How old is too old to have a baby??

classybird_2

I'm 35 and about to start IVF this month!

I married my DH when I was 30 and we started trying for a baby a couple of years later when we both felt the time was right. (He is the same age.)

However after 2 years of trying with no success we ended up going to see our GP & being referred for tests etc where we found out that we both have fertility issues & the bottom line was that we need to have IVF with ICSI (where they inject the sperm into the egg.) It has taken us a year to get to this stage after all of the initial tests & waiting for the next appointments etc. We were told that there is a 2 year waiting list for IVF on the NHS in our area so we are ending up paying for it privately as we felt that another 2 year wait was just too long.

(In my 20's I would never have been ready to become a mum. I was more interested in going out every weekend and having nice holidays! I didn't meet my DH until I was in my mid 20s' and we were both still living at home with our parents & spent a good few years saving up a deposit to buy our first house together.)

HappySad

I have read what everyone has been saying.

Just knowing that you should not wait too long means that when you do find the right person the you shouls seriously think about going ahead with a baby. I waited 5 years when I had already found the right person.

1st baby conceived @ 35 took 1 month , 2nd baby took 1 year @ 38.

I was not ready to have a child before that time ... but once I did eventually have the 1st child, I wish I had done it sooner. Also when I was trying for the second child I wondered if I would ever conceive again because of my age.

Spendless

grey_lady wrote: »

Both my great grandmothers were still having babies well into their 40's,
of course that's before the Daily Mail told us how hard it is...

My husbands hobby is researching his family tree, it doesn't matter what side of family he goes down he finds the same thing, women having children till their early - mid 40's.

My neighbour has had fertility problems since she was 21, whereas I conceived 3 times in the first month in my 30's.

OP - Good Luck whatever you choose to do.

HappySad

Yes good luck and home that everyone comments help you with your decision.

sassybooboos

never ever was going to have kids then at 32 i decided to have one, dont think i thought i was ready but thought just go along with it.

well what a shock my whole life was turned up side down. really hard as i was so used to just looking after my own needs.

3 yrs later and i wouldnt change a thing love my kid to bits,

i am now trying to decide whether to go through it all again or not at the age of 35.

sleepless nights really is the worst bit. you just cope with the rest.

just make the right decision for you.

zoelouise88

i wouldnt really say any age is to old my mum had her last at 39, i think if your not ready then wait until you are.
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Cherryscone

sassybooboos wrote: »

i am now trying to decide whether to go through it all again or not at the age of 35.

sleepless nights really is the worst bit. you just cope with the rest.

just make the right decision for you.

omg that could have been me that said that ,:) my wee boy will be 3 in june i will be 36 in june i also have a 19 yr old and a 16 r old( i started young) my oh is 42 this year and i am really broody ,it doesnt help that my friend of 37 is pregnant either ,this morning i was so tired i thought no i couldnt cope tonight i though oh i would so love another tbh its easier being a mother now that i am older and wiser ,and you youself can only make that choice any pregnancy every birth every child is different but theres nothing that beats that feeling of holding your newborn in your arms as i am sure others will agree.
i widh you luck and keep us posted on what you decide

chinagirl

skintbutsmiling01 wrote: »

At some point you have to consider the child- is it fair for them to have the increased risk of losing a parent early? I think up to 45 is ok if you're healthy and still up for sleepless nights, endless questions, mess etc! its a personal choice.

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That is not a good arguement, my father was 26 when I was born, but died of a heart attack at age 45. On the other hand, my DH father was 40 when he was born, and is still an active 84year old. No one can say who will live a long life or who will die prematurely.

skintbutsmiling01

Point taken, however I was talking generally, and it is more likely that and proven that people only live to a certain age. My parents were early-mid forties and have always said they wish they had us 10 yrs earlier, as they will not see their grandchildren grow up.

LouBlue

skintbutsmiling01 wrote: »

Point taken, however I was talking generally, and it is more likely that and proven that people only live to a certain age. My parents were early-mid forties and have always said they wish they had us 10 yrs earlier, as they will not see their grandchildren grow up.

My mum had me and my 2 sisters in her mid-twenties and she got to see her grandson and grand-daughter get to 15 and 12. And if I get lucky enough to have a child, I am very upset she will not be around for support, see the child grow. If I had known she would pass away last year, would I have had a child earlier though? (I am 42). Probably not, as I was not ready and not with the right partner. Life has a funny way of throwing all plans right out of the window. You can only do what is right for you and when you feel ready to start trying for a baby.