Weekly Flylady Thread 28th January 2008

lil_me

Ok I'll get this bit over with first. Due to me having a hissy fit with the course starting I am taking a few weeks off doing Flylady threads, I'll be around but feel I will be having what I call 'head up ar*e syndrome' for a few weeks while I get to grips with the new degree stuff starting, but you will be pleased to know that Pigpen has offered to look after you all for those few weeks for me (don't all run away now!! She isn't that bad!) So hope you are all nice to her in my absence.

serena, you're not hiding it you are putting it away, like I tell my partner and kids if they'd put it away they would know where it is!

Tia, I have a biting child too, well both do but one is worse, one time it was 'for no reason' according to the teacher, then another LSA was honest with me and said it was 'because a child smashed his toy over his head' well I'd have bitten the little **** aswell! My sons the same and lets bullying build up and up then deals with it his way, usually by kicking the living daylights out of the offending child, when it gets too much, but because of this it appears he's 'done it for nothing'. I took him to school one day and he said to the secretary 'Come in to kill Nathan' (Nathan = devil child at his old school) and proceeded to walk into class and try to strangle him........this was because for 3 weeks he'd tormented him, sneakily where noone had seen but my son came home with a foot print on his back so school denying it just made him worse. Again appeared like the other child was the angel. Good luck dealing with it, I've been there countless times as many of us have.

pigpen

lil_me wrote: »

Ok I'll get this bit over with first. Due to me having a hissy fit with the course starting I am taking a few weeks off doing Flylady threads, I'll be around but feel I will be having what I call 'head up ar*e syndrome' for a few weeks while I get to grips with the new degree stuff starting, but you will be pleased to know that Pigpen has offered to look after you all for those few weeks for me (don't all run away now!! She isn't that bad!) So hope you are all nice to her in my absence.

*eeeevil grin*

maralum

Hi all, I've only done a little flying today as I'm feeling a bit down. Am tired of being heavy.:( I'm not massive, but I was a size 10 three years ago and am now a 16. I'm only 5 foot 1 and I have 32HH boobs. I feel completely out of proportion.

My diet has really changed since DH came to live with us. I used to eat fish 3/4 times a week with salad or veg, but he doesn't like it, so I don't cook it anymore. In an attempt to feed my family, I've given up all of my lovely, healthy, tasty food and prepare the sort of carp that they love. DH and DS refuse point blank to eat good food, so what do I do? Do I leave them to fend for themselves? I tried this before, but they ended up eating slices of bread for dinner as DH hates cooking. I can't let my four-year-old eat just bread for dinner, but nor can I put up with feeling ungainly and unhealthy any longer.

Any fabulous, amazing ideas accepted!

ashbart

pigpen wrote: »

Tia.. now is your chance to complain BIG time about it.. say it was inevitable he was going to lash out in some way sooner or later and maybe now they will listen when you say he is being bullied by other children in order to prevent this in the future.. and while you do not in any way condone the biting you will deal with that yourself AT HOME!! You feel it IS necessary for him to defend in some way after all he HAS told adults and they have done nothing. I'd also ask if this other child has been disciplined about breaking DS's toy.. and just to really upset the apple cart.. tell them where the same thing is in stock and say you expect it to be replaced!! It will work.. if they see you are not a 'pushover parent' they won't be too keen to call you next time.. if you fuss and make a scene in school they do it all the more!!

If the other parent speaks to you say yes it was wrong.. and you will discuss it with YOUR child at home in private and thank her for her concern and you hope her childs [strike]arm falls off[/strike] injury isn't too severe... I have a biter too!!


DO NOT ever ever tell him off at school in front of the teacher or other parents.. that just makes the other parents think he is a hooligan..

Hi tiamai - I agree with pigpen, as per the above. Be strong and don't take any carp from the school. They are quick to say what your child has done wrong but not quick enough to realise their own mistakes in not dealing with the bullying, in the first place.

kdean

Ok after having a few months *off* flylady and moving house in the middle, I think I am now ready to start again. I am starting mid-week so will do the best I can to do a bit in the kitchen and then concentrate on the other rooms during the week. Kitchen is surprisingly bad as it is usually hubby's job but he has been doing overtime, I suppose this means I should really help him out with it!

I have not read the rest of the thread as I will be here all day and not get anything done so will say hi to everyone now and hope you are all good and hugs to those that need/want them.

Will let you all know how I get on but must be off now before I get sidetracked (again).

poohbear59

serena, he is on a low dose after having severe depression and being hospitalised about 15 years ago. I can't get him to go to the doctor so will have to wait until his review. I think he may be suffering from SAD. It was brighter here yesterday and he seemed a bit better.
tiamai_d. I hope you get things sorted out at school today. Put all the bullying incidents in writing to the teacher, I always found that helped. It sounds like it was the last straw for your poor son.

