being bullied by my 15yr old

strawberryfields

please try to involve someone with this get them to listen, i lived though this with my brother for many years, he got worse as he got older and stronger, i moved away from home in the end as i couldn;t cope with it, became virtually recloused when living at home, it will be afecting your daughter more than you can imagine and i don;t mean to put pressure on you about that, i suffered with sever depression still affects me today and i became withdrawn from friends and anything enjoyable as i felt i needed to be at home incase anything happened-alot of the time it was to call the police when things got too bad, ss where involved but whenever my brother went into care my dad would let him back home things would be fine for a while and then get worse then ever before. steph1986 i know where you are coming from i have done the same value something above myself in my case my pets, but i do know where you are coming from and i am sorry you are living through it. my past has wrecked my life in so many ways but trying to look forward now and its not easy i hope you both get things sorted and get some hekp, the help both of you need, and op don;t forget your daughter in all of this x

lynzpower

I agree, I think that he IS a risk, both to you and to your daughter younger.

If she is being physically harmed by him, put simply you have to tell social services that you simply cannot guarantee the safety of the younger one and they must do something , and pronto. Ask for a NEW INITIAL ASSESSMENT NOW.

I also suggest that he might have had a psychological response to the car accident, after all , near death experiences etc, can shape our worlds somewhat, and I expect that this could have something to do with it. Did he ever have any therapy?

Have you considered as a family having group therapy? then all parties can bea heard, how they are affecting each other and so forth might be a good idea, talk it over with your social worker AFTER you have told them what living at home is really like.

wissychraddle

Contact your local Police Station and ask to speak to the Domestic Abuse Team. They can offer the best advice. Trust me, Police have the most training!!

Remember it's called Domestic Abuse for a reaon, because there doesn't have to be violence! It can be controlling, finanical and any kind of mental abuse.

Trust me the DA Team for the police should be able to offer you the best advice there is.

I have searched the internet for advice on the matter but didn't find anything that could really match it.

Let me know how you get on.

CJ

belfastgirl23

I think you should consider a parenting class. I know that immediately people think that's saying you aren't a good parent and I'm not saying that AT ALL just that you are a parent who is in a difficult position through no fault of your own and that you need support. I'm assuming from your post that you are parenting alone which is tough at the best of times. I know people who have been through these courses and they are ordinary everyday people who have had some problems with their kids. And while of course parenting is intuitive to some degree, like anything there are simple tips and tricks that you might not necessarily know but that might work with your son. You do need to try to figure a way around this because he'll be an adult soon and you don't want him being like this with a future wife or children.

going2die_rich

Throw him and tell him to never come back. Sometimes you need to be tough to prove he's wrong. See just how long he surives without you. If he wants a roof over his head he can show you and the family respect.

going2die_rich

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

I think you should consider a parenting class.

If she can't get him to lift a finger in the house, whats the chances of her being able to convince/get him to go to parenting classes???

culpepper

Stephb1986 wrote: »

my car is costing me 26k so its worth alot more to be honest i'll wait my time and get my revenge. he thinks he can get away with it but im not letting it drop this time.

stephb you can go to the police station and show them your black eye. That way they have a record of an injury. you dont have to follow through with charges if you dont want but they have to record your visit and why etc. My OH was beaten up by his brother years ago and we did this. Never needed to take it further as he was so scared that we had reported it,he never touched him again.
If anything should happen to your car, it will be linked to him if he has already suggested he would do this so that is worth mentioning to them too.

Angua2

Hiya. Really sorry to read about what's going on for your family. Just wanted to offer some links to organisations you can contact for help/support. (I'd contact SS only as a last resort...apologies to all the wonderful SS people out there, but my experience is that you are too few and too far in between...)

Take care. There is help, advice and support out there, but I know that it can be exhausting to have to search for it. My sense is that a strategy for the whole family might be needed.


Organisations for families:

ParentlinePlus
Parentline Plus is a charity offering information, courses and support to anyone parenting a child, parents, step-parents, grand parents and foster parents. Freephone help line 0808 800 2222.

Or more specifically, their page on teenagers.

Citizen's Advice Bureaux

Parenting.co.uk
Parenting.co.uk is a one stop help and advice centre. Written by Parents for Parents. The site covers all the key areas relating to bringing up happy and healthy children. In our directory find days out, music teachers, sports teachers, clothing and many more services.


Organisations for children/young people/teens:

ChildLine
ChildLine is the free national help line for children in trouble or in danger. Also produces leaflets and information on child-related issues. Children and young people can call the help line on 0800 1111 about any problem, at any time - day or night.

NCH
Children's charity providing a wide range of support services to families, young people and children including sex education for parents and teens.

The Trust for the Study of Adolescence
Formed to help improve the lives of young people and families by carrying out research, distributing information and raising awareness of the needs of young people. "TSA is a UK charity focusing exclusively on work with teenagers and young adults. It aims to help close knowledge and skills gaps. Find out more about some of our current work below, or use the categories (top left) to explore the whole website"

YoungMinds
A national charity working to promote the mental health of children and young people and to encourage the provision of comprehensive child and adolescent mental health services.

wendy_ann1983

I thought the same thing as some of the others, pack his bags, but this may have the effect of making him worse so please be careful if you go for that idea, would he join the army cadets? I've seen some rough kids go through this and they have come out different people, having male role models and people that won't stand for his behaviour

Angua2

going2die_rich wrote: »

Are you some sort of idiot? Mentally challanged or something?

Why would you even want anything to do with your brother after that? Revenge is all well and all, but if you have a brother that would threaten to tourch your car, and has hit you properly (not play fighting), then I think you are better off cutting all ties from him and living life as having a brother who died long ago.

I'd just like to suggest that heaping verbal onto someone who's already suffering emotional/physical abuse seems a tad in-something-or-other... As such a bright spark, I'm sure you can fill in the rest.... :rolleyes: