We are being evicted, some advice please...... the date has arrived......

Babe1

Hi there BlueMonkey

I stumbled across your thread while looking for something else; I am so very sorry for all the troubles that you are all going through, and you in particular . Life can be so rotten at times.

I just wanted to say that I am sure everything will turn out right at some point.

The thing that I thought of while reading your thread was the Carers Centre. I checked their site and they have an office in Hertford

http://www.carers.org/local/east/hertford/

I have a son who is 19 and has learning disabilities and aspergers syndrome. he has only ever been in a special school but last summer left to start a life skills course at college; I felt like I had been cast adrift. Our GP knew of the Carers Centre so I contacted them, for some advice/support really as I was having transport problems with getting my son to college.

They have been so wonderful ... they have pointed me in the right direction with so many things and also come to our home and helped me fill in new forms regarding my sons DLA.

We consider oursleves to be "just a Mum" but you are also a Carer. I am sure there are many people that use this site who are in the same boat and may not know of the Carers Centre; if so please contact them as they can really help you.

Regarding applying for DLA/carers benefit ... you go right ahead and do it all. Maybe contact the benefits helpline, go see your GP and advise them as they will probably be contacted by the benefits agency. Like the OP said also claim for the Blue Badge, this may take some time to get but just keep chipping away. Again the Carers Centre will help you with all of this.

I wish you all the help that you can get ... your post has made me realise this morning how very lucky I am even with all the problems we have here.

Take care and hugs to you all :A

sasp

Thank you Babe1, that's a lovely post.

sasp xx

MaggieBear

I've kind of skimmed through your thread so far, so forgive me if I'm being horribly repetitive.

my cousin is Autistic and I know the issues my aunt had getting him properly "in the system" - the powers that be don't seem to be very connected to each other, so while one area (say, his school) knew fine that he had special needs, the transportation people didn't. Getting him statemented seemed to get that sorted right out (or, at least, gave her paperwork that everyone would accept).

If you go to court, might you be able to expedite the paperwork to bring your points up because he's special needs, rather than having to wait?

mumoftwins

Hi BM,

You are right about the length of time for court dates and eventual eviction. Have you rung Shelter at Hatfield? Their number is 08445151944 - they were very helpful to me when I first went to them but I didn't use them anymore after as they confirmed that they had lost every appeal case with DBC, which is why I used the solicitor in London (via legal aid). The other people I contacted who were absolutely excellent and gave me so much advice were Community Legal Service tel no: 08454566957 I spoke to a caseworker there called Paul who, apart from having a lovely sympathetic voice, was incredibly knowledgeable and helpful - please try these people because they should be able to allay any fears you may have and its FREE!!!!

Loretta

pink_muppet wrote: »

Firstly, I know this doesn't help but my heart goes out to you, I am appalled that your mum is treating you like this and is happy to see you and your children, HER GRANDCHILDREN out on the street

One thing I read earlier though is that you are paying her credit card is that right? if so stop this immediately!!! and if you are in the process of being evicted I would even stop paying the 'rent/mortgage' payments immediately and save that money for a deposit for a new place, she is making your life difficult so I would do the same for her, when you do leave, I would take as much out of the property as you can (even the bloody toilet) so she has to replace everything to sell it

I hope something turns up for you soon, I live in Humberside and you can rent a 3 bed semi in the village where I live (and its a lovely village) for around £400 a month and you would get the support you needed here

maybe it's time to be brave and start afresh

I know how you feel but under no circumstances must you stop paying your rent, the council will use it as an excuse to call you intentionally homeless

Don't pay anything else though and definitely not that credit card

Loretta

blue_monkey wrote: »

Thanks PM, yes we pay it but after we give her the money - because they don;t have the facilities to pay it, that is all I meant. They have not asked for a while, avoiding us I think, but yes I do understand. We cannot stop paying the rent because then they can tell the judge, we will get evicted for non-payment of rent and we have made ourselves homeless so we have to carry on paying, even though we have a date for the bailiff to knock on the door.

most of what is in the houe is ours so yes, we are taking it but I am leaving things - silly things - such as cutlery that is here so as to make a point, if we took out everything we put in then there would be nothing left. LOL.
but seriously, we are looking forward to it being a new start for us.

