We are being evicted, some advice please...... the date has arrived......

blue_monkey_2

Thanks NDG, this is a first for me really that is why I was worried, it is just so nice to have people to sent others minds at rest about what to expect. I end up worrying about it otherwise and can't sleep. I still can;t say I am looking forward to it but at least I know what to expect. Thank you xx

tilly's_mum

Thanks for the info on Lego land - never been but fancy going, did alton towers last year and got 'no waiting' wrist bands, only took her on one ride though and that was enough - she loved it and kept jumping around and in trying to keep her safe I ended up bruised and with nice nail shaped holes in my hands!! and I'll check out the asd board now.

Have you heard of Cerebra www.cerebra.org.uk ? - a really good charity and loads of useful info and have a downloadable guide to how to fill in a DLA form in if you decide to apply for it.

Hope it goes well at the hospital tomorrow.

blue_monkey_2

Evening everyone, thought I would check in and let you know what happened at the hospital. We was in with the doctor for an hour and it is hot in that hospital. It was the longest hour ever, however my son was on true form. Doctor tried to measure his head and got a swift kick (or five) to the legs and chest, it ended with me holding him down while he was kicking out and he was literally boucing off the walls in the room by the time the hour was over. I expected them to be used to this kind of behaviour but they seemed amazed that he was 'like that' all the time. He then went on to tell the coloured doctor that she had 'a big nose and looked like a chicken'. I was mortified!! I apologised but everyone else was was laughing including the doctor while I sat there gobsmacked that he would come out with this saying 'they do say never to work with kids or animals'. OMG. There was lots of questions asked - lots of questions!! And she has diagnosed him today. Because he is under 7 they have diagnosed him with ODD (sums it up) or Oppositional Definant Disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opposit...fiant_disorder They are going to speak to CAMHS and he is being reffered to their care for this (I explained he was refused care by CAMHS but it is different if the hospital refer the children), they are going to try and manage him with behaviour therapy and if this does not work when he is 7 he will be referred back to the ADHD clinic and will be put on medication (the very last resort but he will need it for school - a bit of a worry if I am honest but that is 3 years away). However, he has Hyperactivity and she has witnessed many AS traits but he needs more specialist advice from a psycologist/pysciatrist to find out exactly which AS condition he has or if it is one of many. So the start of a long road is ahead but it is nice to be on the road with one diagnosis and it gives me somewhere to start.

They have told me that they are writing to Social Services to contact me with help (also about getting a break from him as this will benefit the whole family - but I feel a bit weird handing him over to someone else tbh, I don't know if I am ready for this), also they are going to contact the school and give them advice on how they should treat him and his condition. It kind of feels pretty weird because he has been so 'naughty' for such a long time, it just feels like a kind of closure is underway really and that finally someone understands what life has been like for us. I also explained the housing situation because she had asked a question about sleeping and we got onto that subject and she told me that she is not happy that a hostel or temporary accomodation is being considered for him and that it needs to be sorted ASAP for his [Ryans] sake. I am not sure what I do about that as it is something beyond my control but I will mention it to the council when she comes around on Monday I guess, I can't do a lot else I suppose other than give the council the doctors details so they can discuss it.

So it has been a very tiring day but it feels nice to know that we are going to get the support he needs and this was all I was after at the end of the day. Thanks for listening. xx

MiniLaura

Hey

Good to hear that the hospital visit had a positive outcome, and I hope you can start getting the support and recognition for your sons condition! I'm sure you must be very relieved now.

im sure theres lots to sort out and best of luck with it.

blue_monkey_2

Yes, thank you. There seems so much to deal and all in the same few weeks with but it is one more weight off my mind. You always worry if it is something you have done to make him this way and I have asked about being able to join some clubs so he can mix with other children with the same AS conditions. My son does not have any friends in school because of how he is and that is the worst thing for me tbh. He is not winning me many friends either!! Fingers crossed this is the start of being able to help all of us. Thank you x

