We are being evicted, some advice please...... the date has arrived......

JayneC

Hi B_M
Sorry didn't answer your query about court (had to go to bed lol!), but it's pretty much as described, you sit at a table, judge at the head. It's really best if you have a representative (doesn't have to be a solicitor - an advice agency worker would be just as good) as they know how to address the judge. In our case the judge asked some questions about why we had defaulted on mortgage (couldn't pay it on benefits!) and if we were contesting the eviction (we weren't) and then gave us 56 days notice to leave. I think it might be worth looking into whether you can have costs awarded to other party as you don't want to leave and have to go to court in order to be rehoused, so a bit unfair that you have to pay costs too, may be different if you'd done something wrong but you haven't.
Re claiming benfits, if you want to apply for Housing Benefit you must do it immediately as they won't backdate without very good reason, it's normally paid from the Monday following your claim. It's worth claiming even if your working as it's also awarded if you're on a low income - you don't have to be claiming other benefits (but they wouldn't pay if your landlord is related to you so not worth doing until you move).
To apply to Social Fund you have to be claiming Income Support or JSA.
As has been said previously you should be able to claim DLA for your son and carers allowance too. Ask your doctor or CAB.

XX

christabell

Hello Blue-Monkey,

When do you go to get Ryan diagnosed? Does he have a special diet or medications that you may be needing help with etc? Perhaps you could contact the CAB and they can check on your benefits applications Tax credits etc? The silver lining may be that you will get into a lovely HA home with garden, and then when you get the assured tenancy, you are not beholden to anybody ( family members can be the worst...).

If Ryan gets diagnosed with AS are there support groups that you can join, and is there any respite care for you and the rest of the family? Have you thought about applying for DLA or carer's allowance? If Ryan has a mobility problem, perhaps you can get a Blue Badge to help with parking.

You just keep posting on the site, and we will just keep on listening and helping any way we can.

orlao

Hi B_M

Just read through the thread.....

I don't know if you've sorted out what to do with your cats but if you haven't found foster care PM me with more details...I might be able to help, I think you mentioned some were "farm" cats?

I can't make any promises but I can try. I know how upset I would be if I had to deal with the worry of them along with all the other problems you face!!!

HTH

blue_monkey_2

Hi everyone,

Ah, i found some Roses in the cupboard left over from Xmas and I am getting through them. I feel sick now, LOL.

Thank you for that Jayne, I was worried there might be a big trial type thing so it was handy to have yours & MoT's help on what happens, I've probably been watching too much tv!! I am going to ask for 28 days to move out - I think I said that already - but who do I ask to come with me? Does it have to be someone legal? You said that there was someone from shelter in the court, do they all have them or do they have legal people there? Do I not call him M'lud or have I been watching too much TV? Now I have had some things explained to me I am finding it much easier to deal with.

Thanks also for the advice about housing benefit, I will get onto that as soon as we find somewhere. I think we might be over the limit as we are getting a higer rate Tax Credit at the moment (did not get anything for 8 months as they 'lost' my paperwork and they backdated it) so I think we will not get anything until that finishes in April. Still, if you don't try you don't get!!

I've not claimed anything for Ryan at all, I know it means more money but I had this discussion on another thread - I feel bad claiming because he does not 'look' disabled and I assumed that is what it was for. He does get through a lot of trousers, I got some joggers a onth back and he wears one pair a week and 2 have the knees though already where he is on the floor a lot. I read some notes a few weeks back on filling in the forms and then I realised he needed more care than a 'normal' child does of this age. I just assumed his behavior was what came with parenting boys!! LOL!!

Hi Christabell,

No, still waiting for dates to see paeds (they said a few weeks wait in early December!!) but I have had confirmation that the Child Developement Unit have discussed his notes from me & the school and that he needs to be seen, also that he has to be be referred to Speech & Language Therapy if I consent (of course I do, have left a message for the HV to call me!).

