Help - we feel like we've done everything we can, and we're still piling on the debt!

southernscouser

At the moment you are £368.92 short each month before you even pay your credit cards and take into consideration quarterly bills etc.

What are the minimum payments on all your cards and what are their APR's?

Are any of the debts secured to the house?

Are you not entitled to any benefits/tax credit type things? Check here for an indication.

When does the portrait payment finish?

You really need to speak to the CCCS who are a registered charity because at the moment you are only getting further into debt.

Lemon_Tree

just wondered how often you have to pay to put money on the school card. Is this for 'extra's' or is it for school dinners? If it's for the latter then are packed lunches out of the question? Guess the importance of the answer depends on how often you pay the £40.
well done for facing your debts and getting a handle on them

Don't want to put another nail in the grocery amount my by sister probably has less than £200 a month for 2 adults, 4 kids, 6 cats and countless rabbits and g-piggies. It's not easy but needs must and all that.

Good luck and i look forward to following your progress

dancingfairy

Firstly the food bill is not that huge. For everyone on here it is huge- but I don't think it is particularly extravagent. However cutbacks clearly need to be made given your situation and this is one area in which you can cutback -significantly from what people say. Good Luck with clearing your debt.

Karmacat

Hi there
Welcome to mse - don't worry about being defensive, I really admire you not only for posting on here but for recognising and naming the defensiveness, if you can do that, you can do anything, you're doing v well - and of course there's always more to do! Thats the thing about becoming debt free... anyway, my comments are below:

British gas electricity £22
home insurance £36:91
school fees £823
life insurance (him) £24:65 You also have the mortgage insurance quoted below, of £43.68 - somebody mentioned the two insurances above, have you answered that, sorry, I may have missed it.
council tax £90
internet £17:98 (cannot change this as no other service provider where we live)
british gas gas £36
bank loan £443:70 (£14,799:20 - due to be paid off by Jan 2012)
mortgage insurance £43:68
mortgage £500:20 are you on the best deal?
car loan £165:57 (due to paid off in oct 2008) not long now!
car insurance £16:82 (we switched from zurich at £40pm to i love eco)
storage box £19:98 don't know what this means, sorry.
portrait loan £34:22 you've explained this, all I can say is, aargh!
milk man £16 I haven't drunk milk for years, but don't they charge for delivery? You should probably be going to Asda for your milk as well. I know you want to support local people, but you've been slowly going under, *that* won't support them in any way.
groceries £400 (we use a butcher and a green grocer for meat and veg and Asda for everything else) - we've been using a CC for this recently As everyone else has deafened you with this, I will too - thats too much!!! Way too much!!! You may be using brands, so you'll have to cut down to the value stuff. If you want organic, you can grow at home, you just need a window box, or you probably have a garden - think how much salad veg costs!

credit card balances and payment per month

Total credit card balance was £8,500 on a capital one card with interest added for purchases & cash each month. We then took out an Egg and Virgin credit card and transferred most of the balances over to 0% interest accounts. These will run until feb 2009

Capital One £127:39
Egg £6,000
Virgin £2,400 Are these the outstanding amounts? What are the monthly payments?


other occasional outgoings

telephone bill £60 a quarter I know thats not huge, but still, check the tariff.
TV license £140
car tax £60 (per 6 months)
water bill £49 a month between april - nov
school lunch card £40
petrol £20 as and when (we're planning to work out how much a month)

The other thing about fuel is, are you careful in how you use it? I know this is going back to basics, but things like, only switching off the central heating when you're going to bed, and not half an hour before, they make a huge difference. Switching out lights that aren't in use, that kind of thing.

The other big thing is to boost your income - you know your original list of income isn't complete cos it doesn't include child benefit - so maybe you could find new ways to boost your income too. Dog walking? Ironing? Gardening? Bar work? There's loads of ways you can earn income that you may never have considered. In the "Ones not to miss" column on the right hand side of this and every page, there's an article called this "Boost Your Income: A full guide to bringing in extra cash" which does exactly what it says on the tin, everything from surveys that pay ten pence a time to the esoteric pursuit of matched betting. Take a look, really. I know it takes time - I'm only just getting into matched betting myself, it takes months to pursue everything that this website has to offer, but you can make appreciable changes.

Best of luck, and keep posting.

Adrasteia01

Hi BlushingRose,

I hate to have to say it, but at the moment you are living way beyond your means. From the look of things you couldn't afford to send your partner's son to the private school, but as he is enrolled I would say it would cause more harm than good to take him out now.

You really need to be earning more money, as well as saving on outgoings. I would suggest widening the search for work, even if it isn't necessarily the kind of work you really want. I have worked as a temp for most of the last 10 yrs and have taken it as a career rather than a means of filling gaps between jobs. There are opportunities for long-term contracts out there, but you will greatly increase your chances of finding work by being available for short-term positions. Also, if you are willing to take on jobs with little or no notice (such as by being informed the day before or the morning of the job) and accept most of the jobs you are given, whether secretarial/pa/admin/reception, then you will gain favour with the agencies. They really appreciate reliable people who will take on work at short notice! I recommend Reed or Hays if they are in your area.

