Help - we feel like we've done everything we can, and we're still piling on the debt!

Needcash_3

BlushingRose wrote: »

Thanks Scouser,
I know people are trying to help, but I feel very defense myself, and protective of the OH :-(

It's just really hard to know where to start.
You're all giving us loads of help and suggestions, but where to actually begin?!

*sigh*

Well done for posting up your SOA and taking the advice 'on the chin'. I did mine for the first time a couple of weeks ago and I wasn't really ready for the 'onslaught' of advice .... was ultimately all good though. The fact that you're getting/ feeling a bit defensive is a good thing .... means that you'll be more receptive once this has all sunk in. Is really good to have a fresh pair of eyes pick over the SOA .... there are some real gems of info in here. Good luck x

BlushingRose

Needcash wrote: »

Well done for posting up your SOA and taking the advice 'on the chin'. I did mine for the first time a couple of weeks ago and I wasn't really ready for the 'onslaught' of advice .... was ultimately all good though. The fact that you're getting/ feeling a bit defensive is a good thing .... means that you'll be more receptive once this has all sunk in. Is really good to have a fresh pair of eyes pick over the SOA .... there are some real gems of info in here. Good luck x

*lol* yeah, 'onslaught' is right, but as you say, it's all good stuff although some we're not going to be able to do.
I have, sometimes, to make Himself get the paperwork out, like when we did the soa, but he finds it really hard and it brings him down. *sigh*
I think what I might have to do is re read the whole thread so far and note various stuff down. Last thing himself will want to do when he gets home from work is start again with all this stuff though :-(

belfastgirl23

Can your OH take a day off anytime soon and just hit this on the head? One day of pure misery to get it all over with and maybe promise yourselves a treat at the end of the day, whatever would be a treat for you (though ideally a cheap treat ). There are a lot of colds and viruses going around at the minute if he has no vacation time left

Seriously though, doing it in dribs and drabs is miserable, best getting it over with in one fell swoop. Especially from your POV too, it's horrible feeling like a nag!

boredofbeingathome

Hope the day has gone ok, and that you are able to let everything sink in ok, have a good talk with your OH and see if you can put some of the suggestions into practise.

BlushingRose

he finds it all very hard to talk about...

I shall do my best. I gave him a little list of things i'd like him to do - ringing around, really - the stuff I can't do.
I'm hoping he'll do them tomorrow for me.

fc123

southernscouser wrote: »

At the moment you are £368.92 short each month before you even pay your credit cards and take into consideration quarterly bills etc.

What are the minimum payments on all your cards and what are their APR's?

Are any of the debts secured to the house?

Are you not entitled to any benefits/tax credit type things? Check here for an indication.

When does the portrait payment finish?

You really need to speak to the CCCS who are a registered charity because at the moment you are only getting further into debt.

Hi..I quoted the above as SS (and all the others too) really lay it out as it is.
Hard to read but the sorting out does become easier each month......there is so much support and advice on here.;)

I only found this site 6 mnths back and really wish I'd found it 3 yrs ago....I think we would have accelerated our DFW plans much more.

I also found the following sticky really helpful.
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=145

Apart "from cutting back and earning more" I am really beginning to understand why we got into debt off and on over the years and pre-MSE me would have said stuff like "but we can't cut that, we need to keep this "etc etc.....................but this site and the posters on this board have really got me thinking in a totally different way about everything........about time @ 44 I guess!
My OH is beginning to get it too. We always justified certain debt as "for the children" in terms of their education etc and I can't go back 15 yrs and do it differently to see how things would have turned out.

Now,I don't justify any expense that doesn't fit into our budget......and it is really hard sometimes.
We continue with School fees as we are reducing our debt by a large chunk each month and they are not increasing our debt........I really sympathise with your situation.

Getting the budget to balance is the priority...the para under the budget planner if it comes up red is so true.

Good luck with your job hunting!:D

BlushingRose

OK, I have news...

The OH has just emailed me with the news that we *are* paying the council tax 10 monthly and not 12. He's asked if we can start paying that 12 monthly when the payments begin again this year and they're going to ring us back about that, they tell him.

