Oops! I've fallen off the OS wagon.....

moggins

Hun if you weren't feeling like this after the birth of your first child then you WOULDN'T be normal.

Chill out!! Give your self a break and look after yourself and that baby first and foremost.

Listen to Aunti Moggins, when have I ever let you down.

Old styling can come back when you have more time.

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Jay-Jay_4

Hi Lilibet

What're you panicking for? Does Spud have rickets or scurvy? Is he sat in soaked nappies while crying his eyes out? Are you eating cold baked beans straight from the tin? Are you up to your eyes in debt, unable to afford heating or lights? Is your house a health hazard with rats and cockroaches? well?...?

So you're budget is off and your house is untidy. It's nothing that can't be undone and it nothing that you should be beating yourself up about. If you're going to be happier and less stressed by switching to disposeables for a couple of weeks then do it. You've still got all the stuff to get back into using your washables when you've got yourself back on an even keel.

It's lovely to think that you could be in the kitchen stirring a casserole while nappies were blowing on the line and baby sleeps peacefully in his crib but the reality sometimes is that you're walking around in tracky bottoms with greasy hair while the washing piles up and baby clings to you in between hourly breastfeeds. Hormones don't help either and can leave you feeling tired and unenthusiastic.

Have you made some time for yourself away from Spud and the house?

I joined the gym and found that an hour of excercise followed by a shower and some make-up WITHOUT a baby dangling from my boob left me feeling refreshed enough view things with a fresh eye and really put things into perspective.

Fay

I don't have any babies and I don't really have any practical advice, but I just had to say moggins that is a lovely poem/rhyme. Now Lillibet I agree with everyone else that you wouldn't be right if you didn't feel overwhelmed. As a psychologist I don't see any signs of postnatal depression from what you have said. Perhaps post baby blues but not PND. Just remember that you and your body have had a very large shock and you will take time to settle down...don't be too hard on yourself. And when any help is offerd...take it!

black-saturn

Your post bought back so many memories. When I bought my first baby home I was trying to be like superwoman by cooking wonderful meals, keeping her clothes clean and keeping the house clean. It all started to mount up so I ended up with a backlog of work I couldnt keep up with. So I decided that if I felt tired I would rest as much as I could and if I felt Ok I would do a job around the house. After a while I got into a routine and was able to do everything at once. Then when I had the second child my first one had only just turned 2 and was still in nappies full time. When I bought her home I had suffered loads of tairs and injuries during childbirth and I couldnt do anything so I had to just concentrate on the babies. One of the things I did start doing was having a once a week cooking marathon where I would cook a whole weeks worth of food and freeze it in tupperware dishes. Then all I had to do was defrost them and reheat them. It was hard work when the older one reached 3 and the younger one was one. It seemed like they were into everything and I needed eyes in the back of my head.

I couldnt cope with washable nappies all the time so I used to use them on alternate days. This would give me time to get them washed and dry ready for the next use. I couldnt reuse the same on the 2nd baby because the first was still using them, so I missed out on that saving. I could hardly keep up with the washing and drying of the clothes nevermind nappies too. I only breastfed the first one for about 3 weeks and then gave up but I breastfed the 2nd one for about 9 months. I've got to say though that the first one slept through the night at about 3 weeks old but the 2nd one didnt know the meaning of the word 'sleep' until she was about 1 year old.

But after a while it all clicks into place and every day that goes by gets a little easier. The main thing is to make sure you get enough rest.

frosty

Maybe you should ask family and friends to lend a hand,I was very lucky to have family around to help when my clildren were little, when my friends had their children I always offered to help with cleaning their house or taking the baby for a few hours,people dont always think to ask if you need help especially if you look as if you are coping but most friends will gladly support you if asked. Good Luck.

MATH

You've got three choices as I see it:

1. Decide on a few very important issues, stick to them and let the rest go to pot if necessary.

2. Enlist as much help as possible.

3. Hit all your targets and kill yourself in the process.

My standards were high before we had the children and as each one arrived I set myself even more standards and targets. Not only did I need to maintain the house to pre-children perfectly pristine presentation and not resort to shop-bought meals but I now had to spend hours a day making sure my children did not know the shame of a disposable napple arround their botty and were the most happy, best dressed, most read to, sung to, having the most opportunities open to them kids in the world. I am even to this day the demanding, exacting, ever so hard working, striving for perfection, pushy parent

I viewed option one as part failure and I was too proud for option two and took option three:o . If you can let go, chill, and enjoy.

sallypurple

Don't Panic!

Honestly it does get better! That being said the OSing that I find easiest is the Slow Cooker. This will help you feel more in control of what you are eating, and you can make loads at once. If your OH wont eat the same thing twice in a row (like mine!) you can freeze whats left.

Keep your chin up and don't forget to find time for yourself - you won't be any good for Spud if you're kn*ckered!

Penny-Pincher!!

Hiya Lillibet

Please dont worry too much. I agree with the posters above, but remember clearly what your going through. It is a very difficult time but I found little steps easier to manage and dont beat yourself up about stuff. Easier said than done though I know.

I used to do a top to bottom house clean once a week(had 2 beds/lounge/bathroom/kitchen)-taking DD around the house with me with her changing bag/bottle milk/breast/snack/drink for me etc or wait for OH to be there but tried to do on a friday or monday. I did one room at a time-this used to take about 20-30mins per room. Never did ironing-made sure most items were non iron and she had a few dresses for going out that needed ironing only. WM used to go on whenever the 1st feed of the day was and didnt have a DW. Would suggest a 20 min blitz daily to keep on top of everything-put things away/paperwork/sweep through etc. DD got settled into a routine quite early and consider myself very lucky. Think I recall reading your baby has an OK routine-if so, try and work around this.

We lived on take aways as we were not money savers then-so no advice offered as such there, but I hope if I had another baby this time would be different and would try harder. I only breastfed for 2 weeks as DD was so hungry and I was so sore, so this did make it easier-again if I had another I would perservere more! Think regarding meals I would use the SC alot or maybe batch bake/cook and freeze as much as possible.

I used disposables, so not money saving there. I would try cheaper brands or washables if had another :eek: and not stick to brand names as before.

Think your doing a grand job Lillibet-so keep up the good work :T

Penny-Pincher!!
xxx

jazzyjustlaw

I remember when I had my daughter I felt all out of sorts everything needed cleaning, houseplants watering, people wanting to visit meals needed cooking. I was lucky because my daughter slept through the night. I felt inadequate because I could not juggle everything. Its all about acceptance. Accept you feel how you feel, but also accept that you cannot do everything. Ask a friend for help. If you can't sleep in the night and are wide awake do a little job and then try again. Just listen to your body. I think you would benefit from a yoga class although this might be difficult if you are breast feeding unless you express some. Classes are only 1 and half hours and I think one a week would help.

Good luck xx

Edinburghlass_2

The best piece of advice I was given when dd was very small and I was panicking about something was, the baby won't remember

So your baby isn't going to grow up thinking I was put in disposable nappies or the house was mess. This time only comes once in the life time of your baby so get out and smell the roses, none of you will die from eating a ready meal or a bit of dust