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We are being evicted, some advice please...... the date has arrived......

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Comments

  • ampersand
    ampersand Posts: 9,692 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Well done bm and v(again!) -
    I have felt throughout that the decision makers should have first-hand experience of your daily life but equally felt Ryan should not be 'used' to this end and know you'd never countenance such an interpretation.
    I put that clumsily, so forgive me please - but you know what I mean and these people DO NEED TO SEE how Ryan is, even when kept safe with love and consistency in every aspect of his day that gives him such security as he relies on.
    Raising someone with Aspergers Syndrome is not just a matter of reading Mark Haddon's novel.
    CAP[UK]for FREE EXPERT DEBT &BUDGET HELP:
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    'People don't want much. They want: "Someone to love, somewhere to live, somewhere to work and something to hope for."
    Norman Kirk, NZLP- Prime Minister, 1972
    ***JE SUIS CHARLIE***
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  • neverdespairgirl
    neverdespairgirl Posts: 16,501 Forumite

    My hubby called after I left the post and I mentioned the road and garden situation to him and he said 'he did not see what I had to deal with daily so if I did not think it was right then we would no go for it'. Which is what I said really, he must of thought on things some more (although still maintains he was not in a strop about it!!)

    Sounds very sensible - you are the one who will be dealing with parking away from the house, and the children, so you are better placed to see any issues arising.
    So, as you can imagine Pingu is on the TV, it just started raining and the wind is howling.

    With my darling DS, it's Spot. In Hebrew. I could throttle the little dog, really I could (-:
    ...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.
  • neverdespairgirl
    neverdespairgirl Posts: 16,501 Forumite
    I have 2 broken teeth, I've never been able to get them fixed (2 years now) as I cannot get to the dentist,

    Can your OH not look after him so that you can go to the dentist? Take a day's holiday?
    ...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.
  • neverdespairgirl
    neverdespairgirl Posts: 16,501 Forumite
    I hate being wanty, needy and feeling absolutley desperate. It is not me, I can't even bring myself to cry in front of anyone over this as that makes me look weak and stupid.

    This is your Good Friday. But it is always followed by Easter Sunday. :A
    ...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.
  • blue_monkey_2
    blue_monkey_2 Posts: 11,435 Forumite
    Thanks NDG, yes I see what you mean. It used to be different as in my husband's last job he used to get quite a lot of time off in the week as some of his shifts were weekends. Because both of us were here we just did what we had to, dealt with Ryan as we had to - it was only as he has gotten older that more and more of his AS has become apparent. The behaviour and other bits I put down to me doing something wrong so I would never admit that there might be a problem. It was the school picking it up that made me see there must be something, otherwise they would have dealt with him in another way. My husband does not get a lot of holiday really, last years he used most of it early on for a big holiday (from his termination pay when he was dismissed, most we used on bills/debts and then we thought s*d it, we need a long holiday so booked one - using our CC vouchers of course and then put some money towards it) and now we are 'saving it' for when we move/get thrown out, he has one for tomorrow and he had one when I had to take the cats to the cat home. Because of the uncertaintwe face it seems a 'waste' to use a days holiday for something I do not *need* (tooth is not hurting - touch wood now). I guess it is hard to explain really. It'll be different when Ryan is at school and then I'll have time to deal with these things that have been put aside, it's not too far away that why it has not been an issue. where my husband works now he is on the road and could be 60 miles away come 'knocking off time' although he gets paid for the travelling so it is overtime it means we can never plan anything as such as he cannot tell where he is going to be from one day to the next. He is probably not going to be here for the Health Visitor today, little things that you cannot really plan for because of the job. but he loves his job and this is important too, you have to have a reason for getting up and going ou to work else you end up resentful (I think, anyway).

    A - no no no, I never thought this at all so please do not apologise, it was not interpreted this way and I, nor anyone else I am sure, felt you said something the wrong way so please get that from your mind.

    I don't think I am using him at all but I am doing what I am doing to ensure that his life is kept at minimal disruption. If he was in a wheelchair and they offered us a place with stairs and without adaptions then we would fight that too because he is my child and I want to ensure that he does not suffer through all of this. It is nt the kids fault that any of this has happened but at the same time I want to ensure tat they get the best. Such as the original letter from the doc to ensure DD has her own room so she had her 'safe' place from Ryan - the doc agreed to this, but again, another fight to get what is needed because of a health problem. Indeed the council originally said to me (you'll laugh at this now) 'you are not being needy you are getting what you need for your families need'. I bet she had wished this line had not crossed her lips now, LOL!!

