Oops! I've fallen off the OS wagon.....

Spendless

They managed years ago cos as TM says they didn't have as much stuff! No settee with cushions to plump up and so on.Of course by the time they got to their 10th there was 9 older siblings to help as well-LOL.

My MIL used to have my eldest one afternoon a week and that was my time to get everything straight. I used to live for Thursday afternoons.

On an evening when hubby got home I would make him his packed lunch for following day but also a sandwich for me at same time for following day- cling filmed in fridge, so grabbing myself lunch was easy. Didn't have to stop to make anything. It's def not OS (or good for environment)but I also bought a stack of paper plates from £1 shop and served snacks off them just to cut down on washing up I was doing. If tea was something like toasties they were served on a paper plate. I got the idea from one of the Canadian aunts who has served up everything on a paper plate-including a Sunday dinner! I'm sure things never got that bad but when I came out of hospital after having youngest I found hubby had bought and installed a dishwasher-LOL.

Sarahsaver

*hugs* to you and you are doing a great job.
I relied on having a dishwasher, tumble drier, slow cooker, and used the odd ready made meal when littluns were babies. I kept up with the nappies til I ended up with 2 little boys both in nappies, that scenario lasted 8 months before I caved in! It is possible to breastfeed lying down and even asleep, as i used to do. You can eat whilst you are feeding, I used to get a big milkshake or an ovaltine and drink it whilst I was feeding.
Baked potatoes are a great 'fast food' when done in the microwave. You can always crisp them under the grill.
I used to get so damn stressed even when I was knackered I just wanted to do 30 minutes of housework a day to 'keep on top' of things. I hoovered whilst dd was in a bouncy chair, cooked with her in the chair whilst the dishwasher was on, all my babies liked the noise of the dishwasher, drier etc, it soothed them!
I was SO much more worried about everything the forst time around. The first one taught me the experience of having a new baby, and probably how NOT to deal with it.
I did insist on visitors doing a job for me even if it was put the kettle on.

Sweet_Pea_2

Oh Lillibet I feel for you. I know exactly how you feel. I was (and still am) a complete control freak and my house was always absolutely immaculate. Friends tell me now how they sniggered when they heard that I was pregnant, and wondered how old the baby would be before all my china and knicknacks got put away in a box.
I totally agree with moggins poem, my two DD's are now 9 and 7 and suddenly I'm pining for Cbeebies which they consider too babyish and realizing all of a sudden that they are growing up and you just can't go back. BUT, I get the feeling from other posts of yours that you are a bit of a Monica (like me) and sometimes in order to keep your sanity you just need to do some tidying up, or put the washer on, or a bit of ironing or anything just to feel back in control again. In times like these I made sure my DD was not hungry, clean nappy, lying somewhere safe where I could keep an eye on her and got on with it. I can well remember doing some ironing upstairs next to her cot whilst she lay in it crying, I think she was only about 6 weeks old. I knew she was OK, it was really hard to do but I felt like I had at least achieved something and no harm came to her. (She is 9 now and she can't remember it, honest! and I have asked her! LOL)

I think my best thing with DD2 was always making sure I had put something in the SC for tea, so we at least had a meal, hot and ready. Another tip was that if I hadnt had time to do any housework I at least kept the place tidy with the cushions on the settee all plumped up so it looked good even if it wasnt up to my normal standards, and whipped a quick duster over the TV and all visible surfaces, and shut all the other doors if I knew I had visitors coming.

When Spud is a bit older and you go to places where there are other mums like Mother and Toddlers, there are always other mothers who will tell you smugly how they pureed turnips and knitted their own nappies and taught their babies French from birth and how they have child prodigy's as a result, but ignore 'em 'cos they are lying.

And if all else fails and you are feeling a bit out of control have a good cry because it makes you feel better.

Gingham_Ribbon

I remember that feeling and it was completely overwhelming. From what I can remember, what got me through it was making up a rota with DH. We split the housework 50/50 for the first few months because I couldn't look after the baby and get it done. (Partly health reasons, partly just the usual baby won't sleep/get off my boob stuff.) We did as much housework as was absolutely necessary between us in the evenings. And the rest waited. And we had a LOT of takeaways.

One thing someone said on another thread was about taking it one step at a time. (Like the babysteps on flylady.net.) Setting a small attainable target to achieve once a day or once a week might help you feel like you're getting somewhere.

