Do I "live" with my partner?

Jo_R_2

Hi all

I recently informed the council of some changes in circumstance with regard to my claim for Housing Benefit as I have reduced my hours at work. They have sent me a 'Change of Circumstance' form for me to complete, which is basically a not-so-shortened version of the original claim form.

It has got me thinking. I claim as a single parent, but I have a partner who doesn't live with us. He stays over regularly, but still lives at home with his mum who he pays board to.

We don't share finances, I pay all my bills and do the grocery shopping. He keeps a handful of items here and spends some time with the girls but isn't a father figure as such.

In my head we're not at that point yet where we're committed enough to live together, although it is something we have spoken about and plan to do in the future. However, I know that someone doesn't have to 'live' with you to be considered your partner for purposes of benefits claim.

I suppose what I'm saying is that would it be right for me to inform the council that I have this relationship although we're not actually living together? I'm not in the business of wanting to hide anything, I want to be completely honest. What worries me is that they may decide that we do live as husband and wife and stop my benefits, but because we don't share money, that I will be left pretty much penniless.

Zazen999

How often is 'regularly' - once a month, year, fortnight, day??? Is he on the electoral roll at his mum's? Does his mum pay the full council tax at hers or does she get a reduced rate for living alone?

I am sure there are other official ways of determining this, but you need to be a bit more pragmatic about looking at it.

Jo_R_2

mitchaa wrote: »

Yes i would say you live with your partner.

The worst case is a neighbour or someone reports you for it. Your benefits are stopped, your excess payments are backdated so you are thousands in debt and you end up with a criminal record and in some circumstances a custodial sentence.

Not worth running the risk.

Reading your post....How many 'single' mums say the exact same thing when they have been reported? I would say near enough in all cases.

I would say you were commiting benefit fraud.

Tbh when the form arrived I thought, well, I 'feel' like things have changed because he stays over most nights which has been a recent thing. By most nights I'd say 5 or 6 out of 7. He is on the electoral roll at his mums and she pays full council tax, his mail goes there.

I'll be honest, I am in no way wanting to be duplicitous, so I shall be telling the council. I have absolutely no intention of concealing circumstances. The only thing that worries me is as I said, that if they consider us to be living as husband and wife, that I am left with my 22 hours a week wages and child benefit, child tax credits and nothing else and no way to pay my rent. I guess it's more the thought that we would have to take our relationship that step further when I'm not ready to do that.

Sounds strange when he does stay regularly... I can see how it could be seen though.

Zazen999

mitchaa wrote: »

Claiming to live somewhere else, ie being on an electoral roll or getting the bills delivered in another address is a common excuse.

All it takes though is a few photos on consecutive days of a partner leaving and entering the house and that's it, busted.

Not worth the risk IMO.

Hi- I wasn't trying to find out about what the OP is claiming - just what is actually happening.

m.colak

Hi im sure they class it living together if its more than 3 nights a week sorry to be the bearer of bad news

Mojisola

Jo_R wrote: »

I'll be honest, I am in no way wanting to be duplicitous, so I shall be telling the council.

How about talking it through with your partner first? His reaction to being listed as your OH on the form would be enlightening. It might move the relationship on or he may back off in a hurry - either way, answering the questions on the form may be more straightforward.

Jo_R_2

Zazen999 wrote: »

Hi- I wasn't trying to find out about what the OP is claiming - just what is actually happening.

Okay - I'm not claiming as a single parent when I am in a relationship where we live as husband and wife. What I'm saying (not very eloquently!) is that I don't consider that we *do* live as husband and wife.

The situation is thus: he stays over regularly, most nights. He has a few items here but does not call this his house or home, and I call it my house, and do not expect that at the end of the day, he comes back here if that makes sense? The rest of the time he is at at his house, where he lives with his mum. I pay my rent and my bills, he pays board and his bills, and we do not share money or finances. Our families and friends consider us a couple. He spends a small amount of time with us as a family group but does not assume any parental responsibility at all and does not play any part in the girls life as a parental figure.

Hope that makes things clearer. I am aware that despite how I see things, the council may see it differently, which I think is what I am trying to say.

Jo_R_2

m.colak wrote: »

Hi im sure they class it living together if its more than 3 nights a week sorry to be the bearer of bad news

Hi m.colak!

This I understand is not quite true. A bit of benefit folklore I do believe! I think it's what is widely quoted but I understand that there is nothing in law that specifically states this - although if anyone wants to prove me wrong please do!

Having said that I can see that him staying over so often could be seen as living together.

shellsuit

Jo_R wrote: »

Tbh when the form arrived I thought, well, I 'feel' like things have changed because he stays over most nights which has been a recent thing. By most nights I'd say 5 or 6 out of 7. He is on the electoral roll at his mums and she pays full council tax, his mail goes there.

I'll be honest, I am in no way wanting to be duplicitous, so I shall be telling the council. I have absolutely no intention of concealing circumstances. The only thing that worries me is as I said, that if they consider us to be living as husband and wife, that I am left with my 22 hours a week wages and child benefit, child tax credits and nothing else and no way to pay my rent. I guess it's more the thought that we would have to take our relationship that step further when I'm not ready to do that.

Sounds strange when he does stay regularly... I can see how it could be seen though.

If he stays 5-6 nights of the week then you are definitely classed as living together, of course you are, it's only 1 or 2 nights he is at 'home'.

emmy05

id honestly call him staying over most nights and the fact that he has items of his at your house, living together. obviously hes making it like he is, or else he would go home at the end of the evening, rather than having clothes to change into etc for the next day .............
i think perhaps its time to get down to the nitty gritty, cos if you did get reported, i cant imagine its a nice thing to go through x

terryw

shellsuit wrote: »

If he stays 5-6 nights of the week then you are definitely classed as living together, of course you are, it's only 1 or 2 nights he is at 'home'.

It is not as simple as that. If it was, any soldier, long distance lorry driver or indeed any person who worked away could claim that they did not live there and therefore the partner was entitled to benefits. This whole thing about the number of nights stayed is not an exclusive indication of "living as husband and wife". It is to do with financial arrangements and other people's perceptions if the couple are a couple or not.

You could even have couples who are parted but continue to live in the same house because of housing difficulties.