    PS. Guess what is on the TV.....
  • nimbo
    nimbo Posts: 3,701 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    dopester wrote: »
    No disrespect to you but I can't help
    but think you do like to wallow in
    quite a few minor ancient problems.

    I've done volunteer work for the blind
    and have never heard any of them moan
    so much at the bad hand they've been
    dealt.

    It also seems you might have a dispensation for
    getting into difficult troublesome situations.

    I'm only saying this because other than
    that you seem to put your points of view
    across eloquently and intelligently - (more
    paragraphs please) which suggests you could
    embark on a happier future if taking a most positive
    outlook with a willingness to let go of past problems.

    Compared to some, your situations seems
    absolutely rosey.... a lot of hard working
    people are being ripped apart by debt... and
    as the effects of the credit crunch deepen
    many will lose jobs, be plunged in to negative
    equity, lose their homes... and well.. you've
    got a lot to be grateful for as you don't
    have half those problems. Nevertheless....
    good luck in sorting out suitable accommodation.

    this wonderful woman is being evicted by her mother, and has been told that she will not be given emergency accomadation until baliffs are on her doorstep, surely she is allowed to feel more than a bit stressed??

    Stashbuster - 2014 98/100 - 2015 175/200 - 2016 501 / 500 2017 - 200 / 500 2018 3 / 500
    :T:T
  • blue_monkey_2
    blue_monkey_2 Posts: 11,435 Forumite
    Oh no...... :o:o:o:o:o

    I have had a letter from my MP this afternoon..... remember I had emailed him telling him about the council not calling us back despite us getting 14 days notice and that there was no effort to help us despite them knowing this was coming for 5 months, etc.... it was a bit long winded thinking about it as the council had not called me back. :o

    He has sent me a letter today 'thank you for your email dated 2nd April, I have immediately forwarded a copy of this to x at EHC asking what may be done to resolve this situation.

    The letter is dated 7th (monday just gone). :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

    Oops!! Have I set a cat amongst the pigeons I wonder. I guess we will find out tomorrow.
    :rolleyes: :D;) :T :p :lipsrseal :tongue::grin: :idea: :whistle: :think: :dance: :shocked: :smiley: :laugh: :cool2: :rolleyes2
  • Mollymop5
    Mollymop5 Posts: 2,095 Forumite
    H, another lurker here.I've no practical advice unfortunately but just would like to wish you well on Thursday :)
    lost my way but now I'm back ! roll on 2013
    spc member 72

  • sasp
    sasp Posts: 1,117 Forumite
    Hi BM,

    I just hope on the day of the meeting that Ryan gives an all star performance and shows them one tiny hint of the stress you, your little girl, hub (and indeed Ryan himself) have to cope with as a result of his AS. These people who are making the judgements on how you and your family live really have NO CLUE what you go through every minute of the day living with a child with AS.
    It makes me soo cross that anyone should need to see for themselves how R is and somehow base a decision on your life about housing.

    You have enough to cope with simply trying to help R lead as 'normal' (for want of a better word) as possible.

    Most of us find the task of managing finances, debts, employment, relationships etc hard enough but to do this with your child having a disability (including Aspergers/Autism) is one amazing task and takes a very special/strong person.

    As for those posters who assume this is in any way an attempt for BM to relish in self-pity, as a sibling growing up and witnessing the hardship that my parents had trying to 'cope' whilst my brother lived in his curious autistic world, I dare you to walk a day in BM's shoes.

    Take care BM, and think on there are many people in your corner with large boxing gloves on!!

    shar xx
    "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"

    (How funny was Tommy Cooper)
  • vivatifosi
    vivatifosi Posts: 18,746 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Mortgage-free Glee! PPI Party Pooper
    Oh no...... :o:o:o:o:o

    Oops!! Have I set a cat amongst the pigeons I wonder. I guess we will find out tomorrow.
    :rolleyes: :D;) :T :p :lipsrseal :tongue::grin: :idea: :whistle: :think: :dance: :shocked: :smiley: :laugh: :cool2: :rolleyes2

    Hi hun,

    Sorry, but in your situation at some point the cat and the pigeons are going to make each other's acquaintance. Just don't see it as your fault.
    Please stay safe in the sun and learn the A-E of melanoma: A = asymmetry, B = irregular borders, C= different colours, D= diameter, larger than 6mm, E = evolving, is your mole changing? Most moles are not cancerous, any doubts, please check next time you visit your GP.
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