Optionally, try looking for work outside of your comfort zone, perhaps in retail or the catering industry. If you haven't got that much experience in it, it is unlikely to pay as well as office work, but it will certainly pay more than not working at all.

Groceries you can cut down by a great deal. Live off what you've got and only buy what you need, or make simple meals that are inexpensive (pasta and rice dishes, potatoes, veg, chicken salads, etc.). Failing that, I know a few people who've saved for a deposit on their house by living off tinned soup & bread rolls, beans on toast and similar foods as they're very cheap to buy.

I find the best way of keeping my spending in check is to remind myself of just how many hours I had to work to earn it in the first place. If I go to buy myself a 30 euro top, I remind myself that that was 3 hrs hard work!

If you have a lot of things around the house you don't need, you could try ebaying them and check out quidco for cash back, and pigsback for rewards. However, they are not 'big money' in the same way that the school fees are. As others have said, I think you really need to try and find a way to bring those down!

Have you thought about selling the car to help clear your debts, or do you need it? I get by perfectly fine without one, but there is fairly good public transport in my area. It's actually surprising how few things people need in this world, there's a lot that we convince ourselves that we need when we in fact don't.

You're honestly better off doing what you can at this stage to stop yourself getting further into debt than leaving it until you're further down the line, as it will take time to pay off, and it will get more difficult the longer you leave it.

I wish you the best,
Tamara

BlushingRose

southernscouser wrote: »

At the moment you are £368.92 short each month before you even pay your credit cards and take into consideration quarterly bills etc.

My OH has just read this and it really brought him down.

I'm trying SO hard to keep him feeling positive, and now he's upset again

southernscouser

BlushingRose wrote: »

My OH has just read this and it really brought him now.

I'm trying SO hard to keep him feeling positive, and now he's upset again

Sorry I didn't mean to upset anyone.

But I'm not sorry if it makes you sit up and realise something has to change. It's not gonna be easy but it is achievable. Everyone on this board has been through what you are going through right now. And we've all come out the other side.

It's gonna need both of you to pull in the same direction. I know it might sound harsh but you can't carry on the way you are. Simple as. Something has to give.

But you've already taken a huge step by posting on here.

BlushingRose

Adrasteia01 wrote: »

Hi BlushingRose,

I hate to have to say it, but at the moment you are living way beyond your means.

I know this!


From the look of things you couldn't afford to send your partner's son to the private school, but as he is enrolled I would say it would cause more harm than good to take him out now.

This all happened long before I was in the scene. he's been at an independent school since he was 5. he is now 16.

You really need to be earning more money, as well as saving on outgoings.

again, I know this

I would suggest widening the search for work, even if it isn't necessarily the kind of work you really want. I have worked as a temp for most of the last 10 yrs and have taken it as a career rather than a means of filling gaps between jobs. There are opportunities for long-term contracts out there, but you will greatly increase your chances of finding work by being available for short-term positions. Also, if you are willing to take on jobs with little or no notice (such as by being informed the day before or the morning of the job) and accept most of the jobs you are given, whether secretarial/pa/admin/reception, then you will gain favour with the agencies. They really appreciate reliable people who will take on work at short notice! I recommend Reed or Hays if they are in your area.

yep, as I said above, i am on two agencies' books - both for temp work and for long term. My last job was mon 14th jan - 15th jan 2008

Groceries you can cut down by a great deal. Live off what you've got and only buy what you need, or make simple meals that are inexpensive (pasta and rice dishes, potatoes, veg, chicken salads, etc.).

We only have meat and veg type dishes, pasta etc

I find the best way of keeping my spending in check is to remind myself of just how many hours I had to work to earn it in the first place. If I go to buy myself a 30 euro top, I remind myself that that was 3 hrs hard work!

I can't remember the last time I bought myself a new item of clothing that wasn't using a gift voucher received as a gift

Have you thought about selling the car to help clear your debts, or do you need it? I get by perfectly fine without one, but there is fairly good public transport in my area. It's actually surprising how few things people need in this world, there's a lot that we convince ourselves that we need when we in fact don't.

Yep, I'm afraid we need it. It's a punto (and an old one) so downgrading isn't an option.

sorry, reading this back, it sounds more defensive than I meant it to

BlushingRose

Thanks Scouser,
I know people are trying to help, but I feel very defense myself, and protective of the OH :-(

It's just really hard to know where to start.
You're all giving us loads of help and suggestions, but where to actually begin?!

*sigh*

hopeless_case_2

ok so having read all this you can afford to live but not to send your son /step son to private school.Does his mother know? Could she help out more? He obviously lives with you so the money she pays is this maintenance or school fee money as really if it only for fees she should pay maintenance too. I can understand you not wanting to take him out of his school but you definately need a job to pay for this and still there will be no money for treats living etc. I hope he is clever and appreciates what you are doing. I am like you and need about £100 a week extra but not come up with much yet. Did make about £40 on Amazon in the last week though. Oh and i can shop for about £50/£60 do the trade down thing where you buy say asda,s own brand rather than say heinz etc it will make a difference.every little helps good luck.