Good luck with it all! Even remembering the chaos is making me feel SO broody...

taplady

Hi You've taken me back to when my DS1 was born ! I definately wasnt OS then (wish I had been, frozen bulk cooking would have been a godsend!)

I remember still wandering around in my nightie at lunchtime everything seemed to take so long! but as everyone says things do get easier I'm afraid i was one of the control freaks who couldnt rest when the house was a mess(still am !) but I wish i had been able to sit back and enjoy it all a little more! i would love to go back to those times now as my two babies are growing up too fast (13 & 15)
I also remember it being nearly bedtime by the time we had dinner and DS1 was asleep then we would fall exhausted into bed only to be woken for feeding time a little later!

Youre not alone, everyone goes through it but most folks just dont admit it to each other we all pretend everthings hunkydory

I hope everthing settles down for you ! :A

Ticklemouse

And Lillibet - just think of the future, when spud is weaned and sleeping through the night ....... say in about 3 years time. Then the house will look like a bomb's hit it cos throwing lego the length of the house is great fun, as is tipping the toy box down the stairs. And don't forget, just when you've cleaned a room they will go in there eating a piece of bread/rice cake and what they don't want will mush very nicely into the carpet with a bit of apple juice Ooooh, a give it a bit longer and they REALLY know how to answer you back when you ask them to tidy up

By that time, you may have another spudlet to deal with.....what fun

Seriously though - it's all still new and you don't know what's hit you yet. By the time further spudlets arrive, you'll just get on with it. I know - MORE spuds? - Never again I here you cry!!

(Ooops - hope I haven't depressed you now )

foreverskint

Hi Lilibet,

Babies are all at once the most wonderful and difficult creatures in the universe.
You cannot cope alone, my mother and mil never had to but they forget so easily, and wonder why you haven't dusted recently and the urge to keep up a veneer of coping is just adding to the feelings.

Can I just suggest as a sufferer of PND and one who left so long to get treatment and help, that you have a look at this link, and truthfully answer the questions.

It wasn't until my health visitor tested me, after I had a complete breakdown that it sunk in how ill I was.

http://www.wellmother.com/articles/edinburgh.htm.

I am not for one minute suggesting that you have PND, but IF you have then the longer you put off getting help the worse you will feel.

I too had washable nappies and ended up using disposables, but I managed to breastfeed until she was over two, far more important, in my mind than the ecological nappie debate.

At the moment , as I look around me there is evidence everywhere that a baby is present. There is a clothes horse with sheets hanging on it, (todays playhouse), Marks on the once, pristine sofa, and stains on the carpet. There is a layer of dust on the shelves and still have some washing up to do.
But my Daughter speaks really well, is potty trained and is happy. So hang the housework, and throw a frozen pizza in the oven. When Spud is older, you will get back into it.

henhog

Hi Lillibet, I so know how you feel. I felt sure that DS1 was a 'Damien' child because he hardly ever slept and drove me mad! The solution - I went back to work, got a brilliant childminder and we all chilled. Childminder got him into a routine, I had back control of my life and my much needed independence and we (me and DS1) were really happy to spend time together evenings and weekend. With DS2 it was a completely different story - he is so relaxed and easy going, I work part time and am happy doing that. It really is a question of doing what ever makes you happy. Most importantly, make the most of it - it's when the kids are in their teens and you're in your nighty at 1.00p.m that people worry - when you are a new mom it's de rigueur!
P.S The other thing I found about going back to work was the fantastic support network of the other working moms!

AussieLass

MATH wrote:

You've got three choices as I see it:

1. Decide on a few very important issues, stick to them and let the rest go to pot if necessary.

2. Enlist as much help as possible.

3. Hit all your targets and kill yourself in the process.

My standards were high before we had the children and as each one arrived I set myself even more standards and targets. Not only did I need to maintain the house to pre-children perfectly pristine presentation and not resort to shop-bought meals but I now had to spend hours a day making sure my children did not know the shame of a disposable napple arround their botty and were the most happy, best dressed, most read to, sung to, having the most opportunities open to them kids in the world. I am even to this day the demanding, exacting, ever so hard working, striving for perfection, pushy parent

I viewed option one as part failure and I was too proud for option two and took option three:o . If you can let go, chill, and enjoy.

Ditto. I was crazy.

scuzz

You've had a bubby - give yourself a break!