A few years back my husband was threatened with redundancy and he actually put in for it and we was going to move up north, but with having 2 children my husband can't just leave his job, I have just had to wind my business up and we have to think of the kids. In our younger days when both unhappy in our work we both left, gave our notice and left, even though we had nothing else. You can't do this when you have kids as you don;t get benefit just for leaving and moving, so we are stuck in and around here. But it's OK, life is what it is for a reason. I know that once we get out the other side of this it will be for the right reasons, I have thought about schools, if the kids have to move they have to move, but for now I am keeping them here, at least until my son has finished his IEP and until he has seen the paediatricitian else it means going back to the bottom of the list and we have already been waiting since November, I don't want to start again, once we are 'in the system' and have been seen it will be easier to transfer to another hospital and another doctors.

I am (surprising myself here) taking it all in my stride at the moment. I have to find out about fostering the cats, I keep on putting it off and putting it off but I do know it is inevitable, I have to get some notes up the vets. I doubt they would let us have all 5 if we had a council place anyway so I have to decide which would be OK on their own and what ones I would prefer to have a chance in staying in foster care to come back to me.

So, if we don;t get housed and have to go to a hostel, I have lost a home, money (that we put into this place), all of my pets (of which I have had for 10 years), my business and, if we don't get housed around here eventually, my friends and support. Do you think I should be sending my mum a 'thanks for nothing' card??? it's her birthday next month..... ideas for pressies anyone..... BUT I am still smiling because of all the support I have been given everywhere else and it really does help so much in keeping things into perspective. Thank you.

If the council accept responsibility for you under the homelss person act they have a duty to store your furniture and belongings and pay for your pets in kennels etc

mumoftwins

Loretta wrote: »

If the council accept responsibility for you under the homelss person act they have a duty to store your furniture and belongings and pay for your pets in kennels etc

Hi Loretta, I agree that this is written in the council literature but they only suggested that I rent a garage from them and that wasn't secure or watertight, so please be prepared BM for storage costs!

Loretta

blue_monkey wrote: »

No, I understand I can do harsh. My support network are my friends that I have here - places I can escape to if I need to but moving to a completely new area I am not going to have this. I know I have explained before but we don't/can't go anywhere because my son attacks other kids. This is why i spend all day on here - it is not through choice! But where ever we go we still won't have the support that a family network usually offers and I don't know what other support is available as I have never asked for it. I can;t really go asking for it now if in 3 weeks time we are living somewhere different so for this moment, things are fine. I don't care where we go, I don't care where we live, I have already said that. The reason for my posting was to make sure I have 'all angles covered' and that I am doing all I can t ensure we get what we are entitled to - and if the law states we should have x points but we don't have them then I want them, as it will make the difference between being housed and being homeless. We needn't be homeless if we had the right amount of points and I need to make sure I am doing all I can to ensure that I have got them. But I do want to stay around here (and I mean that loosely as in the district, 40 mile radius) so I can keep the friends I have because we have nothing else. I am sure they would look after my son if I let them but because he is quite violent to other kids (and to me and I am sure other parents) so is it right I let them when he has to be kept a watch on at all times? Would you like to be looking after a friends child who can, the minute your back it turned, hit your child and hurt them? I sit here saying this with a fat lip where he smacked something into a few days back and it has swollen right up. Would you want a child like this in your house and in your care? Honestly? Well that is why I feel my friends are my support network as they will have me in their house and they will let me son play with their children. Many wouldn't, many don't - which is why he does not make any friends and this is why they call him 'naughty Ryan'. i don't expect people to understand but I do have my reasons and for now, I am happy with my reasons.

At the end of the day - for now - I just want to make sure I get the points I am entitled to - this was why I posted. I know we will be homeless, I've accepted that, I've accepted that homeless will not be around here either, but I don't want to move from the area I am in (district). Where ever we go we still can't get anywhere to live as we can't get past the credit checks and being realistic we have 6 weeks to find somewhere. The only place we can go is further in towards London because of my husbands job and I am not going to do that. He can't just leave his job to move somewhere because our families are carp so while I understand what everyone is saying about moving onto pastures new I can't quite understand where we are expected to go as we will still have the same problems, but without any money as my husband will have no job if he leaves it. I am certainly not moving further into London and if we move out of this area then we are not on the council list anymore, we would lose most of our posints (50 are for local connections - ie. living here for this long, if you move away you lose them) and would not be able to move back, we would not qualify for social housing elsewhere and we can't rent private. I know it is cheaper elsewhere but how do we pay the rent with no money? What if my husband could not find another job? So we have to stay around 'here' - and by 'around here' I am talking about being in the housing district, not in this village. But where else are we supposed to be going? I know everyone means well by saying we should move to pastures new but there is nowhere else to go? Is there? Or am I missing something here?

