Oops! I've fallen off the OS wagon.....

mows

I don't know if it would help, but I made a sling for my daughter - I ordered a trendy one from one of the expensive baby websites, then sent OH out for big curtain rings and copied the design using an old curtain and sent the expensive one back unused - I found she was quite happy in there for 1/2 hour or so being carried round, so that I had both hands free to do jobs - I wasn't able to breast feed, but a friend of mine who could also used a sling and found that with some adjustment baby would lie in sling and feed, so she could still get jobs done.
I also found (and still do) that getting out everyday, even if only for a walk to the park (we have 2 dogs, so a daily walk is inevitable), gave me some thinking time to plan menus etc - I take a pen and paper and jot things down as since daughter was born I have the memory of a gold fish. when younger daughter would nearly always sleep / be content in the buggy, or i would take her out in the sling. I also used that time to make phone calls (cheap deal on mobile).
I don't know if it's any comfort, but all the mums I know with young children feel exactly the same as you, me included, although it's got easier as daughter has got older (she's 14 months now), as i've accepted that things are not the same as pre-baby, and that i would rather spend time with her, as i love her and she makes me laugh, then i would doing housework. The only mums I know who have immaculate houses are those who use some form of childcare then do housework when children aren't there, or who hire a cleaner...if there are particular jobs which are really getting to you because they're not being done then it might be worth considering a cleaner maybe for as little as an hour a week, as the peace of mind it would give you seeing a job done might outweigh the cost?
Finally, I've found that both Iceland and Farmfoods do really reasonably priced ready meals - sometimes 2 for a pound - I found that when daughter was v.young it was helpful to have some in - they are much cheaper than takeaways, you can bulk them out with a few fresh veg (or some frozen) and a jacket spud, and I felt they were a good compromise when I was having a disorganised day (or week...or month....)
Also, as a compulsive ironer, I've compromised and begun only ironing things on one side - I know this sounds daft to non-ironers, but I find this still gets out 99% of the creases, and means I can still fit ironing in, rather than not bothering.
I hope some of that helps...it is hard though - i went from career woman senior manager to SAHM self employed mum overnight and it's been a really steep learning curve (to use work speak!)...I try and look at it as a career change which requires the development of new skills (although haven't mastered the skill of functioning on ltd sleep yet)...as it took me a few years to build my work career, I try and think that it should therefore take me a few years to get the hang of this parenting / housework thingy, and that if i'd cracked it within a few months then i'm probably not doing it right...
Good luck.

frizz_head

Awww this thread has made me cry - that is the beauty of this site - loads of love and support from people who don't know you from Adam.

Remember lilibet, your feelings are perfectly normal, and admitting you are struggling and find things tough is the bravest thing you can do. Accept any offer of help - no matter how proud you feel.

Big hugs to you.:D

kiwichick

leonie wrote:

Now eighteen years on, my oldest daughter has cancer and when she is in hospital I stay with her for a good eight hours a day, then when I come home i'm knackered and I go the the chippy and watch telly. My house is a mess, much worse than when they were little. But this time I dont care, I spend my time with my kids and they are happy and lovely teenagers. So sod the house, and what people think of me, I know im a great mum cos they say I couldnt be better!

HUGS :grouphug: to you and yours Leonie,
Wishing you all well,
Al.

sallypurple

I look at my 3 DDs and they are the most precious thing in the world. Leonie I ache for you, I hope your DD is OK. I've just decided to chuck todays house cleaning plans out the window amd spend time with my girls instead.

nearlyrich

My babies are all grown up and away at uni, the house is very quiet and reasonably tidy, the washing basket is almost empty (except DD came home with her bedding last night)

I remember answering the door to a friend at 4.30 in the afternoon when my son was a small baby, I hadn't had a shower, dressed or even had anything to eat:o just changed nappies and fed him all day.

I had 2 close together (19 months) and I don't know what I would have done without my mum helping out, how people go back to work after a few weeks I realy don't know.

Enjoy your baby, get some sleep when you can, don't forget to spend some time with your DH too.

It will all come together for you, you are doing fine honestly.

Leonie hope your DD is feeling better, don't forget to look after yourself.:)

Murtle

leonie wrote:

Now eighteen years on, my oldest daughter has cancer and when she is in hospital I stay with her for a good eight hours a day, then when I come home i'm knackered and I go the the chippy and watch telly. My house is a mess, much worse than when they were little. But this time I dont care, I spend my time with my kids and they are happy and lovely teenagers. So sod the house, and what people think of me, I know im a great mum cos they say I couldnt be better!

Biggest, greatest of hugs :grouphug:

Wishing you and your daughter all the best

x x x x

Queenie

leonie wrote:

....

Now eighteen years on, my oldest daughter has cancer and when she is in hospital I stay with her for a good eight hours a day, then when I come home i'm knackered and I go the the chippy and watch telly. My house is a mess, much worse than when they were little. But this time I dont care, I spend my time with my kids and they are happy and lovely teenagers. So sod the house, and what people think of me, I know im a great mum cos they say I couldnt be better!

(((leonie & family)))

Ticklemouse

leonie - this made me cry. (((hugs))) to you and yours and I hope and pray all goes well.

Aril

Hi Lillibet
I know exactly where you're coming from. I swear I actually went into shock when my son arrived. I've always prided myself on being very organised and having a clean and tidy house. I'm a list addict and the arrival of a small person [even though he was very placid and a good sleeper] and the chaos that came with it I found very hard to cope with. In the end I made sure that the living room was always tidied up in the evening [even if the rest of the house looked like a bomb had hit it] and kept on top of the basics of housework by doing a bit each day like cleaning the bathroom. Things were probably a little easier for me because I didn't breast feed due to other complications so I was able to share the night shifts a little more. I used a nappy laundering service which meant I only had to deal with the wraps and kept a few of the more eco friendly disposables to hand when things got too much. My child was a projectile vomiter which caused me an enormous amount of stress at the time and an Everest high pile of washing- I learnt pdq to load the machine the night before so when I staggered down half dead the next morning all I had to do was press the button! We lived off pasta and anything else I could get from the kitchen to the table in under 15 mins for the first couple of months but things really do start to settle down and into some semblance of a routine after the first 3 months promise! My mum always said look upon it as looking after a pet- it is a baby animal after all and my MIL reminded me frequently that whatever stage you're at at the moment it will pass. She should know she's had 6 children.
Hope this is of help- if you talk to other mums you'll find that most of us found the same things difficult. It's the only job you're given that doesn't come with a job description!!
Regards
Aril

leonie_2

Thank you everyone, it made me do the happy tears when I read the replies. I'll shut up now as I dont want to hijack Lillibets thread :-)