Alone & had enough!!

sira_2

I'm sitting here feeling so sorry for myself and have no one to talk to so sorry to put it all on you guys but then i wouldnt blame you for not reading passed the first sentence. We are so badly in debt that have decided to sell our house to get out of it. We are on a DMP with CCCS and our debts will take until 2034 to pay off so it seemed the sensible way out. The plan was to sell up and rent get ourselves on the straight and narrow and look to but again in about a year, we would still have approx £20,000 to put down as a deposit hopefully. But i know this sounds ridiculous but there just isnt anywhere to rent that we can afford even though we could pay as much as £750 pm. So we have now looked into buying again and have found a house we like. The problem with this is OH has a CCJ and so we're having problems finding someone who will give us a mortgage and those who will their rates are more than we can afford. Our buyers want to complete at the end of this month and i really dont know what to do. I have spent the last 2 days continuously on the phone to mortgage brokers and rental agents and still no further forward. Hubby is no help at all, says he doesn't understand mortgages etc so leaves it all to me this includes all the responsibility of the debts. I had to sort the DMP and his CCJ and the impending Charging Order hearing in between working, looking after the kids and the house. I've completely ran out of steam and have no-one to turn to for help i have no family and wouldnt dare tell my friends the embarrassing truth! Thank god the kids are away this week but i feel like i just want to go somewhere warm, snuggle up and never wake up again. I'm really sorry i know i've got to pull myself together and find away out of this mess but i've had enough!!

Penny2myName

Hugs to you Sira, wish I could be of more practical help, but not having ever had a mortgage myself I know nothing about them. Wish your OH was more supportive, as he seems to have found it easy to offload it all on to your plate, leaving you stressed and feeling cornered. Off load on here all you want my dear, myself and others are more than happy to listen, and some may even have advice.

markrussell78

My heart goes out to you, I know that horrid sickly feeling, I had it when I was going through my divorce. I really feel that your OH should be inputting into this . Its really not fair to leave it to you, after all I'm assuming it took both of you to get into the situation only right it should take both of you to resolve it. Just my thoughts. As for any actual financial advice I'm sorry I cannot help you. The whole credit squeeze is def making lenders more picky who they lend to and I guess the CCJ just makes it all so much harder.
I'm sure someone will be along soon to throw some decent financial advice your way. I hope that this all sorts itself soon for you. I know its hard but try not to dwell to much on the negatives.
All the best Mark.

hypno06

Hugs to you Sira, it is hard enough doing all of this, but to do it on your own is really hard, so hats off to you.

Pania on these boards is a mortgage advisor, and she might be able to point you in the direction of a lender who is able to help? Perhaps a PM to her with your details would help. We are probably not supposed to advise things like this but I am not sure what else I can suggest to help.

Keep strong xx

rayday2

Hmm my gut instinct would be to stay put. But probably not want you want to hear.

The interest on a new mortgage could be so high you could end up paying thousands. Also if you have children you could be working full time at some point between now and 2034 so your DMP will not last that long.

It is so hard for anyone to get a mortgage at the moment let alone people with credit problems so I symathise but would if it was me stay put for now and move at a later date when the credit crunch has settled down a bit.

sira_2

Thanks guys, can't stop crying, just want it all to go away

beaujolais-nouveau

sira wrote: »

Thanks guys, can't stop crying, just want it all to go away

Sira, you are being so brave and unselfish. Take one day at a time.

If it were me, I would stay put. The present financial climate is something that none of the banks has seen before - they no longer trust even each other to be able to pay back interbank lending - and loans are becoming harder and harder to obtain. No one, not even the experts, know what the next 12 months will bring by way of economic conditions. In America, the "credit crunch" is getting worse, not better: conditions are deteriorating on several fronts (see article in today's Times, "The vicious circle that trapped America"), including falling property prices, and you probably know the saying: when America catches a cold, the UK catches 'flu.

If there is going to be a recession in the UK, you will probably weather it better by staying where you are rather than taking on a new mortgage and risking going into negative equity.

Hope this helps.

rayday2

Unless you can find a property to rent or a mortgage guarantee then do not sign contracts you will make yourself homeless!

Sorry to be blunt but you have worked hard for that home please make sure you do not sign yourself out of it!

rayday2

I know people on this board talk about debt free dates and how important it is to be debt free but a DMP is slightly different.

You are re-adressing the balance of credit for everything you need a little patience, it will not take all that time to pay off I guarantee it and put that out your mind.

What is important is a roof over your head and money on the table if your DMP has been set up right you should be finding that a bit easier, the first 6 months are the hardest then after that it gets easier. We need to learn to live again without credit, then each month that goes by you know you will owe less in the world - keep this in mind and stay strong.

I would not at this time if it is looking doubtfull for a mortgage persue it any longer you are prolonging the nightmare, think about your current finances now if you are still strugging go back to your DMP provider and tell them they can do things!

poorandindenial

Aw honey, you are going through it.

I have to say though that I agree with rayday2, if you stay put you should be able to get yourself back on an even keel over the next few years and then you might be able to pay more towards your debts, get cccs to renegotiate higher payments and get what you owe gone earlier.

You sound like you are in a bit of a hole at the moment and need a bit of support to get out, can you talk to your hubbie about how this is making you feel - even if he can't face the financial stuff. It might be worth going to your GP to have a chat abut how you are feeling and he/she might be able to suggest something to help (that doesn't automatically mean medication, it might mean putting you in touch with someone to talk through things with) or you could call the samaritans and just talk to a sympathetic ear about how you are feeling, and of course we are always here to listen and try to help in any way we can.

I really hope that you start to feel better soon.

Storm

Hi Sira,

Have you tried your local council for accomodation? It might not be brilliant or in the area you ideally want, but if you explain you're having to sell to pay off debts then they may be able to help - otherwise try local housing associations. I can understand completely wanting to sell up to clear everything, but as others have said right now isn't the easiest time.

Would your current mortgage provider transfer it to another property? I just wonder if you've always paid on time for years they may look at that more than just see the CCJ at slap the rate up.