I am being realistic here and I know what the score is, but really, there is nowhere else to go that would not mean my husband losing his job, and I am only asking for these things with the house to be taken into consideration, in the same way your cousin has been given because her son has autism, if they don't know our needs they can't accomodate them, they already told me this so I have asked for them. I appreciate that the first place we get offered we will take and I have already said that, if it is 'wrong' for us then we can appeal. if we keep on looking and find somewhere to take us private in this time then we can do this, but for now I'll take what is offered as we have nothing else and I have never said I would not.

So, I know what some of you think and I appreciate you have your views, but I think for now we are doing the right thing and we want to stay in the district rather than move somewhere where we have no work, no friends and the like.

You need to read my long post again.

Forget about points, they do not matter, you will never ever have enough points for you to be housed. The council do not have a legal obligation to house you even if you have a million points and are on the top of the waiting list. They do not have any spare houses, people who are on the waiting list will stay there for ever

They do have a legal obligation to house people who are homeless unintentionally and are in priority need, your priority is that you have children. Homeless people take priority over people on the waiting and when the council have housed all the people who are homeless there are no houses left.

You are at the moment threatened with homelessness, if and when your mother gets an eviction order you will be threatened with homelessness with 28 days and then the council will take responsibility for you because you are unintentionally homeless and in priority need in accordance with the homeless person act 1977

You are heading in the right direction and no amount of points, doctors letters or visits from the local councillor will make difference at all to you.

You will have one offer of what the council considers to be suitable accomodation for you. When they have made this offer they will have fullfilled their legal obligation to you. If you refuse this offer you will be intentionally homeless and they will not even have to accomodate you in their hostel you will be on your own.

It is very difficult for you to argue that the council's one offer is not suitable and if this happens you will need to contact Shelter to help you. If they say accept it that is what you have to do. Shelter are the experts on this.

Loretta

blue_monkey wrote: »

Thanks Silvercar, depending on where we end up we will be entitled if in private but not in LA, do you know if it gets 'backdated' at all? I've never claimed anything before so am a bit lame on all the benefits stuff. When hubby lost his job they made it so hard to claim (even though he had industrial illness) and we ended up with about £60 a week on benefits, how do people live on benefits?? But he just applied for every job he could and posted his CV on Monster and he was back in work a month later.

A bit of 'possible' good news, I am not really sure what it means though so I am thinking it is positive rather than negative.

I got a letter from the council this morning with my new points total - from someone different to the lady I have been dealing with in the past (which surprised me, I thought I would deal with just one lady) but my new points are 103 (I need 120) so I gave them a call and asked them when I was to call about being homeless, was it on 3rd February, and she told me that I had to call when I had a date to go to court. Anyhow I then mentioned that I would be having to do this because of problems with Ryan and the situation that never occured with him damaging the property we are in and because we did not have enough points to be considered for housing, she then mentioned that she had just put my name onto a list for a home visit. I guess it is to make sure I am not lying in my letters about Ryan and the bits I have asked to be taken into consideration, but the lady is coming next Monday to visit me at home. I am not sure what happens then but I am hoping it is positive in showing we need rather than we want, I will let you know. I can't believe I have to wait until next week, I am nervous already, LOL.

Sometimes it just helps to get things down on here (and have a whinge if having a bad day!!) so thank you all for listening.

This Home Visit is a routine visit to do with the housing waiting list. It is irrelevent in your present situation as you have now 'jumped' the waiting list as you are threatened with homelessness.

It may seem a waste of time but you now have 2 different departments in the council dealing with you but neither of them are achieving anything at all!

Loretta

blue_monkey wrote: »

Hi everyone,

Ah, i found some Roses in the cupboard left over from Xmas and I am getting through them. I feel sick now, LOL.

Thank you for that Jayne, I was worried there might be a big trial type thing so it was handy to have yours & MoT's help on what happens, I've probably been watching too much tv!! I am going to ask for 28 days to move out - I think I said that already - but who do I ask to come with me? Does it have to be someone legal? You said that there was someone from shelter in the court, do they all have them or do they have legal people there? Do I not call him M'lud or have I been watching too much TV? Now I have had some things explained to me I am finding it much easier to deal with.

Thanks also for the advice about housing benefit, I will get onto that as soon as we find somewhere. I think we might be over the limit as we are getting a higer rate Tax Credit at the moment (did not get anything for 8 months as they 'lost' my paperwork and they backdated it) so I think we will not get anything until that finishes in April. Still, if you don't try you don't get!!

I've not claimed anything for Ryan at all, I know it means more money but I had this discussion on another thread - I feel bad claiming because he does not 'look' disabled and I assumed that is what it was for. He does get through a lot of trousers, I got some joggers a onth back and he wears one pair a week and 2 have the knees though already where he is on the floor a lot. I read some notes a few weeks back on filling in the forms and then I realised he needed more care than a 'normal' child does of this age. I just assumed his behavior was what came with parenting boys!! LOL!!

Hi Christabell,

No, still waiting for dates to see paeds (they said a few weeks wait in early December!!) but I have had confirmation that the Child Developement Unit have discussed his notes from me & the school and that he needs to be seen, also that he has to be be referred to Speech & Language Therapy if I consent (of course I do, have left a message for the HV to call me!).

He does not have any special diets but I am careful of what I feed him because he was 'hyper' from an early age and I make sure that 99% of the food he eats is made by myself and he very rarely has pre-packaged meals as they are full of E numbers, even the breadcrumb coatings on some foods have additives, so I am careful and if I make it myself then I know what goes in it, it just means the food bill is higher (ah, and now having written this sentence I realise what DLA is for - Doh!!). He does not have mobility problems as such that he cannot walk but he will throw himself on the floor and refuse to budge so sometimes the buggy helps or he runs off so I cannot find him. I think it is fair to say that I have been 'spoilt' by village life and until recently and looking for somewhere else to live I did not realise this. If he runs off or disppears the people around here know who he is and that I am usually not far behind or they can tell me where he has gone, this is just the way we live. I 'lost' him this morning for 5 minutes at the school and was running around like a loon calling him while he played happily in a classroom - how he got in there I will never know as when I saw him and went to get him he was at the school gates, LOL, people will walk past and say 'he is over there' I am past being embarrased now and give a knowing smile but because everyone knows us/him it is fair to say he is safe. if he was to run out of the school gates the lollypop lady would nab him or people will wait with him and bring him to me, it is only now that I realise that if we move to another area this is not going to be the case and this worrys me that I have to make sure I have a hold of him at all times - something that I have not had to do at all living around here. I've never seen this as being something extra I need, just that he has been a pain in the butt, so I've not really felt it my place to claim anything. Likewise, I never realised I could get respite care.... but that would mean handing him over to someone else and having not had that support to fall back on it is hard for me to be able to do. I've always been left to get on with it and I feel if I hand him over I am letting him down (yes, these are personal issues I need to deal with) - even though he is under my feet and can be very demanding - I feel bad for wanting a bit of peace as I am a mum, looking after my kids is what I should be doing not given them to someone else to do it for me. However hard. Does that sound weird? I know these are my personal issues though and I have to get past them.

Because I only have my friends to compare with (no boys in the family, he is the first in the last 2 generations) I have never known him as different - just having a different personality. My friends boys spend the whole time together rolled in a bundle on the floor play fighting where as my son is nothing like this at all and does not like to get involved, he gets scared by them all fighting together in 'play' but he will lash out if he is frustrated. what I don't understand though, the boys can all fight, roll on the floor hitting each other for an hour until soeone gets hurt but the minute ryan hits one of them through temper they get all upset about it. LOL. Does anyone else get this?? Anyway, I think for me it is just that I have to keep him under frustration level and he is fine. He wanted something today and I said no and I walked to school with him hitting me - I ignore it if I am honest and do not register it - I still don't know if this is the right or wrong thing to do tbh - but I will quicken my pace and ignore him, he does not like that and I will explain that if he is nasty to me I will not walk with him.

Tbh I don't really go anywhere to warrant having a badge, if I needed it yes, but I don't really need one and I use parent and child where I can. I probably go out once every 3 or 4 weeks. I went out Friday for the first time since 6th December (I had to take a top back to Next!) but because I feel weird having him in the buggy at his age (everyone stares as he should be walking!!) but it is hard to gauge what sort of a day he is going to have and if we do go out it has to be there and then when he is in the mood otherwise I can;t be doing with the fight.

I am really interested in finsing some support groups, places I can go with him with other mums who understand, I never got a chance to speak to SS today as I was having a bad day with Ryan, I am not sure why, he was just having a meltdown day - possibly because the hairdresser was coming and I did not get anything done. I have to have the hairdresser come to the house else he will roll around the floor in the hairdressers - I took him once and only once and it was vile when I got out of the chair as he was covered in hair. My own hair I could deal with but everyone elses - urgh, I am a bit funny about that, so now I have a lovely chap who comes to my house and he is fab and he is always able coax him around to having a grade 2 and even if he screams he is relaxed and we are able to get his hair cut!! I would hate to lose him to the point if we move away from this area I will go to my fruends when she has hers done and he can do ours there, I don't think my son would let anyone else cut his hair - there is a bit of holding down at times but he looks like a boy again today!!

Of course, I will keep you posted on everything. sometimes it is nice to just have a vent about stuff. You understand I still have my eye on that 4 bed detached house with an acre garden and orchard..... LOL!! I thought I was on for last weeks Euro Milliosn, we don't usually do it but we bought a ticket but apparently you don't get anything for one number and one star!! Damn. maybe next week!! But seriously, I know I have to wait my turn, but I am happy waiting and I don't expect to push in, I just want what is right for the kids and if they need to come around so I can show them (the state of) the house then I'll have the kettle on. I'll be honest, the thought of living in someone elses house scares the pants off me, I'll never be able to get anything done as Ryan will need constant attention to make sure nothing gets damaged or drawn on. It must sound like my house is a complete hole but this is not the case, eveyone inside is well loved, just the make up is starting to wear a bit thin and needs topping up!! I just need to find the time to do it - not that it is worth it now.

Ooh, hubby and I was going to get some stuff up the storage unit this weekend but I have told the council what we have in the garden for Ryan to use (trampolines are great for kids with ADHD!!) as the garden is all enclosed and safe but we have decided to leave it until next weekend in case they thought we was lying as everything had gone. So hard to know what to do for the best. I have nothing to hide so they are welcome to come, that is why i invited them.

I have thought about things since I last mailed and I think that it is a but weird that everything has stepped up a gear since I emailed that councillor last week. The woman who has sent the letters today and the letter with my points is not the lady I have been dealing with until now, she is a housing nominations officer, the have added all the points I am entitled to now (except the 10 for not being able to secure my own property) yet my letter on Friday stated I had not had them added and she told me I was down for a home visit. It is all very exciting to think they are talking about us though, LOL, even if it comes to nothing it is nice to think we have not been 'disregarded' and that someone, somewhere, is listening.

Sorry, this was only supposed to be a short post but I have to get up to bed, extra hard work with hubby away at the moment.

Orlao, thank you, I will PM you tomorrow (Tues night). While this is hard for me I want to ensure that my cats are in loving homes and are looked after, it is hard for me to do this but I also know I have to do what is right for them - and not just for me. There is a local website that has just set up called http://www.thepetspeople.co.uk/ and you can place ads for your cats to get them rehomed - but I am asking for fostering in a couple of my ads. I have a couple of cats I know, deep down, would be happier without other cats around so now is the time to get that right for them. I need to take some pics, we did not have much luck at the weekend and got backs of heads and bottoms, LOL, so I have to get onto this and place the ads on there too. It will be in the paper again this week as there was an error last week so the time is right as long as I get the pics done.

I will of course keep everyone updated!! I am in a positive mood though - despite eating too much chocolate tonight and feeling a bit icky!! At least I am sleeping better and this is always a good sign!! I really must get to bed.

Night night xx

On the day you go to Court I expect it will be a day when they deal with housing issues like yours and there will be someone to give advice, maybe from Shelter or a local Housing Advice Centre who will tell you what will happen and come into the court with you. I bet it will be all over in 2 minutes and your sister will not have a chance to talk and certainly won't have a chance to be nasty so don't worry about that.

I am not positive but I expect you will be given 28 days, the Judge will probably say to you 'are you hoping to get Council accomodation' and will know how it works

Good luck, not long to go now