8 year old boy and swimming changing facilities

TurnaroundSue

Sorry - reading back over this thread I sound very negative and defensive to all your suggestions and I don't mean to be. I am very grateful that you have taken the time and effort to reply and would not like you to think that I don't appreciate your suggestions. I think it might need a letter to the council to state that until they come up with alternative changing facilities for both sexes then we will continue to take both my daughter and my friend's son to the pool and let him get changed in the ladies changing room!!
Surely they must have an obligation under the safety of the children to ensure that the changing facilities are adequate for all children especially in this day and age?

Many thanks once again for all your replies - I truely appreciate it.

Spendless

So what about him going in his trunks with clothes over top. He takes clothes off in male changing room and goes back to the door to give them to his mum. Meanwhile you and your daughter have got changed and gone into pool. Friends son walks back thru male changing rooms into pool where he joins you, his mum changes herself and puts all clothes in locker. On finishing swimming you all go in the womens, cos hopefully it won't be noticed and when it is it's tough you've already swum.;)

barbarawright

Sorry to be contrary but I'm not happy about an 8 year old boy in female changing rooms. I feel uncomfortable when in an open shower area or communal changing rooms to have boys staring at me (and yes, it does happen), My local pool used to allow even older boys in the women's changing rooms (even whole classes of 11 year olds) and it was awful. Is there a real reason why he can't go in the men's rooms - do you really think anything dodgy is going to happen in there? I certainly managed when I was younger than that - do you help him change at home?

I know this sounds harsh but the rule of 8 is fairly standard nowadays so I'm sure I'm not the only person who has complained about having boys staring at me while I'm changing or in the shower.

sarahlouise210

Who in their wisdom decided that 8 was the magic number I wonder ??? I would not be happy allowing an 8 year old to change on their own..girl or boy. All pools should provide at least one family changing room thus avoiding unnecessary distress to anyone concerned. I am surprised that the school does not have to have any disabled facilities .

lindab15

Hi,

Interesting thread - I also have an 8 year old (girl) and my husband has recently commented that he can probably only take her swimming nowadays if I or our elder daughter come too, because of this 'over 8 /opposite sex changing rooms' ruling.

I do sort of agree with it - have to draw the line somewhere as starts to embarass both adults and children at some point. But I'd struggle with letting my eight-year-old do it - just still seems a bit young.

A quick search online seems to suggest the ISRM introduced this magic benchmark of 8 years old (see their guidelines here). However, they also strongly recommend the provision of a family changing room, to get over the 'duty of care' and child protection issues being discussed here.

bright_side

barbarawright wrote: »

do you really think anything dodgy is going to happen in there? I certainly managed when I was younger than that - do you help him change at home?

I don't think needing to help him change is an issue here :rolleyes: and as for the first question......we all like to hope that 'dodgy' things won't happen anywhere - unfortunately we are proved wrong all too often - and where our children are concerned it's just not worth taking the chance!!

Idiophreak

karen23 wrote: »

and where our children are concerned it's just not worth taking the chance!!

So is that to say you should change with them until they're 30?

At some point, he's going to have to go on his own.
Now, what will really help him if somebody tries to do something dodgy to him? The way I see it, there are two things:

a) He could be big enough to defend himself.
Realistically, a kid's not going to have much of a chance against a predatory adult until they're 13 or 14...

b) He could be smart enough to call for help.

I'd have thought most kids would know how to do this by 8...

So really, if you're not prepared to let him go in there at 8, what's going to change when he's 9 that makes him any more prepared if something goes wrong?

I can't see it.

MEJ_2

Idiophreak wrote: »

So is that to say you should change with them until they're 30?

At some point, he's going to have to go on his own.
Now, what will really help him if somebody tries to do something dodgy to him? The way I see it, there are two things:

a) He could be big enough to defend himself.
Realistically, a kid's not going to have much of a chance against a predatory adult until they're 13 or 14...

b) He could be smart enough to call for help.

I'd have thought most kids would know how to do this by 8...

So really, if you're not prepared to let him go in there at 8, what's going to change when he's 9 that makes him any more prepared if something goes wrong?

I can't see it.

I wasn't happy with the age 8 rule but luckily I had another pool to use.

My point would be that I didn't want to have to explain to my 8 year old that dodgy people exist. They have to grow up too soon anyway. Much better to save that for later, say 9 for those who develop early but later for some

dad-of-4

i was toddling of to the swimming baths at 5-6 without an adult, and ive never used the ladies or a cubicle, people who did would be considered weirdos lol
im sure my son would have something harsh to say if his mum said he was getting changed in the ladies. haha

man it was good being young and free in the 70's-80's.

I know where your comming from tho, its a hard job bringing up kids thesedays when things aint as free and easy as they were in our time.

Becles

I can understand where they are coming from with the age 8 issue. I've got two boys aged 11 and 9, but they have been aware of bodies for a while now. They will stare at women, and find topless or tiny bikini clad women on holiday an endless source of amusement :rolleyes: I can understand women feeling uncomfortable having boys stare at them while they are showering and stuff.

I've not had a problem sending them into the male changing rooms to get changed. I think the risk of anyone sexually interferring with them is minimal to be honest. Most of the time there are other Dad's/Grandad's in there getting their little ones changed, and I would hope they would keep a look out for anyone dodgy who may be loitering. In the same way I would step in if I did see anything untoward happen to a girl on her own in the ladies changing rooms.