I feel a bit guilty here as my DH when not depressed does loads in the house (heavy stuff anyway like washing and vacuuming) and is too well organised, always knows where to find things.

shell2001

I have not moved from the chair since my last post:o , DD2 is still asleep so am making the most of it. Best get a wiggle on or pigpen will be throwing something at me.

Good luck with the study Lil_me, hope things calm down a bit soon:D .

The whole school and hitting etc issues are a nightmare. I know DD1 came home after being punched in the mouth and the little boy was not made to apologise. I know teachers/playleaders cannot see everything but I can see this little lad being a real thug in years to come. Plus DD1 was totally confussed about why he was not made to apologies (as was I ). Was school this complicated when I was there?? I dont really remember it like that. Good luck Tia. I need to get more assertive when these sort of issues crop up, another thing to add to my improvements list.

maralum - hugs sweetie. I know how you feel. The thing I have now noticed is I never really made the most of being slim as I didnt think I was but now I am fat I can see that I could have worn stuff I would have really wanted to and not looked stupid. Pigpen has been doing HHE (half hour exercise) sessions through the day. Could you not cook the same main food for all but have a jacket or salad/more veggies with yours? Without knowing what sort of food your OH and DS like its hard to say where to make changes.

torianut

Thanks for stepping in Pigpen
Hugs Maralum - I do often end up making 3 different teas - 1 thing for LO, 1 thing for DD's and something later for me & DH! It does get annoying!

lil_me

maralum, first of all that's not big, ok maybe the boobs but some of us are built like this (I can quish into a 34JJ) 16 isn't big either, well if it is I am huge. As for the eating, I have similar issues at home, my partner has more food phobias than the kids, but in the last month I have started changing things. I'll post now what I have done so far, which you might want to try or might not.

I do cook seperately for us sometimes but what I try to do now is I make the same main meal - say spicy chicken fillet with rice, then add the veg onto my plate, frozen veg is very handy for this or I buy fresh, blanche it and freeze in 'me size portions'.

Salads I have been trying to use the local green grocer and buying what I need as I need it instead of chucking a lot out. Half cucumbers and couple of tomatos will last a few days, lettuce I still sometimes throw out.

I've been involving the boys more in cooking, deciding on meals etc which has encouraged them to try a few things (DS2 has said he wants to try the steak in ale when I was preparing it to go in the SC this morning) as long as they try it, if they don't like it then fine with me.

Portion sizes, I think this was the biggest issue with my weight gain (apart from being ill) the truth is you can have anything (as in types of food) and loose weight, as long as you don't eat too much of it. My Mam just got me to order the Rosemary Conely portion pots for her (I think they are a rip off personally, can just use the mls amounts and any pot but she wanted them) to go with the diet book she has, which helps choose having the right amounts of each thing. When I worked it out we were having for example double what other people usually have when eating spag bol, then a massive amount of garlic bread, oh and the cheese. Oh and snacks, you buy the shopping, if you don't buy what makes you 'sin' you can't eat it.

I've lost just over a stone, have several more to go but getting there! I have this plan to loose 30lb more before I am 30, miracle? Probably :rotfl:

pigpen

Maralum.. your baby isn't that old so it is perfectly fine to be a bit 'cuddlier' than usual. Second.. (IIRC..) you are BF her aren't you? In which case bf only makes the INTERNAL bits go back to normal.. I kept ALL the weight until I actually stopped bf entirely. ALSO.. regards the eating thing.. I'd give DS exactly what you are having.. and if hubby wants to live on bread.. so be it!! He is big enough to deal with that himself. It is your job to teach DS proper nutrition and once he realises it is that or nothing they catch on pretty quick.. you don't want him to be as painful as hubby when it comes to food surely! I cook what I want and what I know is good for the children.. veggies, fish, meat.. it goes on the plate.. they eat it or starve (this was my philosophy from day one with child one!!).. Can you imagine what it would be like if I cooked a searate meal for everyone?! The only exceptions I make are such as when I know a child dislikes cooked veg.. in which case I'll keep some uncooked aside for them... which is better anyway. My hubby was veggie until last year.. we have been together for 18 years.. and now he is practically a carnivore!!!! I reckon it was due to his mothers REALLY crappy cooking he thought he hated certain things and once he had tasted them cooked properly he realised what they were meant to taste like and now eats anything put in front of him... and weighs 3.5 stone less for it!!! He ate ALL the time when he was veggie because he was never full.. now he has meals!!

I'd start with one day a week cooking what you like.. plus a few batches for you during the rest of the week.. and gradually increase it.. I'd tell hubby too.. why should you be the only one making changes.. he should respect you enough to make a few compromises too.. (I'm terrible in an argument can you tell?)