He does not have any special diets but I am careful of what I feed him because he was 'hyper' from an early age and I make sure that 99% of the food he eats is made by myself and he very rarely has pre-packaged meals as they are full of E numbers, even the breadcrumb coatings on some foods have additives, so I am careful and if I make it myself then I know what goes in it, it just means the food bill is higher (ah, and now having written this sentence I realise what DLA is for - Doh!!). He does not have mobility problems as such that he cannot walk but he will throw himself on the floor and refuse to budge so sometimes the buggy helps or he runs off so I cannot find him. I think it is fair to say that I have been 'spoilt' by village life and until recently and looking for somewhere else to live I did not realise this. If he runs off or disppears the people around here know who he is and that I am usually not far behind or they can tell me where he has gone, this is just the way we live. I 'lost' him this morning for 5 minutes at the school and was running around like a loon calling him while he played happily in a classroom - how he got in there I will never know as when I saw him and went to get him he was at the school gates, LOL, people will walk past and say 'he is over there' I am past being embarrased now and give a knowing smile but because everyone knows us/him it is fair to say he is safe. if he was to run out of the school gates the lollypop lady would nab him or people will wait with him and bring him to me, it is only now that I realise that if we move to another area this is not going to be the case and this worrys me that I have to make sure I have a hold of him at all times - something that I have not had to do at all living around here. I've never seen this as being something extra I need, just that he has been a pain in the butt, so I've not really felt it my place to claim anything. Likewise, I never realised I could get respite care.... but that would mean handing him over to someone else and having not had that support to fall back on it is hard for me to be able to do. I've always been left to get on with it and I feel if I hand him over I am letting him down (yes, these are personal issues I need to deal with) - even though he is under my feet and can be very demanding - I feel bad for wanting a bit of peace as I am a mum, looking after my kids is what I should be doing not given them to someone else to do it for me. However hard. Does that sound weird? I know these are my personal issues though and I have to get past them.

Because I only have my friends to compare with (no boys in the family, he is the first in the last 2 generations) I have never known him as different - just having a different personality. My friends boys spend the whole time together rolled in a bundle on the floor play fighting where as my son is nothing like this at all and does not like to get involved, he gets scared by them all fighting together in 'play' but he will lash out if he is frustrated. what I don't understand though, the boys can all fight, roll on the floor hitting each other for an hour until soeone gets hurt but the minute ryan hits one of them through temper they get all upset about it. LOL. Does anyone else get this?? Anyway, I think for me it is just that I have to keep him under frustration level and he is fine. He wanted something today and I said no and I walked to school with him hitting me - I ignore it if I am honest and do not register it - I still don't know if this is the right or wrong thing to do tbh - but I will quicken my pace and ignore him, he does not like that and I will explain that if he is nasty to me I will not walk with him.

Tbh I don't really go anywhere to warrant having a badge, if I needed it yes, but I don't really need one and I use parent and child where I can. I probably go out once every 3 or 4 weeks. I went out Friday for the first time since 6th December (I had to take a top back to Next!) but because I feel weird having him in the buggy at his age (everyone stares as he should be walking!!) but it is hard to gauge what sort of a day he is going to have and if we do go out it has to be there and then when he is in the mood otherwise I can;t be doing with the fight.

I am really interested in finsing some support groups, places I can go with him with other mums who understand, I never got a chance to speak to SS today as I was having a bad day with Ryan, I am not sure why, he was just having a meltdown day - possibly because the hairdresser was coming and I did not get anything done. I have to have the hairdresser come to the house else he will roll around the floor in the hairdressers - I took him once and only once and it was vile when I got out of the chair as he was covered in hair. My own hair I could deal with but everyone elses - urgh, I am a bit funny about that, so now I have a lovely chap who comes to my house and he is fab and he is always able coax him around to having a grade 2 and even if he screams he is relaxed and we are able to get his hair cut!! I would hate to lose him to the point if we move away from this area I will go to my fruends when she has hers done and he can do ours there, I don't think my son would let anyone else cut his hair - there is a bit of holding down at times but he looks like a boy again today!!

Of course, I will keep you posted on everything. sometimes it is nice to just have a vent about stuff. You understand I still have my eye on that 4 bed detached house with an acre garden and orchard..... LOL!! I thought I was on for last weeks Euro Milliosn, we don't usually do it but we bought a ticket but apparently you don't get anything for one number and one star!! Damn. maybe next week!! But seriously, I know I have to wait my turn, but I am happy waiting and I don't expect to push in, I just want what is right for the kids and if they need to come around so I can show them (the state of) the house then I'll have the kettle on. I'll be honest, the thought of living in someone elses house scares the pants off me, I'll never be able to get anything done as Ryan will need constant attention to make sure nothing gets damaged or drawn on. It must sound like my house is a complete hole but this is not the case, eveyone inside is well loved, just the make up is starting to wear a bit thin and needs topping up!! I just need to find the time to do it - not that it is worth it now.

