8 year old boy and swimming changing facilities

ailuro2

Get your son changed before he goes through the men's changing room.
At 8yo he should be old enough to stay out of the water until you get there.

When swimming is over, get him dressed poolside, then get him to wait beside the reception area while you get dressed.

If the staff complain about what you're doing, then explain why you're doing it.

I agree 8 is the right age to segregate the boys from the girls, but can see your point.

My 9yo girl goes to martial arts classes so hopefully she's able to defend herself a bit, ie make her less of a target' against any potential 'baddies' It also teaches her to assess situations and think about whether the stranger is acting dangerously. Perhaps something like this would help you make the change to letting him be a bit more independent?

TurnaroundSue

SmileyHappyBeing wrote: »

Are there not any toilet cubicles that you could use?

Yes, but these are usually absolutely soaking with either water or something else!!! I will show this thread to my friend and I think that we should collectively write to the council and see if they could put cubicles in/make into a family changing area.

I thank you all for all points of view and I do agree that there needs to be a cut off age when they can no longer change in a female changing area. However, if you knew my friend's son and his personality, you would understand our concerns. He is very young for his age and doesn't look it, and where my daughter is a very mature 8 year old, her son isn't!! Sometimes there are not other children in the pool, sometimes there are and occasionally when his friend has been at the pool he does go into the male changing facilities, but on the whole it is just my friend's son and my daughter who go and it is on those occasions which cause a problem.

I will definitely be contacting the council about this issue - once again thanks for all your input and points of view.

Clive_Woody

Becles wrote: »

....and find topless or tiny bikini clad women on holiday an endless source of amusement :rolleyes:

Something we never grow out of........:T

anonymousie

May I suggest that, at the time you are using the pool (presumably designated "free for all" times at weekends/early eves and school hols) that, actually the pool will be quite busy and the changing rooms the same. Actually, during kids swim sessions the majority of adult males in the male changing area will be Dads with lads anyway.

I have a son of 12, and we hit this ruling too. We do have cubicles but he still goes to the male changig area on his own and he did at 8. Personally I'd rather NOT have cubicles TBH- changing in an open communal area probably allows more folk to "ogle" him if they wish, but the chance of anything more serious happening in a public area I would think was less, and certainly if he screams and shouts someone would know.

BTW I set a time limit for changing and he, and the girls know if they aren't out in 5 mins I'm coming to get them:rotfl:

Teach him to change "subtlely" too. I don't mean the full Mr Bean change without taking your clothes off. Havig 2 sisters DS had always had strategies for this, but he can put his PJs on (including taking underpants off) with a view of very little flesh except a hint of manly chest/back. I'm sure such a skill is very useful in changing at school/swimming too.

Nicki

anonymousie wrote: »

Personally I'd rather NOT have cubicles TBH- changing in an open communal area probably allows more folk to "ogle" him if they wish, but the chance of anything more serious happening in a public area I would think was less, and certainly if he screams and shouts someone would know.

I do agree with this. In my opinion the most dangerous place in the changing room will be the cubicle, followed by the toilets, followed by the corners of the room. Your child will be safest in the middle of the room, where he cannot be trapped by anyone, and where no one can touch him or interact with him in any way without being seen by others using the changing room, or by anyone walking in.

I would advise your child's boy:

1. always to change in the middle of the room
2. if he walks into the changing room and there is only one person there, to walk out again and wait for 5 mins for that person to leave
3. if the room is fairly busy, to try to change next to a child of around his own age, or alternatively next to a man with a child
4. not to get into any personal conversations with anyone while changing (ie not to give his name, where he lives, what school he goes to, etc)

He could also change without revealing anything, and without drawing attention to himself, simply by wearing an outsize T-shirt which he keeps on while he goes from pants to trunks, and puts on before he goes from trunks to pants.

He may look little to you, but if there isn't a family changing area, either you have to give up swimming with him, or teach him these independence skills a bit before you think he's ready.

I do think that the poster who said it wasn't fair to 10 year old girls to have an 8 year old boy in a communal changing room does have a valid point. We are lucky enough to have family changing rooms at our pool, but I know that when a friend kindly took my then 7 year old son swimming with her and her child, that she was embarrassed by the degree of interest he had in her changing. It has to be born in mind that they start sex education at school in Year 2 these days, so by the age of 8 they have a natural curiosity in what all these strange bits that the opposite sex have.

izoomzoom

I started a similar thread http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=376203 about a year ago, when my son turned 8 as I was concerned about taking him into the ladies toilet / change room (in light of these signs that are displayed).

DS1 is now almost 9 and still comes into the ladies section and changes inside a cubicle there (invarible with DS2 who is 6 and I stand by the open cubicle door). He is now also starting to visit the men's loo on his own and after much do's and don'ts from me, he is in and out of there so quick I am surprised he even had his pants up by the time he gets back to me, waiting at the entrance door.

inkie

This is not a leisure centre in the usual sense in that it is a comprehensive school by day and the facilities are used by the public at night.

They should still have disabled facilities. Our local pool runs on a similar basis, and they have disabled facilities. Anyway, what if they were needed for a child at the school?

bestpud

dad-of-4 wrote: »

I learnt to swim after being turfed of a big truck innertube at a funswim by a big boy in the deepend, and it was a case of swim or drown.

i can remeber going home proud as anything and telling my mum what happened and that i can swim now.

An 8 year old drowned in a public baths just a few days ago...

buxtonrabbitgreen

When my DS had to start using the mens changing rooms, I was a little worried, but my main concern and quite justified as it happened was that he would go straight into the pool before I got there. Even though I had told him not to. Luckily he was ok. And even at 8 he was moaning at me worrying too much. Explaining that he was ol=nly in the shallow end. I agee with everyone who says that family changing rooms are the best solution in these circumstances. Off the subject a bit, but I hate changing in communal areas myself. Bring back cubicles.