Help - we feel like we've done everything we can, and we're still piling on the debt!

BlushingRose

boredofbeingathome wrote: »

You can get child benefit upto the age of 19- in some cases if he is in full time education.

Really??

Where would be go to find out if we can get it?

I get the impression that there is a reason why we can't, although I'm not sure why - some overpayment, or something...

BlushingRose

Thanks for your post Chav...my answers are in purple!

see my comments in an earlier post about getting ANY extra income from any job. Whilst you are not working are you getting working tax credits? And you also haven't put down child benefit?

Nope, we're not getting any form of aid at all..




Outgoing:

british gas electricity £22
home insurance £36:91how big is the house? we have a 4 bed detached and pay half of this.

It's a three bed semi

school fees £823 is this a monthly thing, or only term time? If term time could you ask them to pay this over the whole year not just in term?

I'm not sure. I will get himself to check

life insurance (him) £24:65What is this meant to cover? Can you see if you can get it cheaper? Also what benefits does he get from his work. Ie some employers offer death in service benefit which might be the same amount as you would get if this paid out. So may be able to get rid of this?

I'll have to ask him about this

council tax £90ask to pay over 12 months not 10

I'll get him to ring about this too

internet £17:98 (cannot change this as no other service provider where we live)
british gas gas £36
bank loan £443:70 (£14,799:20 - due to be paid off by Jan 2012)
mortgage insurance £43:68again was this taken out with your mortgage provider, you do not have to go through them and can be cheaper if bought of an independant reseller.

I know nowt about this either - my name not on it

mortgage £500:20
car loan £165:57 (due to paid off in oct 2008)so you will have this extra in just 9 months time!! Make sure when the loan is paid off that this is switched straight to another debt, not swallowed in the fritter black hole (been there done that:D :rolleyes: )

counting the months!

car insurance £16:82 (we switched from zurich at £40pm to i love eco)
storage box £19:98what is this for

This is for all the stuff that we can't fit in the house. Boxes of memories

portrait loan £34:22sorry does this mean you are paying to have a picture in your house ? If so then this has to be sent back to where ever,

No, it's a loan to pay off some portraits Himself got done of him and the Boy

milk man £16 If you use him for milk, what about for any veg is he cheaper than the grocer?
groceries £400 (we use a butcher and a green grocer for meat and veg and Asda for everything else) - we've been using a CC for this recently. Whilst I understand using local suppliers, if you are going to do this, then you still need to trim back. Use the butcher by all means, I use a good one too, and am sure I have less waste because I can get more than one meal out of most cuts I get. BUT with other stuff, then how about trying Lidl/Aldi instead of Asda for tins.

Also try going down a brand, ie from branded to asda own brand. It really saves a lot.

We already do this for some items but next shopping day (friday) we're going to do it for everything


With you now working, you can save money by meal planning and then only buying what is needed for the meal plan. I am sure you cook from scratch already so this is a refinement.

Nope, I'm not working atm - we already have a meal plan and buy accordingly

boredofbeingathome

BlushingRose wrote: »

Really??

Where would be go to find out if we can get it?

I get the impression that there is a reason why we can't, although I'm not sure why - some overpayment, or something...

I know because my son is 18 and we recieve it until his next birthday in march, the dept for work and pensions should have sent a notice to you about his child benefit and that may have a number where you can contact them on. If you haven't been recieving it for some reason they can also backdate it to the last time and clarify why you have not recieved it. The same thing happened to us when my son went to college, as i thought it just happened automatically, when we recieved the notice for our daughter i realised they hadnt been paying it and original notice must have been lost. They were very helpful and money was backdated straight away. Hope this helps-i have been looking for the no but couldn't find it.

boredofbeingathome

Its also worth a try with tax credits, it takes 5 mins and they can tell you straight away whether you will get some. There is a benefit entitlement checker on the boost your income guide, but some people have posted that it is only an estimate.

fc123

bunnygirl007 wrote: »

Hi

Is the £823 for school fees including ex wifes contribution or is the total to be found between you each month £1323?

I would ask again about a bursary saying you will have to withdraw your son if they cannot come up with some help. When my son was at prep school I ended up working there at weekends to help pay for his fees and after a while I started to hear many of the children were on various reduced fees (which annoyed me somewhat as their parents were obviously far better off than me), some with bursaries of up to almost 100%!!! When he moved to his next school he just missed getting a scholarship but I managed to negotiate another award that was means tested. I would say looking at your OH's salary he should qualify (mine is only a couple of hundred less) if the school has this sort of scheme, however I did notice that both parents income was taken into account on my forms and therefore I would think your ex's contribution will be too. Its still worth a try though - most schools do not want to lose pupils especially at this stage in his education and they're usually keen to keep as many as possible for 6th form.

I've now moved my son to the local comp 6th form - I just couldn't stand the stress of the fees anymore and I should have done it ages ago when he left the prep school but I was overprotective and afraid that being quiet and having come from a private school he would get bullied. He has settled in really well and says he way prefers it to his previous school! So if you're similar to me and keeping him there for simlar reasons, don't. They get on just as well at the local school.

Also at the end of the day if the school isn't willing to help you after paying fees for all these years is it really worth keeping him there?

Goodluck.

Hi we have similar problem with truly affording school fees.
Every time I fill in the budget calculator on this site...it is the one expense that stares at me...we are in a different situation as we live with no secondary school catchment.