Also, news re: child benefit. he's rung them too and the lady at the other end of the phone said that, yes, the child benefit had ended but that because he's in full time education we can have it back again *and* they'll back date it so, we're thinking we could get a little wodge of about £250 or so, and then a little payment each week :-)

mum2one

BlushingRose wrote: »

OK, I have news...

The OH has just emailed me with the news that we *are* paying the council tax 10 monthly and not 12. He's asked if we can start paying that 12 monthly when the payments begin again this year and they're going to ring us back about that, they tell him.

Also, news re: child benefit. he's rung them too and the lady at the other end of the phone said that, yes, the child benefit had ended but that because he's in full time education we can have it back again *and* they'll back date it so, we're thinking we could get a little wodge of about £250 or so, and then a little payment each week :-)

:T
Also worth OH trying tax credits.

Best bit try

www.entitledto.com

or co.uk, can neva remember, gives u a rough idea of what you may be entitled to x

Thats a bit of good news, x

TallGirl

That is great news about the Child Benefit please also make a claim for Tax Credits you can do it on like on the Inland Revenue Website. Really easy to make a claim and you never know if you are entitled.

awaytogoyet

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Hi Blushing rose

I think the biggest thing to realise is that every penny really really does count Yes the huge things like the school fees are big big chunks of income. But all of the little things really do add up. The storage box is only £20 a month but over a year that's £240. If you were to start eating on £200 a month that saves you nearly £2.5k over the year. I have to admit that this has been my stumbling block in the past, not realising that all those stray £10s really add up to something It is a complete refocus.

OMG, this is so true. Also, fc123'S post about a completely new way of thinking!
I remember almost 2 years ago, when I had my LBM. I had lost my very well paid s/e work 2 years earlier following an accident & really struggled to comprehend what use earning £5 an hour or saving the odd 50p here & there would be to me - the debt seemed insurmountable & only a lottery win or inheritance from an unknown very rich relative could save me!!!
The thing is every day that you don't earn £5 an hour, or save 50p by buying cheaper, or not at all - you are just adding to the debt, rather than eating away at it. I reckon I'm now almost half way to getting there - if I'd discovered this Board earlier, I'd probably be home & dry now!
I think once you've had the LBM, you need to break the debt down into 'bite sized chunks' - daily, weekly, monthly & subsequently yearly challenges. Once you do that, the mountain doesn't seem so steep & the value of all the little earnings & savings becomes much more apparent.
Like you, I registered with a couple of Agencies for temping or permanent work. To be honest - they weren't much better than useless! Unless you're 18 to 20 & they can fit you into a 'pigeon-hole' in terms of work experience - I think they really can't be bothered! I began to realise I'd be sitting around waiting for work for ever more. The decent(ish) wage I'd had one week was almost wiped out by not working for the next 3. So, I did anything & everything, from cleaning, to working in a shop, a pub, to dog walking, gardening............. - I could write a book! (now there's another idea!!!). In the eves, I click like crazy, ebay, Mystery Shop, batch cook, go to the supermarket to get the reduced bargains, plan meals, list the Boots & Tesco glitches for attack, make hampers for presents etc. etc. Most importantly, I read this site for inspiration, motivation & yet more great ideas from the wonderful people here.
Like Tamara, every time I feel like spending, I calculate how many hours I will need to work to earn that money - needless to say it's usually a great turn-off.
Do you know, though - I love my life now! I now know what's important in life, know who my friends are (& there aren't actually very many!), am no longer so judgemental, or obsessed with things that don't really matter - I feel blessed. It's turned a nightmare into an enriching, challenging & often fun experience. I often think if I won the lottery or got that inheritance now, I'd never go back to my old ways again!
And, I really don't say this lightly - there are still days I'm scared I may not get there, feel very sick & panic, what if...... - but I have a read here & usually get over it.

You will get there too Blushing Rose - but don't hold back & wait - just go for it now. Get work tomorrow - do anything - if it's really dreadful you can move onto the next thing - but pyschologically you'll feel you are doing something about it & practically 'every little' makes 'a lot'! Get that storage box & redistribute the contents - you will be able to fit it in somehow. Get the tax credits underway & anything else that's owing to you. Cut the food bill; get the books on Amazon; anything els on Ebay; Mystery Shop etc. etc. etc.
Best of all stay on this Forum for motivation and inspiration.

Lots of luck to you - you will be fine x