'Home alone' - what age?

pollyanna24

I found out a while ago that my dad used to leave me and my brother at home while he went to pick up my mum from work while we were asleep in bed.

It probably was only for about half an hour and I can see the dilemma, i.e. didn't want my mum walking home in the dark, but if either of us had woken up to find him gone, I probably would have panicked.

Horace

I can remember when I was 9 being given a front door key, I used to come home from school on the bus and at that time both my parents worked. My mum would usually arrive home about an hour after me, I was quite sensible and would make myself a drink and do my homework. I also knew that if I had a problem then I could pop across the road to a neighbour (our road at the time was v.quiet)f= - I can remember visiting her once when there was a thunderstorm as I didn't like being in the house by myself but that was the only time I went to her.

This was in the days before mobile phones too. I guess that if your son is sensible and doesn't open the door to hundreds of chums then there is no reason why you can't leave him on his own for an hour especially if he has a mobile phone and can contact you. I think you need to trust your instinct as you know your son better than most. Why not leave him home alone for a trial period to see how it goes? If it doesnt work out then you can revert to a babysitter.

3KIDSNOMONEY

Difficult one. My daughter is 11 and we leave her alone in the house for perhaps at the very most an hour. If you think about it a child goes to secondary school at 11 and has to be given some form of independance. When we go out i make sure that she knows not to answer the door, but to answer the phone and that she has a back door key and i am contactable on my mobile. Her younger sister is 9 and a lot more mature than her older sister and i have in emergencys left them both together, although i wouldn't leave a 9 year old alone. Sometimes it is just 10 minutes whilst i nip to the shop.

14 seems a bit unrealistic.

Only you know your own child and can make the decision. But the OP sounds like they would be quite safe leaving their child alone.

robnye

we have only just started to leave my 12 yo, but not at nighttime and only during daylight for max of 1 hour, as her 1 or other of her older sisters are generally around it isnt a problem,

tanjatucker

If you trust your boy to get on fine then why not save the money for a babysitter?!
I was left alone at home from the age of 7, often also looking after my younger sister. We had front door keys, nice neighbours, books and toys and loved having the house to ourselves in the afternoons. When I turned 12 our parents occasionally stayed away over night on the weekend and that was fine, too. Never needed any babysitters and I remember feeling a real sense of responsibility towards my parents' house while I was 'in charge'!

belfastgirl23

I'd say there are no hard and fast rules. Do you have a neighbour who could pop in a few times over the evening just to keep an eye? Or could you drop back a few times to be on the safe side? Partly to give him a sense of still being under supervision just in case even the most sensible kids can do daft things. But probably mostly so that you know things are being looked after.

I guess I'd say give it a try and see...

sarah*a

My StepD has a good head on her (most of the time) and we started leaving her 'home alone' from 10 and we were never more than 5/10 minutes away. We started leaving her as it was preferable not to have her moan constantly while we were food shopping

However, we certainly wouldn't have let her have friends over when she was on her own (and still wouldn't now - she's 13) - they seem to loose all measure of common sense when there is more than one of them.

Only you know your son really and are the best judge - but he sounds like he's fairly intelligent (intelligent enough to ask whats the difference of him being at village hall and you at home :rolleyes:) but its trial and error. Build it up - take the monitor and check back regularly, then reduce the check-ins and then drop the monitor when you feel you are completely happy.

Totally agree with the poster who said it's the kids who get no responsibilty who are the wildest - some of StepD's friends are coddled ridiculously and have no common sense or control at all.

jo03

I think it depends on the child some children older end may have a mental age much lower in which case it would be inappropriate to leave them home alone whilst others may have sensible heads and would know what to do if an emergency situation arose.You know your child best at the end of the day.Mine is almost 14 I leave him home alone most days but my mum is only doors away should she be needed.He gets home from school most days before I do so he has about 30 mins of alone time.He knows the rules about having friends over and the consequences of abusing the rules.I always make sure he has near to hand all the phone numbers he needs just in case ( so far not needed).Its worth a try if it works fine if not then back to the drawing board.

hobo28

It all depends on the age. My daughter is 11 but even at 10 i'd be happy enough to leave her alone for short periods. I'm certain she'd be ok for longer too but my own fear as a parent stops me from doing that.

If your son's sensible and you trust him then why not.

cazziebo

Agree with everyone depends on age - and that changes! I would have happily left my 12 or 10 year old alone but not together! I would have left my 14 year old and 12 year old alone together. Since they turned 15 and 13 I wouldn't dare leave them in the same room without expecting world war three to break out! Three years on not much has changed....