Mollymop5

I'm so pleased the doctors took you seriously and that they have made an initial diagnosis.Helping the school to understand his behaviour has got to be good in the long run. I know what you mean about outside help and handing him over to someone.Just think of it as childcare though.Lots of parents use childcare for work, soial life ect.You would be no different

blue_monkey_2

Hi MM, I know this is what I found hard though as I have never been someone who has had to rely on childcare. When I fell pregnant (I was told I could never have children and I have 2) I knew that I would be a stay at home mum and be with them, so although I do understand I have probably left my children 4 or 5 times in 5 years (to see the Harry Potter films and Pirates of the Carribean, that is how many times we have been out alone since my DD was born!!). Sounds a bit sad really I guess but I've always been happy with this. Childcare for us was always another expense if we went out so it was never considered - we have a life waiting for us when our kids get older and I've done my fair share of living it up, LOL, I am too old for it now!! My husband called me the other day as he is away on a course, he told me he bought a pint of lager and it '£2.50 for a pint'. I told him that kind of was the going rate now!! LOL!! After I got married (9 years ago now, just remember WA coming up but forgot on top of everything going on, oops) and had not been out for a bit I went out clubbing with a friend. We went to the bar and I asked her what she wanted and ordered and i was playing with a £5 note at the bar and she said 'you'll need more than that', I nearly fell over when I was charged £9 for 2 bottles of alcopops stuff. And that is when I decided it was cheaper to stay at home and that I did not really miss nights out!!

Mollymop5

Lol you sound just like me! I love being at home with my kids too and don't go out very often.Never clubbing! too old to.I also was told I couldn't have kids.My ds jsut surprised us and then it took another 8 yrs of fertility treatment to get dd.
You need to start looking at it in a positve way.If you have a break, even if it's just an hour it will mean you're able to have a little "me time" which will then enable you to enjoy the time with your kids. I have a friend whos ds has downes syndrome.She receives help as he stays at another families home every Tuesday night.That family make such a fuss of him taking him bowling ect.My friend then uses this time to allow her dd to have sleep overs or just have some alone time with mum.He has been going to the same family for years now.It works so well.

blue_monkey_2

Yes, I know, I think I'll be OK getting my head around it, I have already told DH tht he will have to start taking my son for the morning so I can do things with DD such as swimming (DS refuses to go in the water so DD does miss out and this is what the doc was concerned about) it just feels so weird, probably because someone wants to take him off my hands!! I have 14 months between mine and after having DD I managed to get pregnant with a dodgy ovary that does not work half the time (only had one by the time I got married in a bizarre twist!!) was breastfeeding ful time - and hey, it only takes once!!! :eek: It is true. (if my husband ever reads this he is going to kill me, ha ha!!) So my fate was sealed!! My son was so advanced, all other babies seem backwards in comparison now, it is a little strange. my friends baby is 6 months old and cannot sit yet - by 6 months my son was pulling himself up and was wandering around the furniture - I forget it is my son who was the abnormal one, LOL!! I find it really hard to let go of the kids tbh, I know I have to eventually, but maybe it is knowing I will never have more that makes it difficult. Mind you, with the tantrum DD had this morning I could well have left her at school today - for the night!! :rotfl:

blue_monkey_2

Ooh, clubbing, remember the days. When I was younger (OK, 12-15 years ago so not that much younger) I used to go before 10.00 to get in for free, have a drink before I got there so was a little tipsy and would buy 2 pints - £1 a pint - to last me the whole night. I used to go clubbing ith £2 in my pocket and so did my mates. God I was MSE back then - or a saddo one of the two, I can't quite put my finger on it!! LOL. Brings back some memories to make me smile (and cringe) though!! Oh yes and the other club people used to get birthday tickets and if you hung around 'The Square' bar for long enough you could usually wangle a ticket from someone with a cheap or free drink on it too. Those were the days.......