Ooh, hubby and I was going to get some stuff up the storage unit this weekend but I have told the council what we have in the garden for Ryan to use (trampolines are great for kids with ADHD!!) as the garden is all enclosed and safe but we have decided to leave it until next weekend in case they thought we was lying as everything had gone. So hard to know what to do for the best. I have nothing to hide so they are welcome to come, that is why i invited them.

I have thought about things since I last mailed and I think that it is a but weird that everything has stepped up a gear since I emailed that councillor last week. The woman who has sent the letters today and the letter with my points is not the lady I have been dealing with until now, she is a housing nominations officer, the have added all the points I am entitled to now (except the 10 for not being able to secure my own property) yet my letter on Friday stated I had not had them added and she told me I was down for a home visit. It is all very exciting to think they are talking about us though, LOL, even if it comes to nothing it is nice to think we have not been 'disregarded' and that someone, somewhere, is listening.

Sorry, this was only supposed to be a short post but I have to get up to bed, extra hard work with hubby away at the moment.

Orlao, thank you, I will PM you tomorrow (Tues night). While this is hard for me I want to ensure that my cats are in loving homes and are looked after, it is hard for me to do this but I also know I have to do what is right for them - and not just for me. There is a local website that has just set up called http://www.thepetspeople.co.uk/ and you can place ads for your cats to get them rehomed - but I am asking for fostering in a couple of my ads. I have a couple of cats I know, deep down, would be happier without other cats around so now is the time to get that right for them. I need to take some pics, we did not have much luck at the weekend and got backs of heads and bottoms, LOL, so I have to get onto this and place the ads on there too. It will be in the paper again this week as there was an error last week so the time is right as long as I get the pics done.

I will of course keep everyone updated!! I am in a positive mood though - despite eating too much chocolate tonight and feeling a bit icky!! At least I am sleeping better and this is always a good sign!! I really must get to bed.

Night night xx

tilly's_mum

Hi

Just caught up on your thread - hope it goes well next week with the housing officier. My daughter sounds very like your son - and I get high rate DLA mobility and care - an extra £100+ a week plus carers allowance plus an extra allowance on tax credits has enabled me afford a private rented house - I managed to get a landlord to agree - it was hard work finding one but having the extra money meant I could show them all my benefit letters so he could see I could afford the rent. My parents too sold the house I was renting from them! I moved areas which was hard at first but was a good decision as I now get loads more help for my daughter - she goes to a holiday playscheme and is just about to start over night respite! I am also just about to start getting direct payments to help pay for some care for her - you choose who you employ and they can look after your child at home, take them out or accompany you and your family on a day out, a useful extra pair of hands! I have friends you take their support workers on holiday with them. Please don't feel bad about claiming DLA or carers allowance - the extra money comes in handy and may help you get extra points with the council (maybe not in time for your move but if you get a house which is not suitable and need to move again)

My daughter has no physical mobility problems but won't walk outside and throws herself on the floor screaming - I got a blue badge before she got DLA mobility - I took her into social services and she screamed the place down - the blue badge is great - when I go to the supermarket I can park near to the building so not as far to get her to the disabled child trolley-we don't go to many places either! Do you have a maclaren major buggy? bigger than a normal buggy - for children up to 8 years old.

I joined a few support groups, which I found really helpful - great to meet other mums and dads in the same boat - also some ran activities such as swimming where you could go and nobody looked at you when your child screamed! and she was and still is the loudest and most destructive! Your daughter may enjoy going to these too - my other daughter did (she's 2 years older) as they get to play with the other siblings.

Your local carers centre should be able to help you find out about support groups and any help you may be able to get. My local one is great - they have regular pamper days for the carers! and your son does not need an official diagnosis to join.

