Just feeling the need to say this out loud

Needcash_3

bountiful wrote: »

You know leaving half at home won't work.... better think of a better plan.
Actually, something someone said on my thread was that my budget wasn't very generous for miscellaneous spending, and that maybe I could allow myself say £20 a month for pocket money. I haven't quite worked out how to do that yet ..... I might need a separate purse for that money. I have a friend who uses jam jars for each of her budgeted allowances......I don't fancy that myself. The thing is that trying to avoid spending makes you want to do it more doesn't it, like you said, same as any addiction. From reading the posts it doesn't seem to matter much whether your problem is with a £200 blow out or a £2 one - it's the behaviour that matters - which is back to where you started on this thread. I used to think that people who had large incomes could not possibly have problems - I mean, when you are on Benefits it feels like more money is the solution to all the problems. Not saying for one moment that having more money (or even enough money) or a better income etc is a bad thing - just, well, it doesn't solve all the problems, does it?! My annual income is about £12,000 - so £20 a month on 'miscellaneous' does seem a bit unavailable. But it gets spent anyway - so why not make a realistic allowance for it. Dear me, I am rambling - sorry!

Yes Bountiful, all true ... it's the beahaviour that I need to sort out ... and the more money I earn, the more I spend ad infinitum !!! I think I have to 'unlearn' a lot of my habits and beliefs, e.g., looking good on the outside solves how you feel on the inside, spending and acquiring 'stuff' makes you happy, keeping up appearances is more important than admitting how you feel ..... spending money is the habit that i've got in to to fuel these beliefs .... I want to tackle this more than the debt .... will let you all know how I'm getting on. Would be great to hear how you are too xx

Ellidee

Needcash some great posts. Have you had a look at ceridwens thread 'Simplifying Life' ? It's very inspirational and may help to alter your 'mindset' IYSWIM . HTH

Needcash_3

Ellidee wrote: »

Needcash some great posts. Have you had a look at ceridwens thread 'Simplifying Life' ? It's very inspirational and may help to alter your 'mindset' IYSWIM . HTH

Will do ... thanks .... I'm hardly keeping up with myself at the moment, never mind the Jones's !!!!

Needcash_3

I soooo can't wait to be fully solvent ...... a family member just failed to meet a financial promise that they made me ...... and when I tried to ask them about it, they completely shut me out .... then went on to talk about the 'bright side' of the situation ... without acknowledging that they'd let me down, nor apologising for the fact that I'm now in a bind, trying to make up the deficit myself. The worst thing is is that I NEVER usually ask for financial help ..... was lulled in to a false sense of security ..... they told me that they would help me and positively encouraged it !!!!

AM SO DETERMINED TO BE DEBT FREE AND HAVE THE FINANCIAL FREEDOM TO DO WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT !!!!!!

(Sorry if this is too "woolly" for some ... it's just that I can do the practicalities of money management, it's the emotions around it where I struggle)

bountiful

Hiya - just checking in and read your last post - have to say that today, for some reason, I suddenly felt really down about the fact that my debts (although not ginormous) are going to take me about 9 years to pay off - by which time I will be 62 yrs old and it all suddenly seemed, like, what's the point of even trying - sigh.... but like you, I really want to be debt-free - and aiming for that does seem to give me a feeling of control and focus - sort of empowerment I suppose. Like the tag on MSE 'consumer revenge' - I love that!
I got my food shopping .....saved some money on BOGOFs - then threw in a bar of chocolate to fill the emotional hole

lilac_lady

There's nothing wrong with treating yourself when you feel low. The difference is that now you've had your lightbulb moment, it's more likely to be a magazine or a bar of chocolate instead of big numbers on your credit card. Enjoy your small treats and don't feel guilty.

squeaky

Here's the link...

Simplifying Life

And this one too on a similar note - especially the blog mentioned in the first post:-

Living small

And finally - January's Post of the Month...

sammy_kaye's £100 a month food budgetting

Lots to read, I know, but hopefully you'll find something to take from them.

Needcash_3

bountiful wrote: »

Hiya - just checking in and read your last post - have to say that today, for some reason, I suddenly felt really down about the fact that my debts (although not ginormous) are going to take me about 9 years to pay off - by which time I will be 62 yrs old and it all suddenly seemed, like, what's the point of even trying - sigh.... but like you, I really want to be debt-free - and aiming for that does seem to give me a feeling of control and focus - sort of empowerment I suppose. Like the tag on MSE 'consumer revenge' - I love that!
I got my food shopping .....saved some money on BOGOFs - then threw in a bar of chocolate to fill the emotional hole

Hey Bountiful, nice to hear from you .... well done for staying on top by only buying chocolate .... could have been much, much worse eh, chin up .... x

Talking of empowerment, I'm feeling more empowered today. A much more reliable friend has lent me the money that I mentioned yesterday, so I'm basically going to not cash the cheque from the family member ...... some of, and not all of the money they promised is no good to me anyway. Major lesson learned to myself there ...... made me EVEN MORE motivated to improve my cash flow and not have to rely on ANYONE to bail me out ... be it friends, family, loved ones, or institutions :j ..... You live and you learn, we're all works in progress eh ?

Gemble

Hey! It's my first look over here in DFW and I just wanted to say how moved I was by this thread - a great vibe. Some very interesting and inspiring stuff. I wish you all well and will be sending my little Mummsie over soon

Gem

pennypuppy

Good luck needcash and you are right about the emotional support. Its so important.