The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread!

Bismarck

thanks for letting us know Elantan - take care....was pondering the downsides to drink on the way into work this morning and thinking how many things it has destroyed over the years. If we looked at what's it has done it really is mind-blowing....to give so little yet cost so much.....why did we ever go near it?

eselt

Shoppy well done:j :j :j

As for the weekend, I know its the end of the week, you've been working hard, you deserve a rest and chance to unwind and relax, a glass of wine (then a bottle +) would do it........but its a habit...thats all it is...and its a habit you want to break....perhaps just try one alcohol free weekend, don't commit yourself to any more than that, and see how it goes...on Monday look back and think about whether you missed the hangovers, the money spent, the rows, the tiredness, the potential embarrassment/memory loss/bad behaviour..and compare this with the weekend you have had. I always lived for the partying at weekends, but now am quite glad to not drink at all as it takes the pressure off and I don't have to think about alcohol at all as I have made my decision, and even if life is a little bit less hectic and less exciting, I like the balance and consistency I've found by staying sober. The best bit is my kids don't dread weekends anymore because I'm more predictable, there are less rows and the mum who tucks them in to bed at night is the same mum as they see in the morning- not some hungover bad tempered monster whose alcohol consumption means they never quite know what kind of mood I'm in.

You've done brilliantly shoppy, and everyone else too- what about giving it a go, you can always say on monday, 'No, I really want to keep having a drink at weekends'- and thats OK, but it would be good to have a go at an alternative which you could feel equally happy about and enjoy?

Have a great weekend everyone, I'm so impressed by everyone at the moment- I mentioned this site to my alc. counsellor and showed him and he said he will suggest it to his patients who don't want to go to AA etc as an alternative- Bis, you could be in for a busy time!!!!

Thanks Eselt

Bismarck

very well said, eselt....yes I'm a bit boring in some people's eyes but that is no bad thing....my definition of boring was always going to the same place every night to have a drink because that's the done thing...stuff that.

I do like early mornings.....another day where I really feel the benefit of not having slept through hell and feeling like I'd been fighting in my head all night.

er...thanks for recommending the thread..whatever works......we've all got help and knowledge to offer and if we make anyone's life better then that's got to be good.

eselt

Bismarck wrote: »

very well said, eselt....yes I'm a bit boring in some people's eyes but that is no bad thing....my definition of boring was always going to the same place every night to have a drink because that's the done thing...stuff that.

Hey Bis, theres nothing more boring than a drunk...things I don't do anymore include:
sob into my pint over stupid things rather than deal with them (boring the pants of family and friends who have heard it all before)
argue with people and get aggressive
change moods at the drop of a hat
stagger about and fall over
repeat myself and forget things I've said
sit with a puffy blotchy face and glassy eyes
slur and talk rubbish
pick on people and upset them
embarrass my family and friends
feel upset and ashamed in the morning, usually when I check my purse, and noones speaking to me and I can't remember why
feel physically ill with a hangover
ignore the feelings of people who really love me in favour of superficial drinking buddies

How boring is all that?

Hope everyone is OK- have a good weekend all.

elantan

Bismarck wrote: »

thanks for letting us know Elantan - take care....was pondering the downsides to drink on the way into work this morning and thinking how many things it has destroyed over the years. If we looked at what's it has done it really is mind-blowing....to give so little yet cost so much.....why did we ever go near it?

i honestly think alot of it is conditioning ...it seems to me anyway that in our society alcohol is used to celebrate things so it is seen with happy times ..it is also used as a meeting point (eastenders coronation street for example)so alot of social gatherings go round it...and i think that we are conditioned to enjoy it and i also think that it is a silent addiction ..we arnt addicted at first but as time goes on the addiction starts and before we know it we cant let it go ...well my kinda two cents worth anyway

fluffyb

Hi all
I'm new, but want to cut down on the wine too - mainly for financial reasons, but also health reasons.

Trouble is, the deeper into debt I go the more I feel I need that drink some evenings

I don't want to give up completely,just cut down

eselt

Welcome fluffyb- you'll get plenty of support here, whether you want to cut down a bit or stop- just keep posting.

Elantan- you are so right, alcohol is so deeply engrained in our culture its virtually impossible to get away from it- what really shocks people is when you politely say, 'no thanks' to a drink at a celebration or a night out and you don't have a reason like driving or medication, you just don't want to drink- people think you are a kill joy or odd. I don't think people do it on purpose, I think it must be difficult for people who can control alcohol and enjoy it sensibly to understand what its like to really need it and crave it.

mollypolly

Morning everyone.
Hope you are all ok.

Welcome Fluffybishop.We are a freindly lot on here.Keep posting and reading and I am sure you will soon be where you want to be.

Have a good day all.
See you later.
Love Mollypollyxxxx

shopaholictiedtheknot

Morning everyone,

I awoke once again to a strange and sober feeling today - this is becoming a habit (hooray a new and better one :T ) Day six today:eek:

I popped on last night at half ten and just missed everyone it seems! I am at my desk at work at the moment and just had to fight back tears (sorry I am an emo at the moment :rotfl: ) at the advice and support you have all given me once again - I really don't know where I would be without this thread - thank you all so much:grouphug: (non dodgy group hug:rotfl: )

I feel determined to get through the weekend without a drink, I am going to spend today making a list of things I want/need to do around the house to keep me busy, OH and I are going to visit his parents and his grandma tomorrow so will be out till mid afternoon, wish me luck!

Welcome FluffyB - good luck on your journey :beer:

winebox

Hi all!
Well done eselt / Bis - I spent the rest of yesterday after my morning post thinking how unhelpful i'd been to shoppy re the weekend (as in don't look to me for advice as I'm not going to be AF myself) I felt very after but could not get back on PC. Sorry Shoppy! And good luck - luckily for you it's not just me on here!!
Good to hear from you Elantan; keep at it.

Just made AFD 4 yesterday - days 1 - 3 were pretty painless so was not worried about the wine delivery....until I got home. Then I found myself clock-watching (it was due 4 - 6pm) & even at one point (4pm!) wishing it would come! I asked myself, if it wasn't due would I be wanting a drink & might I consider going out for some & both answers were no so it was all because it was going to Be There. I honestly don't know if I would have caved had it turned up then :eek: . In the event it arrived at 5.30 & I was in the middle of dins (safe! once I've eaten) so it went straight into the boot of my car & am taking it to OH's after work. Because......it's Friday. I am not going out, nobody due round, so....AFD 5????!!!! Is why have to get rid of the wine to OH!! Like others on here Friday has always been drinkies day - more than Sat night. Mustn't count chickens etc but 5 days will be a personal record in a loooooooooong time. We'll see! Is my body AF now? It's not thanking me - I cannot get out of bed in the mornings, am sleeping really heavily. Having to go to bed early too cos so tired!

Back later - have a good day all x