get the chance to be a human again, took me ages, but I think its coming back slowly- can't wait,

winebox

Evening all,
Great idea Bis. I've always had Xmas in the bosom of a large & loving family but for all sorts of reasons, good & bad, happy & sad, don't any more, people move on & whilst I'm lucky enough to have good friends in their place I had a couple of years panic that nobody else would be here & it's made me realise what a bleak time it can be for people who don't have someone to be with. Or possibly even worse have to be with people they don't want to be! And there's nothing like the "festive season" to rub your nose in any problems when everyone is so determinedly jolly whether or not fuelled by alcohol.

Sorry my "hand holding" has been remote tonight, Jo, & Shoppy. Unfortunately I don't have a laptop so it's hard to be in a "live chat" situation of an evening as ye olde steam driven PC is tucked away in the spare room upstairs & the telly's downstairs! I'm on my way to bed & book now, AF, & all clean sheets it's gonna be lovely. And as I haven't had a drink i won't dribble on the white pillowcase Hope all AF aspirers have had a good evening. Just seen your post Jo - well done & goodnight :T . And thanks for your post Eselt; must remember to have a tissue handy when I see your name pop up!

BTW - the whisky in the Baileys idea was down to OH, not moi. I don't think I'll be having any more baileys now...totALLY AGREE WITH ALL COMMENTS ABOUT TOO SICKLY CREAMY. (OOPS hit caps lock by mistake). My favourite Xmas tipple is probably even more unpopular - I just adore advocaat!

Goodnight all - fingers crossed for AFD2s all round tomorrow x

polaroid

blimey you lot. think today has been one of the most thought provoking days i have read on this thread. i am sat here a little bit dumb struck taking it all in.
eselt i find your posts so inspiring, you are so honest and the brutatly of your truth really helps.
jo i dont know what to say, i feel for you because i can tell how much you dont want to be drinking. but when it becomes you, until that voice in your head stops, it does feel like it owns you. stay strong, you can do this and you will.

bis, i think your idea is great. not just for support with AF but in general, i think a lot of people find this time of year VERY hard, and with the money problems there is that extra pressure on people. i am looking forward to xmas but i am also scared, i will be dropping my little girl at her dads for xmas day afternoon and its bothering me already
xx