'Home alone' - what age?

Suzy_M

ktj wrote: »

stay 'home alone' with a friend watching videos whilst we go to classes.

Send your son to his friends house to watch them?

splishsplash

It's really hard to say, isn't it? It depends a lot on the child, as others have said.
I know my ds (who is now 10, the youngest of three), wouldn't like to be left on his own after dark. He'd start getting nervous after a while, and would be wishing for company.
I can leave him happily during the day for a couple of hours (Wii + Zelda = bliss), but evenings are different. Especially winter's nights when it's dark early, and can be windy and stormy - I would hate to think of him feeling vulnerable and alone (but then again, he's the baby of the family, and we all spoil him horribly!).
If you think he would be happy alone at night, then I guess it would be fine. I would find it hard to relax, I think, for another year or two - where my own ds is concerned, I mean.
Good luck with your choice!

pulliptears

DD is ten and a half and she is left very occasionally for an hour at most. She has strict instruction not to answer the door etc and she is very sensible.

Wouldnt leave her for much longer though.

naughty_10382

I would say if you do leave him, make sure he knows not to tell anyone who phones that he is alone - something I remember my mum telling me all those years ago!

ktj

Thanks to everyone - much food for thought. Very, very helpful to hear all of your views. :beer:

silvercar

Remember to allow for whether the child really feels comfortable being left on their own. The first time we left my younger son at night (after he had been nagging to be left for months) he changed his mind before we had got the car started!

anna2709

It is a tough one that we're discussing at the moment!
We have 3 DS, one 14, one 13 and one 10. Only recently (past six months or so) we have allowed the eldest to be home alone for up to a few hours at a time (with ground rules - no friends in, if he goes out he has to lock the door, mobile to be on at all times etc). Our dilemma now is with our middle child - he doesn't want babysitters, could he not just stay with his brother...but I know how they fight when I'm around so not sure how they'd be without me! Also while I think a 14 year old is responsible enough for himself, I'd never forgive myself if there was an accident or something and he had to live with the guilt of something happening to his brother for the rest of his life.
Anyway, back to the OP!
Personally I feel 10 is too young for a child to be left on their own, but you know your child better than anyone else so go with your instinct.
As a compromise could your DS not go to the friend's house rather than the friend coming to yours? I'm sure the friend's parents wouldn't consider it babysitting (I know our house is always full of friends for hours at a time!) and you could return the favour.

katiejones

cazziebo wrote: »

I checked this with Social Work a few years ago (South Lanarkshire at the time) and was told there was no age to leave a child on its own, but you could not leave a child in the care of another who was under 16. Therefore, legally, children under 16 couldn't babysit. Of course no way of checking whether the person who answered was speaking from fact or opinion..

Hi we are in Northamptonshire, i enquired about this roughly six months ago and we were told that the above applies if looking after other peoples children - but an under 16 can look after his/her siblings.

Sarahjovi

I leave my 12 year son for an hour or two, however, this has been built up over the last couple of years from 10 mins. Quite often when we go out we will come back and he will still be sitting in the same place, not having moved off the sofa (playing a game or watching a video).

My daughter is 9 and I leave her for 10 mins whilst I take my son to school, but I wouldn't leave her any longer.

If I leave them togther its no longer than an hour.

I'm lucky my mother in law is always happy to babysit and I still get her over if we're going out for an evening or if I'm going to be longer than a hour!

Sarah:D

sticher

I have 3 DSs (now 14, 11 and 9) and have been leaving my eldest home alone since the age of 10 - only for an hour or so during the day at that age, although he would have been happier for longer. I also now leave all 3 at home together on a regular basis.

A couple of weeks ago I had to leave my 9 year old alone for the first tiime - he was really keen, but I was a bit concerned. I kept ringing him (and he rang me once, lol) (he was alone for about 4 hours in the morning) and he was fine.

Although my boys do fight if I am around, I have told them that if they ever fight while I am out, they will all have to come shopping, etc with me in the future - that is enough of a threat, lol (so far!).

Only you know how your children will cope/behave.