The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread!

beachbeth

Good luck, Jo. Im sure you will manage your night out. As long as you have decided beforehand that you are going to drink coke/lilt or whatever and haven't got alcohol sitting at the back of your brain as a 'maybe'! Just keep focusing on how proud of yourself you will be the next morning knowing you have got through what could be a tricky night and still haven't had a drink. You sound so positive that Im sure you are going to have a really enjoyable, alcohol free night.

mouseymousey99

Hello Folks, Hope everyone is doing fine. I have another question for you long term chaps if I may? I wanted to ask how do you handle stress? Had a bit of a stressful situation today - where I would normally have a couple of glasses of wine (I didn't) I went out of the house for a shuffle around instead. Its a looooong night ahead though.......

beachbeth

I would like to know that too. I find that a drink really helps when Im under stress and helps me calm down. Also, if Im upset and can't stop crying about something the alcohol stops me crying so that I can go to bed dry-eyed and wake up the next morning without the swollen eyes! I don't know what else would help me in this way really.

eselt

I found after getting sober I can deal with stress so much better- when I was drinking any little thing that went wrong meant I'd head straight for a bottle, I thought it made me feel better but it just stops you from dealing with stuff. When you are fuzzy headed or hungover you can't think, reason or problem solve and everything seems so much more difficult to cope with, you get tired and run down, feel guilty about drinking and all the money you've blown, so you drink more, get more unhappy/depressed, and it becomes a vicious circle.

Now I feel like I'm back in the land of the living, I'm sharp and full of life, more confident, proud of myself, healthier, a nicer person to be around- AND the things that used to stress me out don't anymore because I feel strong and happy. A great deal of the stress I thought I had disappeared when I stopped- the panic attacks, anxiety, depression- all seem to have gone- I'm off antidepressants and have an appetite again.

One thing I have noticed is that I was very 'emotional' for quite some time after giving up- I think I had dulled all my emotions with alcohol and just used it to put off dealing with stuff- I cry more now but realise this is all normal and human, and I accept it and live with it- its great to feel stuff again, even if those feelings aren't always happy.

So I suppose the thing I am trying to say is that stress is easier to manage when you are sober. Other things that help are getting fitter, eating properly, finding ways to fill your leisure time which don't revolve around drink, get a hobby (write that book or paint that picture), take vitamins, reward yourself, like yourself, get a goal that motivates you....and pat yourself on the back for recognising that you were heading towards having a problem with alcohol but you tackled it and won. And you won't have the 'stress' of hiding/worrying about your drinking. Best of luck with the battle.

Bismarck

jo1972 wrote: »

Well done Jo, that is fantastic :T :T :T

It's still early days for me, so don't know if I'm the best person to give advice (Bis, that's your cue!), but as I am coming up to my second weekend I plan to not think about it until it's turned up and take each day/hour/minute as it comes.

I've learnt so much about everything since I stopped....each day as it comes is the best advice in many ways....play the board in front of you....

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow not yet born....live for the moment.

Each day, I thank the stars that I'm alive.

I don't make a big thing of it or people would think I'd lost my mind!

Bismarck

eselt wrote: »

Now I feel like I'm back in the land of the living, I'm sharp and full of life, more confident, proud of myself, healthier, a nicer person to be around- AND the things that used to stress me out don't anymore because I feel strong and happy. A great deal of the stress I thought I had disappeared when I stopped- the panic attacks, anxiety, depression- all seem to have gone- I'm off antidepressants and have an appetite again.

So I suppose the thing I am trying to say is that stress is easier to manage when you are sober. Other things that help are getting fitter, eating properly, finding ways to fill your leisure time which don't revolve around drink, get a hobby (write that book or paint that picture), take vitamins, reward yourself, like yourself, get a goal that motivates you....and pat yourself on the back for recognising that you were heading towards having a problem with alcohol but you tackled it and won. And you won't have the 'stress' of hiding/worrying about your drinking. Best of luck with the battle.

and when you turn the corner to being happy with all this you'll realise that you're tougher than you thought you were...and the battles you've faced and survived mean that you are actually stronger as a result.

My demon will always be there but I know how to keep it locked up....and he's not getting the keys....he's done enough damage already.

mouseymousey99

Great to hear, very inspiring stories. Its almost 11, and doing fine, no wine required anymore thank you.

eselt

Mousey- well done, friday night sober- all the reasons to drink, but you didn't, huge pat on the back.................

Bis-thought the analogy about the demon was brilliant- mines locked up too, but rattles his cage far too often for comfort..............

Jo- how did the party go? Hope you are OK.

Hope everyone has a great weekend, keep on keeping on.................

beachbeth

I found your reply so helpful, Eselt. Thanks so much for describing that sober state to us! It really makes sense what you say and its going to inspire me to try even harder to cut down even more or stop altogether. Thanks!:T

Bismarck

eselt wrote: »

Mousey- well done, friday night sober- all the reasons to drink, but you didn't, huge pat on the back.................

Bis-thought the analogy about the demon was brilliant- mines locked up too, but rattles his cage far too often for comfort..............

Jo- how did the party go? Hope you are OK.

Hope everyone has a great weekend, keep on keeping on.................

thank you....I've a handful of golden rules that I make sure I remember in times of temptation....

It's odd now that I can look at stressful days that come up and how I'd take the edge off the stress with a beer. As I am now, I realise that there was never a right amount to have to get the effect I was after...it was like an impossible target...troubles to one side with no after effect at all and no mood alteration...how is this really possible? Talk about setting yourself up for failure!

I've had days recently where, in the past I'd have had " a couple" just to relax me...I know now that this would have been pointless and have been able to deal with the days in question infinitely better through being sober and on top of my game and not thinking about getting through until lunchtime so I can have some fresh air and stop feeling so dreadful.

Anyway, glad to be sober....a day at a time....all you can do is decide what to do today.