OH 'phoned the school last year and just said "we can't do this anymore". I had also found out that other parents were geting 50% off fees and had way more swishy lifestyles than us.
We sent in salary details and receive 25% discount now.... only 8 terms to go (and she is deff going to state 6th form as above poster said...........
the stresssss:eek:

This site has really helped me save on (and be aware of) all the little things.
I do sympathise and if you keep posting, you'll get more into it!!

I think what is worrying you is the negative situation every month and the extra income from yourself looks like the key....you may have to edit your resume a bit to get some types of work though. Not lie! (before anyone says anything !) just temper down certain skills, experience etc.;)

The KFC thread is REALLY inspiring but I can't remember the title...perhaps someone could find it?

You are not alone...I have found this site very supportive just from reading all the tips etc!!

By facing it and writing it down you have made the first big leap and, though scary, some posters don't get their LBM until things are much, much worse....then making it harder to deal with.

mum2one

Child benefit is payable upto the child is 19 as long as they stay in full time education, has ur son applied for maintance grant for staying on:

the website re if your entitled to amy help is

www.entitledto.com

its a 5 min benefit check up - totally anamous x

boredofbeingathome

BlushingRose wrote: »

Thank you, I'm very grateful for this post.
The money issues have only become apparent to us recently (Nov 2007) and most of them had arisen without my knowledge and in the background. I feel, a little, as though I'm being forced into a situation that wasn't of my making - BUT - we are a partnership and plan to sort this out together.

Well done for that. My OH had problems which he hid from me for a while and its a shock when it catches up with you, we've all been ostriches and it always seems bleakest in january for some reason. I never had any debts except the milkman and the mortgage until i met my OH and it does test you at times and i can sympathise totally, as it always seems to be us women searching for solutions to problems on the MSE site. Although before they shoot me- some of the best advice i have read has been from the chaps- the enlightened ones!!:rolleyes:

mum2one

BlushingRose wrote: »

Right, here it is, we think - if there's anything else you need, please just yell?


Monthly details:

Incoming:

Salary £1,721.79
ex wife contribution to school fees £500
fee for column in paper £100

Outgoing:

british gas electricity £22
home insurance £36:91 is that for buildings and contents, def need to switch on renewal
school fees £823
life insurance (him) £24:65 -have you got any life insurance
council tax £90 - know its nearly end of yr, but may be worth asking next council tax yr if you can pay over 12 mths, (i know it will go up based on 12 mths instead of 10 - ud of paid £75 pm)
internet £17:98 (cannot change this as no other service provider where we live)
british gas gas £36 - is it me or have you not mentioned electricity
bank loan £443:70 (£14,799:20 - due to be paid off by Jan 2012)
mortgage insurance £43:68 (look at what it actually covers, you may find your already covered with life ins)
mortgage £500:20 -are you tied in - now would be the time to change
car loan £165:57 (due to paid off in oct 2008)
car insurance £16:82 (we switched from zurich at £40pm to i love eco)
storage box £19:98 may of been asked but what is storage box and do you need it
portrait loan £34:22 - how much longer have you got left on it, as your son was involved with photos can he help towards it
milk man £16 - sorry but got to go - buy from supermarket
groceries £400 (we use a butcher and a green grocer for meat and veg and Asda for everything else) - we've been using a CC for this recently
does that £400 include butcher and green grocer - seee old style boards, have store cupboard challenges, planning a weeks meals with whats in cupboard and top up if needed
credit card balances and payment per month

Total credit card balance was £8,500 on a capital one card with interest added for purchases & cash each month. We then took out an Egg and Virgin credit card and transferred most of the balances over to 0% interest accounts. These will run until feb 2009

Capital One £127:39
Egg £6,000
Virgin £2,400

what is the minimum paymnet, is there any chance you may of incurred credit card charges in the last 6 yrs - if so put in a claim
other occasional outgoings

telephone bill £60 a quarter - need to budget this monthly, you have not mentioned a mobile pho/ne anywhere
TV license £140
car tax £60 (per 6 months)
water bill £49 a month between april - nov is that metered or set bill
school lunch card £40
petrol £20 as and when (we're planning to work out how much a month)


This is all the spending that we do. We spend nothing on ourselves (I know how pathetic this sounds!) it doesnt, youve taken a massive step 4ward by asking 4 help xx
We don't get takeaways, go to the cinema, go to the hairdressers (that's me, not him) we don't buy anything really! We don't go out for meals...well, you get the idea!


HELP!!

Hi

I think most suggestions have been covered by others, as my other post, I would suggest youre son looks in2 the educational maintance grant def worth a try, also use the entitled to link,

You may find that ur entitled to tax credits, may put a brighter light on the subject.

Good luck. x

The way I think of other people on the forums are friends that I havent met yet x

babs

Blushing Rose,

Your first job to do in the morning is ring the child benefit office asap. My middle son is 16 and at sixth form and I didn't realise that they had automatically stopped my child benefit for him till recently. Once I realised I gave them a quick call, giving them the details of when he started the course and where he is studying and the benefit was reinstated along with all the back money from September.

Surfbabe

Looking at Salary I don;t reckon son will get Education Maintenance allowance as my OH earns about the same and neither of our children got it. You should still get child benefit though mine is £70 every four weeks for DD who is in 6th form.