Just feeling the need to say this out loud

Needcash_3

Gemble wrote: »

Hey! It's my first look over here in DFW and I just wanted to say how moved I was by this thread - a great vibe. Some very interesting and inspiring stuff. I wish you all well and will be sending my little Mummsie over soon

Gem

Thanks Gemble ... hope you stick around over here and you (and Mummsie) contribute to my little thread-ette every now and then :beer:

MissEyre

What an interesting post-I have had a bit of a realisation moment recently about why I have spent money I don't have in the past, and think it comes down to growing up in a household where there wasn't much to spare-now I have a good salary, I justify buying stuff on the basis that 'I work hard, so I deserve it'. Only a few months back that I realised that I deserve to enjoy the money I've earned...and the best way of doing that is by repaying my debts as soon as possible, and then knowing that what's left each month is mine. Funny that it's taken me the best part of five years to work it out!

irishwexford

What an intesting post. when I was a child we were poor and I felt people were looking down at me. We were well fed but not too many clothes. I remember a girl at school speaking to me and her friends called her away saying 'she's not one of us'. I always felt I needed to buy clothes to keep up with everyone else and it gave me a buzz but now I have replaced the buzz of shopping with the buzz of saving and cutting down on waste. I still tend to have an inferior complex but I now realize I have a good brain so I don't need to look good all the time to be appreciated.
Best of luck:T

Needcash_3

MissEyre wrote: »

What an interesting post-I have had a bit of a realisation moment recently about why I have spent money I don't have in the past, and think it comes down to growing up in a household where there wasn't much to spare-now I have a good salary, I justify buying stuff on the basis that 'I work hard, so I deserve it'. Only a few months back that I realised that I deserve to enjoy the money I've earned...and the best way of doing that is by repaying my debts as soon as possible, and then knowing that what's left each month is mine. Funny that it's taken me the best part of five years to work it out!

Thanks MissEyre ..... logically I know that I'll get satisfaction out of reclaiming the 'disposable income' after paying off the debts .... I'm impatient though !!!! (Tantrum child strikes again as mentioned earlier). Putting down how I feel about it here helps though. Was even thinking this morning that after a year, maybe I could take out a smaller loan and use that and the savings that I'm building up to pay it off to pay off the bigger loan .... I'm so crafty sometimes .... think I need to just chill out and get some perspective

HairyHandofDartmoor

I think the op has got to the heart of why people overspend. Different motivations for everyone but it is all based on emotion responses.

People don't make logical decisions about what to buy, it is all linked to how they feel and their self esteem. Lots of people spend to make themselves feel better about themselves (I deserve it) or to impress other people (if my clothes are more stylish people will think I'm a better/more interesting person).

If I spent logically and not based on emotion then I am sure I would not be in debt now. I just wish I could stop having emotions sometimes and behave more like a robot when it comes to money! :rolleyes:

Needcash_3

bountiful wrote: »

You know leaving half at home won't work.... better think of a better plan.
Actually, something someone said on my thread was that my budget wasn't very generous for miscellaneous spending, and that maybe I could allow myself say £20 a month for pocket money. I haven't quite worked out how to do that yet ..... I might need a separate purse for that money. I have a friend who uses jam jars for each of her budgeted allowances......I don't fancy that myself. The thing is that trying to avoid spending makes you want to do it more doesn't it, like you said, same as any addiction. From reading the posts it doesn't seem to matter much whether your problem is with a £200 blow out or a £2 one - it's the behaviour that matters - which is back to where you started on this thread. I used to think that people who had large incomes could not possibly have problems - I mean, when you are on Benefits it feels like more money is the solution to all the problems. Not saying for one moment that having more money (or even enough money) or a better income etc is a bad thing - just, well, it doesn't solve all the problems, does it?! My annual income is about £12,000 - so £20 a month on 'miscellaneous' does seem a bit unavailable. But it gets spent anyway - so why not make a realistic allowance for it. Dear me, I am rambling - sorry!

Have been pondering on this since you posted it and you're right Bountiful .... have been running out of petrol a day early since having my new budget in place .... usually end up going in to 'next weeks' budget for that .. have taken a tenner out of my 'socialising' budget (£20 per week) to cover that. Going back to the emotions ... I often feel that I can't cope and a failure with money, but you're right, an unrealistic budget is gonna set me up to fail. Once I 'feel' like I'm covering things and coping, then the rest tends to fall in to place too. . .

bountiful

Well done! good re-adjustment on the petrol/social budget. I sat down and calculated that it is cheaper for me NOT to get a bus pass this month - and I topped up my mobile with just £5 instead of £10 to see how far I can stretch it - and I am going out tonight - friend paying for my ticket, bless her - and I am only taking £5 so I just cannot overspend!
I had a letter from Halifax this morning saying that my application for a credit card (0% balance transfer etc) was agreed - sign and return etc - and my thought was - I can use that new card to fund my impending home move - for which I need about £1300 (months rent, months deposit + fees + bank refs) and then pay it off as fast as I can before I transfer the balance from the Post Office credit card (which is why I got the Halifax card. I know you will identify with that line of thinking - yes - easy - get a smaller loan, use it to pay off the bigger loan etc etc - there are certainly ways of playing around with borrowing and switching - but you have to be sure you won't be tempted (?) to spend it and then end up owing even more money. Financial Toddlers are very good at getting that old immediate gratification thing and then - tears before bedtime!

Needcash_3

Well done you for the bit of self reflection .... it's hard to break thought processes like this when they're so ingrained and rehearsed isn't it?

Was looking through your thread, am so pleased for you that you're starting to get a handle on things since your first post.

I like your phrase 'Financial Toddling' ..... I only just learning to walk.

Hope you have a good night out - what a nice friend to buy the ticket for you - anything good?

x

bountiful

Yes - it'll be brilliant - a performance of Rapunzel by a company called Kneehigh Theatre who do really community-based, relevant and fun stuff. We have unbooked seats 'in the round' and I am really looking forward to it. "with characteristic fun, puppetry, music and animation, Kneehigh brings you this acclaimed production of loveable rogues, magic pigs, evil brothers and of course enduring love!"

What I am not looking forward to is having to get up at 5.30am to get the bus to work for an early-start shift tomorrow! But I'll deal with that later!
:cool:

Primrose

Having a separate money purse for "pocket money and treats" sounds like a good idea, because I can imagine how spending your £2 on candles and sticky tape depressed you. It's as if they were saying "Ha, Caught you! You haven't overcome your spending problems yet!". If you can get to the end of the week/month with any money left in your Treat Purse, transfer it straight away to a savings account where you can't get your sticky fingers on it. Gradually you will see your savings mount up, and once this happens hopefully the motivation of seeing this money grow will help to encourage you to keep on track.