We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Is it fair?
Comments
-
Mr Cow, I think it was you that assumed the man in questions' wife sits around watching Jeremy Kyle all day and contributes nothing.
You seem to have a very agressive and dim view of women.
It also appears very sexist.
I very much doubt that this is a new user. I should imagine they are posting under a new id so as to disguise their usual id.
And no-one assinated anyone's personality. We merely pointed out that no, it was far from unfair given the circumstances, but perhaps the view that the op begrudged the mans wife any money is an unfair view.
Perhaps you would like to give the op a rosette or something for her opinions? :rolleyes:
I'm not assuming anything about anyone.....unlike some on here. I just put a hypothetical situation forward which seems to have irritated some of the "bash the girlfriend" fans here as it doesn't fit their convenient percieved assumptions backing up their own prejudices.
Perhaps you need to take a look at some of the assumptions you are making before pointing fingers in my direction?
"One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
-
January - if you read the ops first post it states that her oh is going through a divorce from his wife due to their affair.
I'm struggling to see where the op comes off as innocent in this
The OP is not innocent. Of course she is not! I would never have an affair with a married man - or a man in a relationship, so I don't agree with it but we don't know the circumstances - the exact circumstances. And I don't believe I have a right to judge her actions on what she wrote so I have difficulties understanding why anybody else feel they have such a right
She writes because she is now begrudging this woman whose husband she is with, what she is obviously entitled to in order to rebuild her life.
She believes her boyfriend when he says his wife didn't contribute anything to the marriage. Biased!!
I expect you can really respect the woman that slept with your husband behind your back and is now married to him, and also that she didnt begrudge you one penny from your divorce settlement, and that's wonderful, :T but the op doesnt feel that way.
You don't want to know the details of my divorce, believe me! divorce settlement? What divorce settlement? I made the decision that life is too short to hate people who are not worth it, to waste my time on those emotions! And if he was able to cheat on me once, he would do it again, he would do it to her too given half a chance! Good ridance!
I also believe in karma - it helps me tremendously!!
That is why she is getting flack.
No she is given flack because people can't keep their mouths shut when they really don't have enough evidence to give an informed and impartial opinion!
And for the record women and men that go after married people are a disgrace in my opinion. And yes it is nice to have some morals and be in control of my emotions, and if not going after married people makes me 'perfect' then i'm happy to take that label.
I totally agree with your last comment. And I appreciate the fact you have included men too because often it's women who get the blame. I have the same attitude as you - I have morals and I can control my emotions but I don't think I'm perfect and I don't think it gives me the right to judge the OP on the little info I have.
I reserve the right to judge those who give me enough information about their wrong doing though
LBM: August 2006 £12,568.49 - DFD 22nd March 2012
"The road to DF is long and bumpy" GreenSaints0 -
Mr Cow, I think it was you that assumed the man in questions' wife sits around watching Jeremy Kyle all day and contributes nothing.
Actually I think mrcow was merely offering an equally plausible alternative to the views put forward on the situation between the boyfriend and his ex.
I read it as a comment on the futility of making any comment regarding relationships that we have no information about except from the new girlfriend, which is unlikely to unbiased but is not necessarily false.You seem to have a very agressive and dim view of women.
It also appears very sexist.
:rotfl: Can a woman be sexist? I suppose they can :cool: Again I read mrcow's comments as examples of how (without knowing the whole story) it's very difficult to make judgements. Is this true? Is that true? Any number of scenarios could be true.I very much doubt that this is a new user. I should imagine they are posting under a new id so as to disguise their usual id.
Oooh lots of interesting comment in these last few sentences - let's visit them one at a time. First the OP says she is a lurker in her first post. Of course we could assume she is lying but.....And no-one assinated anyone's personality.
....the assumption that she is a liar could be said to be somewhat of an assassination of character. Also the fact that you have already condemned 'women such as her' without knowing one scrap of information about the situation. I find the OP's post to be biased and unfair to the ex-wife - and I find your posts as merely the other side of the same coin.Mr Cow, I think it was you that assumed the man in questions' wife sits around watching Jeremy Kyle all day and contributes nothing.
Actually I think mrcow was merely offering an equally plausible alternative to the views put forward on the situation between the boyfriend and his ex.
I read it as a comment on the futility of making any comment regarding relationships that we have no information about except from the new girlfriend, which is unlikely to unbiased but is not necessarily false.You seem to have a very agressive and dim view of women.
It also appears very sexist.
:rotfl: Can a woman be sexist? I suppose they can :cool: Again I read mrcow's comments as examples of how (without knowing the whole story) it's very difficult to make judgements. Is this true? Is that true? Any number of scenarios could be true.I very much doubt that this is a new user. I should imagine they are posting under a new id so as to disguise their usual id.
Oooh lots of interesting comment in these last few sentences - let's visit them one at a time. First the OP says she is a lurker in her first post. Of course we could assume she is lying but.....And no-one assinated anyone's personality.
Of course the assumption that she is a liar could be said to be somewhat of an assassination of character.We merely pointed out that no, it was far from unfair given the circumstances
We don't know the cirumstances, I'm inclined to believe that it is fair to support the ex for a short while to help her back on her feet but I don't really know the details. Perhaps she really was a lazy moo who for years has been mooching off her husband and despite many arguments and discussion she refused to change and he had enoughbut perhaps the view that the op begrudged the mans wife any money is an unfair view.
This is the most fair and honest comment I have so far seen you make on this thread. Edited to clarify - the "perhaps" part, she could begrudge money for legitimate reasons.Perhaps you would like to give the op a rosette or something for her opinions? :rolleyes:
I don't think mrcow is doing anything except point out that there are lots of circumstances and issues that we know nothing about, that judgement is something that used be used...well judiciously, and that we are supposed to be nice to all moneysavers, even if you disagree then courtesy helps.
I fully expect to have an attacking post in response regarding the state of my relationship, my bitterness and to have my post completely misquoted and mischaracterised. BTW to give you a head start I'm a woman too.:cool:
If I sound annoyed and tetchy then I most certainly am - I don't have a good deal of sympathy with the OP although I don't condemn her either (lack of information and all that) but mrcow is most certainly not deserving of the poor treatment she has received on this thread from certain posters.
As a general observation - those people who have a black and white view in my experience, never make mistakes and never screw up - it's always someone else's fault and never their own, and god help the rest of us mere mortals when we do screw up and need help and support.
Sou0 -
The OP is getting all her information on the relationship from one heavily involved source, whch may be entirely accurate or may not.
If the wife was at home, presumably with the support at the time of the husband, then her solicitor may be pushing for some short term spousal maintenance to enable her to get herself back on the employment ladder whilst still being able to keep a roof over her head.
If the husband would prefer a clean break then maybe he could offer her more of the assets in the marriage and no SM?No reliance should be placed on the above.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 352K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.2K Spending & Discounts
- 245K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.6K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.4K Life & Family
- 258.8K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards