also not said enough....

16011996

I use that many coupons when I shop that Im sure Im already a shopper from hell . I bet my mugshot is in Tesco staff reception with a warning .  ::)

;D lol

jellyhead

My son is borderline autistic too . He has trouble in shops , he says they are claustrophobic and also had problems with certain lights .

*sorry , gone off topic slightly*

i think it's not too far off topic because people were mentioning how rude it is when other people tut or get involved when a mum is struggling with a child throwing a wobbler. ADHD is quite common nowadays as well as autistic spectrum disorders and lots of children are adversely affected by lighting. i think it affects adults too, you see so many couples arguing in the supermarket lol!

i think the supermarket is the place you're most likely to get children having tantrums, and people should be more considerate and not interfere in such situation. by the way (this is off topic) have you tried coloured lenses? i saw a TV programme about coloured Irlen lenses helping some children with autism, they stopped one boy from bumping into walls. i bought myself some react-to-light glasses after that, they are always dark in asda and they have stopped me from getting a migraine every time i go in there. i wish i'd known about it before my son started school because i always used to take him shopping with me, poor sausage!

Poppy9

While acknowledging that some tantrum throwing kids suffer from Autism what about the kids who are just plain naughty. Usually you can tell those because the parent asks them if they want a slap (not the best offer in the shop!) or just gives them a wallop. Should we show our disapproval at bad parenting?

What about parents who think its normal for children to scream and cry if they can't get their own way?

rushnowt

There are some bad parents, granted, but having said that i think we're all aware that most kids know just how to work a situation, if they start misbehaving in a crowded area to get their own way it's usually because they know mum/dad will become flustered as they're trying to concentrate on what they need and also aware that others are paying them unwanted attention which can make the situation even more embarrasing, kids tend to know that they'll usually end up getting what they want just for an easy life. How many books have we read, programmes that we've seen that suggest just ignoring bad behaviour how can this be achieved in a supermarket etc, when you feel that all eyes are on you :-/ ???

Poppy9

I have to say in 9 years I have never suffered a tantrum episode. If my child is getting on my nerves in the shop wanting this and that a quiet hiss threatening the withdrawl of pocket money or a treat is enough to induce good behaviour.

I have always rewarded good behaviour from a young age. Initially by the use of a reward chart. All for simple things like sitting nicely at the dinner table, getting dressed and not sucking a dummy all day!

Dummy's are my big no no. I always said I wouldn't use but gave in after 3 weeks of no sleep. Was always strict and only allowed at sleep times until little poppy was toddling and would go off for a sly suck! Never let her walk around in or outdoors sucking and still had problems getting off her. Age 3 gave up dummy and sucked thumb. Many letters from Santa helped stop this habit 2 years later.

jellyhead

but it would be easier for the parent to stand firm if they didn't feel that the rest of the shop were staring ... unless of course the parent is beating the child, in which case it's okay to poke your nose in methinks.

i wouldn't stare if a child was throwing a tantrum or screaming etc. but i admit i glare at parents who allow their children to tear around supermarkets. yesterday i had a toddler come tearing around a corner and knock something out of my hand all over the floor. there was a cleaner nearby and she made sure there were no parents around (there weren't, god only knows where the parents were, this kid was small enough to be in a trolley and certtainly not big enough to defend herself if somebody had decided to take her away) and she actually grabbed the kid by the arm and told her she was doing a very silly and dangerous thing, and that if she ran into a trolley it would damage her face and she would be ugly and wonky-nosed forever! she sent her off to find her mother at a sensible walking pace. i was gobsmacked, but i suppose the cleaner gets tired of cleaning up messes made by toddlers who aren't being cared for, and they can be sued if a child too young to know what a wet floor sign means slips and breaks their leg. in such cases i think the parents need a reminder of their duty - their children should be with them.

but tantrums i think should be ignored in other peoples children, it's nobody's business unless the parent is being violent towards the child.

rushnowt

Jellyhead, I completely agree with you on the subject of interferring if a child is being beaten or badly treated.

Having said that, I remember coming out of my local Tesco's one night around 10.30 ish with my eldest daughter, when we witnessed a woman kicking a young child who appeared to be about 7ish who was on the floor, well i have to say i saw red, and a approached the woman and asked what she thought she was doing the child was crying. and i bent down to pick her up, well u've never heard such abuse, i was an f-ing this and an f-ing that, and then this lad appeared out of a car and came over threatening me and telling me to butt out. In the end i just got back into my car and rang the police and gave them the full details and car registration number.
When i got home and told my husband, he went absolutley ballistic, telling me i could have been hurt even killed and never to be that stupid again. I just wonder if this is the feeling of most people these days and we are living in a walk-away society.
I have to add I never learned from that experience, but thats another story ::)

jellyhead

that's horrible :-(
maybe next time you could just rush back into tesco and ask the management to intervene?

having said that i got short thrift at mcdonalds when i asked the management to intervene when a bunch of teenagers were chasing the big issue seller into the toilets, calling her a terrorist and threatening to behead her

rushnowt

OMG, there's some pretty nasty people out there. >:(

I know what you mean though about asking the store to intervene, I saw a baby strapped into a car seat alone in the summer and was really concerned as it was really really hot, so i went into the shop that the car was parked in front of and told a staff member, they immediatley called for the manager who duely walked around the store asking if anyone had left a baby in a locked car outside, a good 10 mins passed without success, obviously this had caused alot of concern with the other shoppers who were also asking around the store, has i kept an eye on the baby out side, eventually this snotty nosed young women walked out an over to the car, so i set on her, what the hell do you think your playing at, this child could of suffercated in this heat, i'm sure you can imagine, well the cheeky git flew at me, with the kind of language i could only imagine louts and rugby palyers know (no offence lads) lol. and started kicking my car and threatening me.
Well i could of and wanted to wipe the b!oody floor with her, but i knew it wasn't a good idea, besides the fact that i was more concerned about the baby's welfare.
There are just no words for some people. (well there are, but i'm a lady) ::)

jellyhead

you don't have much luck with strangers do you - shame the store manager didn't call the police