Is it fair?

skyrocket

That's ok Paddy's mum!
I also can't tell you what I think about the men who do this either! :rotfl:
And I agree completely! When someone meets someone else in that way, then they have seen that persons measure, and it is rarely too long before history repeats itself!

Upsey_daisy_2

So if you are still with this man in 5yrs time and he does the same to you..Which no doubt he will, Would you just sit back and let him walk away and leave you broke?
Until you have been in this situation you have no right to say "you dont think its fair"
It isnt fair that you contributed in wrecking the womens marriage..Yes it does take 2 to tango but if you knew he was married why drop your knickers for him? :rolleyes:

liney

I for one think it's a terrible shame that this man will not have as much money as the OP thought he had, for at least two years anyway..:T

Upsey_daisy_2

:rotfl: :rotfl:

I hope his ex-wife enjoys spending it :j

LilMissEmmylou

isnt it to do with keeping her in the state she is accustomed to as a % of their married life? due to the fact it was he who was unfaithful and not her! I feel just right - no doubt she put a lot into the relationship even if not money wise, time wise and effort. Im with upsey daisy (great name by the way - does that mean shes not the only upsey one anymore though? lol )

mrcow

LilMissEmmylou wrote: »

no doubt she put a lot into the relationship even if not money wise, time wise and effort.

That's a big assumption to be making :rolleyes:

Another assumption could be that she's a big fat no hoper miserable nag of a bully who's too lazy to even get herself a job who sat on her backside watching day time tv everyday and that her hard working husband is best off 1000 miles away from her with someone who can actually make him happy rather than ruining his life?

Who's to say who's right (unless you actually know the individuals in question).

LilMissEmmylou

id say "generally" for a relationship to have worked at any point - both partys have to contribute. They got married and lived together... she clearly had to be contributing something emotionally or otherwise...

Soubrette

deemarie wrote: »

I decided to post on MSE as I have been a lurker of posts for quite a while and have always been touched by the community support and expert advice (no matter what the subject).

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

You obviously haven't read some of the more contentious posts on here

deemarie wrote: »

My post was NOT aimed at asking for your opinions on what I have done (albeit you are entitled to provide it, just don't expect me to listen to it).
I have no qualms about him paying 50% (she is more than entitled to that) I merely asked for advice on the maintenance he has been asked to provide bearing in mind they don't have children.

I assume she was not working with the agreement of her then partner, they chose their lifestyle of one working and one not, even if he was reluctant he still agreed otherwise he could have separated himself from her financially, so afaik he will be liable for a certain amount of support depending on the amount of time he was married to her, how easy she is likely to find a job etc etc.

As to the rest, I personally don't believe it is your responsibility to hold a marriage together, he had the affair, you were not married at the time. I also don't believe that people have affairs when they have happy fulfilling marriages (although isn't it oh so much easier to believe that when you are the hurting one )

Sou

poet123

The fact that his wife has recently got a part time job shows she is making an effort to earn her own money. I think that under the circs it is entirely fair that your BF maintain her for a reasonable period until she gets back on track,as she was the innocent party. Maybe your BF didn't want her to work or there were other circs, study etc. Anyway the good thing is that you can reassure him you would not want his support when he decides to move on again.....which he undoubtedly will.

mrcow

LilMissEmmylou wrote: »

id say "generally" for a relationship to have worked at any point - both partys have to contribute. They got married and lived together... she clearly had to be contributing something emotionally or otherwise...

Perhaps she emotionally blackmailed him into marrying her because she wanted to then not work so she could concentrate full time on her drinking habit and Jeremy Kyle addiction? You can generalise all you like.......some people are just terrible spouses/partners and the other half is better off out of it.

It's a blessing that they've had no childen.