DMP Mutual Support Thread (Part Three)

yellowmonkey

Hi

What we all pay , I believe , is relative as we all earn different amounts and have different size debts.

I wish the people who critise people in debt could just read loopy's last post then they would realise we are not wasters and want to take responsibility for our actions

Top post Loopy

rayday2

I think anyone who criticises for debt is foolhardy you don't know what life can throw at you. I wouldn't risk it!

But this board has quite a bit of high opinions on what you should and shouldn't spend. I am pretty much of the approach so long as you take responsiblity and the pitfalls etc then its your decision.

loopylu36

You are right rayday - the main DFW board does have very strong opinions in terms of spending when in debt and when I first started posting, I was a little taken aback by some of those opinions. I thought that just by admitting my debt and asking how best to go about repaying it would give earn me some credit,(no pun intended ) but that wasn't necessarily what I got. For most of us the DMP route is intended to give us some quality of life back and I don't think that to that end, anyone should be vilified for spending £20 a month on Sky tv - it may be the only entertainment they get (getting a pay per view movie is a lot cheaper than the cinema at £7 a pop!) or getting their hair cut to cheer themselves up, or god forbid, "accidently" finding a bottle of wine in the trolley when they get to the checkout :rolleyes: Life is for living and we must all be careful not to lose sight of that along our (in some cases VERY long) journeys. Everyone here is great and a major support to one another without judging- at the end of the day, we are the ones living with these debts and anyone who isn't hasn't earned the right to judge. It must be lovely to be perfect and never make mistakes don't you think?

Angel_Cake_3

Thanks to all you guys - such wise words. I too like loopylou am unable to put my debt on my signature at the moment - that will come soon enough! I think the last 4 weeks have been so intense and up and down with firstly having the infamous LBM, getting enough courage and strength to call Payplan and then posting here (one of the best things ), one step at a time.
It is tough and from having a good day on Friday to then all I can think of today is the DMP and what post and messages will be waiting for me when I get home, this is sure a big rollacoster.
Just reading all the posts have made me feel better. Also, it is great when you read a post and you can give some good constructive advice back to people.
Thanks guys !!!
Angel Cake x

Marru

Hi

Why should you put your debt into your signature? I had mine when I started here but then took it away and started to concentrate on more positive things. Perhaps you could make up a silly challenge on saving some extra pennies for your F&F (even if it is just something really little per day) and then celebrate that progress in your signatures?

I am sorry to promote my thread constantly but I just updated it and there are so much fun to get stuck in that I can't help but put the link here again: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=767513

Have fun!

Marru

Desperate_Partner

Hi
This my first post, I have been lurking for a month or so and have found all the comments so interesting. If it hadn't been for this thread I would not have found out about DMP and Payplan. My partner paid his first payment yesterday after a terrible 6 months from when I found out about his debt, it is really difficult when you find these things out, maybe this is the wrong place to post but so many of you are hiding this from your real life which must be so hard. I just wanted to make my comment, also thanks to all of you for your posts I have found them so helpful and lets me know there is light at the end of all this in 2013!!

katyw

Hi Desperate Partner and welcome to the thread.

Everyone is great on here, and a problem shared is a problem halved.....and all that. People cheer you up when you're down and help you vent when you're a bit peeded off (mainly with creditors I might add!). I love em all. :j

sam89

Wow, what amazing posts this afternoon:T ! Jvic 28, I bet you didn't expect to get such fantastic posts in answer to your question.

I'm just constantly amazed at the way everyone supports each other on this thread. Whenever anyone is a bit down or beating themselves up about getting into debt in the first place someone is there to cheer them up and boost their confidence. Yes, we have all made wrong choices to get here but it's from now on that matters and we are all facing our problems and sorting them out :rolleyes: .

Marru, I totally understand what you are saying about debt in your signature but I feel at present I need to have it in mine. Firstly because this is the only place I am honest about it and also because seeing it reduce each month is a measure of my progress. I've spent 20 years not knowing (and not wanting to know) how much my debt was so even working it out was a big step for me .

Loopy, your post was fantastic. If your looking for a job have you thought of counselling? You have a very wise head.

Big hugs to all my DMP friends (that's everyone on the thread, by the way) for being a brilliant bunch of people :grouphug: .

Sam,
x.

Marru

sam89 wrote: »

Marru, I totally understand what you are saying about debt in your signature but I feel at present I need to have it in mine. Firstly because this is the only place I am honest about it and also because seeing it reduce each month is a measure of my progress. I've spent 20 years not knowing (and not wanting to know) how much my debt was so even working it out was a big step for me .

You have a fantastic progress in paying off your debt. I am running my spreadsheets diligently at the moment. I have two debt figures - the official by the creditors and the other one without any interests and other charges added since the day of me first contacting them. The first figure is going up and the second is going down very slooooowly. So baby steps for me at the moment.

Toffee_Penny

Hello er me again never mind looks like I'll be sticking around for a good while! What lovely posts to read after another worrying day, feeling a bit better but just hate the sickly feeling being in debt gives you. I want to get it all sorted as soon as, I hate all the not knowing but I only sent the letters yesterday so I might be getting a little impatient don't you think? :rolleyes:

Came home from work today to find a letter from my bank loan telling me they had been informed from my old bank that I had cancelled my direct debit and they now would like new details. Boo hiss - What grassers the old bank are!

I only just paid the loan on the 26th so thought I wouldn't hear from them until it was passed the due date but oh no, the banks all must be connected or my old bank has sussed what I am up to. I'd better start running

It is so nice to feel able to pour my heart out on here, its refreshing to read others posts and I hope you don't think I'm bad by saying this but I do think there are people worse off then me and still managing to post on here with a smile and good advise and that to me is very reassuring knowing that there are others, complete strangers typing away at their computer helping others with their own dilemma by sharing their experiences.

I couldn't tell people at work, they would just be too judgemental and ask me how the hell I got myself in so much trouble, thing is I don't know myself; was it down to greed? the fact credit was made too available to me at the time? or the fact I just kept plodding along hoping one day I would get it sorted but just didn't know how to.

I am so glad I watched GMTV that morning, can't even remember what I checked their website out for, probably the lose 5 stone in a week diet but I am so glad I clicked on their site and found this one. I would have still plodded along unhappily struggling to pay debts and swim through the brown stuff every month. Thanks to you guys I found the link to CCCS and asked for help. I now see new people joining here every day and wonder just how many poor souls are out there struggling under a mountain of debt just like we are/were?