How do I tell them or...

electro_girl

A big hug to you My husband doesnt see our 3 children often ,thats what he wants not them.My children are 16,14 and 8 and they cry at night for him its so hard but you stay strong and i send love your way :smileyhea

susiesue_2

dont worry as long as they have yo they have everything. when i split from ex he had them everyweekend but his "friends" told him he was stupid or a mug to do it. now he has a GF its becoming less and less. but you know what? the kids dont seem to mind-i do but i wanted them to maintain a relationship. they are great kids who are doing well at school. my point is as long as they are loved and fed they will be fine. if they are messed about maybe not so. write to him and keep a copy and lay down your terms or, ring him and dial 141 1st in case they have caller id. it sounds like the gf is causing trouble.

hcar

Thanks everyone for your input, its terrible that this happens time and again.

I know if he doesnt make an effort then when the kids are old enough they will realise what a waste he is but surely they will be hurt, I grew up without a my dad so I know how they are going to feel.

Going to get proper advise tomorrow, will try and keep the thread updated with the out come.

AnnieH

Good luck chick

stas4949

God this is a hard one!

My dad messed me about when I was younger until eventually he stopped bothering! It tore me up as I was daddys girl and only 8 years old! I hated my mum as I thought it was her fault....

So in hindsight this is what should have happened or what maybe you should do....

Call him and give him a chance, DO NOT offer to drive, let him do the running.... talk to the kids about their dad find out how they are feeling (no one ever asked me) tell them that daddy may be coming back into their lives ask them how they feel about it! DO NOT tell the kids when he is coming that way if he doesn't turn up nothing is lost! Start of with him coming and seeing them just for the day, they all need to bond..... if he doesn't like this tough, he needs to understand he has let them down and needs to rebuild a relationship. Go through her if you have to it doesn't matter as long as you get your point across! Be nice, I know this seems obvious but kids pick up on things! Try not to go to court unless he instigates it! If he wants to see the kids and be a dad he will work with you as you will be acting in the best interest of your kids....
The kids will work him out when they are older and make up their own minds!!!!

As a result of my upbringing I have a good but strained relationship with my mum! and my dad I have seen approx 6 times in 20 odd years! I worked out he was a loser and your kids will too if thats how it turns out!

I hope this helps