8 year old boy and swimming changing facilities

MrsE_2

I don't think boys of 8 should be changing in an open womens changing room.
TBH I don't think boys older than toddlers should.
But I can see where mothers of boys are coming from here too.

Perhaps ALL pools should be make have a few family rooms, so people with kids of 5 to 11 (ish) can use them.

amaseal

My son and I were thrown out of the female changing rooms but after complaining we were allowed to use another area. This was so much bother that we stopped swimming for a while unless he had a friend with him.
Family changing should be provided. Another alternative of drying him off at the poolside and him waiting for us was frowned upon.
In fact, when older, around 11, an overzealous security guard quizzed him whilst he waited for us, he never swam at that pool again.
We Mums are supposed to just let go and trust that they will be safe. Many male changing rooms have no cubicles.
Incidentally when my Dad died a paedophile work colleague targetted my brother and offered to take him swimming. The man died in prison recently and I was horrified to read that he ran a swimming club and abused boys for another 30 years before being caught.

belfastgirl23

I kind of think you're being overprotective - sorry.

I think so long as you're going at times when it's reasonably busy (which is all the time in our gym) he is safe. I can't think of any time when I've been in the changing rooms and have been with only one other person. There are also often attendants about and if you're worried you could ask for the first couple of times if an attendant could pop in just to check he's okay. Also again for your own peace of mind you might want to have a chat with him about appropriate behaviour etc.

In my book too at 8 boys are old enough to be curious about womens bodies and this is pretty unpleasant if you are trying to get changed. It's not that they mean anything by it of course but it isn't nice to be on the other side of it.

strawberry_laces

I completely understand and agree with the O.P.'s concerns. My 10 year old has only been going in the male changing rooms by himself for about a year. He was either in the unisex ones or cubicles.

its the same with the toilets in supermarkets, hes only been doing that by himself for about a year too, he was going into the womens as they are cubicles and therefore safer. I certainly did not want him going into mens toilets with other men peeing into urinals with perverts looking at his 'bits'. He didnt feelk comfortable doing it and I didnt either, hes only gained the confidence to do it this past year. I still take my 7 year old into supermarket toilets and ladies changing rooms at the gym and swimming pool as again, I dont want his innocence being vioated by perverts looking at his bits. Plus I feel he cant defend himself if a grown man was to follow him into a cubicle, I would also say (as I know my boys character) that he would be shocked and scared into silence and not call for help. He would just be too scared and frightened. He will come into changing rooms and womens toliets with me until I know that he would be able to ask for help if he was approached and he knew what to do.

Unfortunately in this day and age you cant assume it wont happen to you. The world is too violent and filled with too many sickos that want to harm our children.

Strapped

I've got to agree, my eldest is 6 now and I find it hard to imagine letting him change alone by the time he's 8 (for one thing, he'd probably be in there forever!) I'll probably be the one breaking the rules by sending him through the men's changing rooms with his trunks already on and smuggling him back into the ladies afterwards...

So much simpler if everywhere had cubicle changing.

TurnaroundSue

Thank you all for your comments. If we could go to another pool with communal facilities then we would. This is not a leisure centre in the usual sense in that it is a comprehensive school by day and the facilities are used by the public at night. Sometimes it can be busy and other times can be quiet. The other day we were in the pool and an older man got in at 7.45 - he didn't do any swimming just sat by the edge (in the water) watching. We thought he had come in early for the adult swim which started at 8pm. However when it was time for all the kids to get out, he too got out. We thought this was very strange and did actually advise the staff at the time. There is no way I would have let any young lad go into the changing room by himself after that. I know that maybe we are being over-cautious, but surely prevention is better than cure.

If you knew my friend's son, he is a young 8 year old, too busy with himself to be looking at other women!!! Also like the OP if he did go in by himself then we would never get home!!! My daughter and son's friend have been going swimming every week since they were little and it would be a shame if we couldn't go anymore because of the changing arrangements.

And no this is not about us being totally unrealistic and expecting them to come into the changing rooms with us until he is 30 (a flippant remark which was not justified in my opinion) - this is about an issue that affects many people and is a sorry state of the world we live in today.

nottslass_2

OK, there are lots of valid points on all sides, but has anybody thought of the other aspects of safety here ? Not all 8 year olds can swim yet, so surely any parent would be reluctant to leave their young child.unsupervised at the pool side,whilst they get themselves and other children ready !

Surely 10 or 11 would be a more realistic age

kr15snw

Hmmm this is an awkward one. I would not be happy with letting an 8 year old change on their own, BUT I also wouldnt be happy with having an 8 year old boy in the female dressing room. They are very aware at that age! Lol.

There should be unisex / family changing rooms at all pools. Is it something you could write to the pool about and ask their suggestions?

seven-day-weekend

kr15snw wrote: »

Hmmm this is an awkward one. I would not be happy with letting an 8 year old change on their own, BUT I also wouldnt be happy with having an 8 year old boy in the female dressing room. They are very aware at that age! Lol.

There should be unisex / family changing rooms at all pools. Is it something you could write to the pool about and ask their suggestions?

Agree with this, although I would want the family changing rooms to have cubicles as I do not want to get changed in front of anyone else's family!

Also, presumably there would be adults and children of both sexes present, I think unless there are cubicles, getting changed communally would be even more unwholesome than having single-sex changing areas.

How much effort/cost does it take to stick a few cubicles in?

bestpud

I am all for children being as independent as possible but changing alone at 8 years old is stretching it imo.

Personally, I would be pushing the baths to provide family changing facilities and if I met a 'brick wall', I'd write to the local paper and see how many other parents feel the same.

In our pool, you would not even be able to hear a child in the other changing room unless they screamed very loudly! Then they would have to wait in the main entrance for their mum to come out.

I think if they have a friend or sibling with them it is a very different scenario though.