Good Luck

neverdespairgirl

blue_monkey wrote: »

Do I not call him M'lud or have I been watching too much TV? Now I have had some things explained to me I am finding it much easier to deal with.

"My Lord / My Lady" is for High Court judges upwards. Circuit Judges are "Your Honour". District Judges, which is what you will have, are "Sir / Madam".

blue_monkey_2

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

"My Lord / My Lady" is for High Court judges upwards. Circuit Judges are "Your Honour". District Judges, which is what you will have, are "Sir / Madam".

Thank you for this, see too much TV, how embarrassing. That was helpful to know, thank you. I am a little nervous, the 'court' word makes me feel like a criminal, nervouc thinking about it tbh.

katie1

just to let you know my friend is at court today 2Pm for eviction from his landlord, he has been told by money advice who are with him at court to represent (not sure if thats spelt right ) the judge can extent the time you have to be out by 6 weeks. dont know if that little bit of info is of any help to you ?

blue_monkey_2

Hi Tillys mum, thank you for that advice. I had the letter from the hospital for my apointment today at lunchtime - the appointment is for tomorrow at 4pm!! How much notice do you need I wonder? And I have to ask his teacher to fill a form out as well. Everything has come in the same week, it's a bit overwhelming, I need some time off, LOL!!

I honestly never realised there was so much help out there - you might like to post on the ASD/Aspergers thread as well as there are ADHD mums on that thread too and it just helps to have people to speak to and share our experiences. Did you know you can get into places like Legoland and get a pass so you don't have to queue, apparently carers get in free and there is a link on that board where you can get 'exit passes'. We never go places like this and I was going to go in the week (take the kids out of school and use my Clubcard Vouchers) but it is handy to have the pass in case it gets busy. I think I am fine queueing for 10 minutes and then that is enough for Ryan and he starts clambering, laying on the floor etc... And all the while you get the dirty looks. I often wonder if he needs a T-shirt and I have one to match 'Stop Staring' LOL!! It's easier just to stay at home.

Right now I need to get the housing situation sorted and then once somewhere (even temporary) I am going to sit down and get everything together and claim what I need to and find out where the groups are. Ryan does not 'do' swimming pools, I get him in there (but not the water) and then he spends the rest of the time trying to get out and run out to the changing rooms. I've tried fun pools as well as a normal pool and he is the same in both, I think it is the noise and the fans, he does not like the noise. We had a bad start to the day and he was hitting the other kids with sticks this morning - he got away from me in the queue waiting to get into school as they were late opening - and someone had a go at me about it in front of everyone. I asked why she did not take the stick off him and she said 'he was too quick'. I just replied, sorry but he does not understand he is being tested for Autism and tried to get Ryan to apologise but he would not while this 8 year old boy continued to cry his eyes out and everyone glaring at me. So embarrassing. If I restrain him then the school have a nightmare with him for the morning, it is hard to know what to do for the best at times.

I have my Phil & Teds for him still, there is loads of room in that still, it takes up to 2 x 5 years olds so I still have a lot of life left in it - he is tiny as he is so active and he burns it all off.

Well, he wants me off the laptop to watch Thomas on his track (does life get more exciting than this?) - my time here is done for now, speak to you again soon, and thank you for giving me all of this information, it really is most helpful.

neverdespairgirl

blue_monkey wrote: »

Thank you for this, see too much TV, how embarrassing. That was helpful to know, thank you. I am a little nervous, the 'court' word makes me feel like a criminal, nervouc thinking about it tbh.

You aren't a criminal, and please don't panic about it.

I'm in court all the time (I'm a barrister) and possession hearings are honestly about as low key as it gets in court terms.

Most of the TV dramas etc you see will be Crown Court trials for GBH /. murder / etc. So they are probably huge old wooden courts, with a big dock for the Defendant, a jury, half a dozen barristers, a High Court judge, and the last 7 of those all togged up in wigs, bands, and gowns.

By contrast, a possession hearing is likely to be in a small room, and the District Judge will be wearing a suit. It's far less formal in terms of language, procedure, and rules of evidence. The DJ deals with such cases ALL the time, and knows that people end up being evicted through no fault of their own.

You don't need to adopt a whole different vocab or personality! Just be polite, and set out your circumstances clearly. It might well help if you take notes in with you, in case you forget something.