Torn between work and family..

supersavershal

Im easily bored and hate routine.I trained as a paediatric nurse many years ago.For a while I worked on a ward, then I worked in community.I went back to the ward because I liked the different shifts especially the nights because I cant get up in the morning.I then had a baby and went back on 30 hours working days, got fed up rushing around so changed to nights at the weekend mainly.Got a promotion, went back on day shifts, changed to looking after children with life limiting conditions and worked in community again.Then I had another baby and now I work a combination of days and nights, community and ward based as the needs of the children dictate.
No day is ever the same, there is always a new challenge, I have continued to gain qualifications (I am doing a management diploma at the moment), I spend lots of time with my kids and earn a decent wage.
What I am saying is find the right career and you can have it all, I can never stay still for long but im happy.

G-G_4

Thanks again everyone, some very brilliant advice! and some really helpfull motivation for me, thank you, I really am getting motivated by your replies.

I guess I could just sit here and do nothing for a few years until kids come along, but it won't do me much good, so I really need to make a life for myself.

I have looked at and registered for a couple of temp sites, Monster, Reed etc they seem to be the local ones to my area in West Yorkshire.

I mentioned it to the OH last night and just basically said I am veyr bored and restless and I want my own life and not just be at home and stuff as this is boring for me and I need more. I need to have my own identity.

Not 100% sure what i'm going to do, and i'm not sure I am ready this very moment, but if something comes along that sounds good then i'm going to go for it and fingers crossed I will like it.

Also, due to bankruptcy I don't have a car anymore and I have never caught a bus.. that sounds really bad I know.. but i'm sure I can catch a bus but I feel really insecure about it all. I used to have a 23k car, and a 10k motorbike and now I have to catch a bus, it horrifies me to be honest, i'm probably a snob, and sorry for anyone who catches a bus and sees this as insulting..

belfastgirl23

I think if you can start to think about your bus journey as reducing your carbon footprint, being more environmentally friendly etc and this might help. I have to confess for longer journeys I'm not a great bus person myself altho they are really expensive here in NI and slow as well...but for local trips they're great. No hassle with parking too. People are usually quite good about making sure you get to the right stop etc if you ask. In a few weeks time you'll wonder why you ever had a problem with it.

It's funny how little things can really feel like big hurdles when you're down though.

G-G_4

yeah, I know.. I mean, I can deal with the job and anything they ask me to do, but a simple bus journey worries me...

I also get travel sick easily and hopefully I will be okay on the bus, time will tell.. I sound like a right pansy now.. haha

I will get another car at some point though.. Just got to look forward to that I suppose..

Plus the bus is much quicker, cheaper and easier than a car, especially as I live on the outskirts of a city, so it's just a case of getting the bus into town so to speak..

Still not sure about temping, can I chose to do one week at each job or something or is it just what you are offered?

dearbarbie

G-G wrote: »

I have looked at and registered for a couple of temp sites, Monster, Reed etc they seem to be the local ones to my area in West Yorkshire.

I mentioned it to the OH last night and just basically said I am veyr bored and restless and I want my own life and not just be at home and stuff as this is boring for me and I need more. I need to have my own identity.

I think what you and your OH are saying is spot on

Don't just register on the websites, it will take you ages to get somethimg and you won't hear back from them. Where in WY are you? Print off a few copies of your CV, go through the phone book/yellow pages and make appointments to register at a few agencies in your local town(s) for work. If you register on Reed's website they will never get in touch, go and visit them, or at least I've always had problems with them and a few other agencies. You'll have to go see them to properly register anyway as they'll need to do a typing test, ask you questions about your skills, get to know you. As for Monster, it's really you who has to apply for the jobs on there to have any real success. (Just a few tips, done this myself recently that's all!)

I'm from Wakefield originally but close to Leeds and I know they have a Kelly and Reed, an Adeco, and countless other local ones (which IMO are better sometimes). Don't forget to take your passport for ID otherwise you can't get on their books, and if you've heard nothing after a week, keep calling them asking if they have any work. Once you get remembered and to know a few of the agency staff it gets easier. Don't be scared to hassle them - you're not being a pain, you're being proactive and willing to make effort to find work! Try a few towns maybe.

Some agencies (like mine) have a sit-in service where you can go in the morning, use the computers and drink their coffee, eat their biscuits, and wait for work (i.e people calling in sick) to come in.

P.S. Buses are fine when you get used to them I guess (I can't drive so I can't really say!)

G-G_4

I'm in Bradford, originally from Northants, so I always feel out of place up here. It's embarrasing actually as everyone says I have a 'posh' accent, and so I feel like people take the mickey out of me a bit or think I am of a posh nature, which i'm not really, I'm a right tomboy but I am curteous and respectful.

I can't decide about the agency work, part of it sounds great, the shorter term contracts and the change of jobs.. but another part of me would worry about stability and how am I going to get to work, people opinion of me etc etc..

I also don't want to be bunched into a group of people that can't get a 'proper' job (no offence meant at all!!) but that was my opinion of Temp Staff before I looked into it.. Hope that doesn't sound bad! But you know, will you get treated well even if you are a temporary person?

Arrghhh, I just cannot decide what to do.. I know there is no rush, but I want to get started..

Also, I was thinking of going college and training to be a chef..

So many possibilities it overwhelming.. I'm just not sure..

Going to ring college now and get some info and go from there..

Thanks for the help again, i'm still fighting to get somewhere so don't give up on me.. just still very confused as to what to do x

Oldernotwiser

But don't forget about your OU courses or else you won't be able to start your radiography training in 2009! It may sound a long way away at the moment but it really isn't and when you get there, if you haven't got your qualifications and can't start training you'll be kicking yourself! In my experience, learning something new is the best cure for depression. Good luck.

G-G_4

Well i've contacted the college about the Catering course to become a Chef, that is a one year course and I need to do at least 2 years to become a fully qualified Chef.
I feel like I am jumping at something else again though, but I have always though about becoming a Chef and now seems like a good time to train. I would be out of the house about 30 hrs a week training at college.

Not sure what to do about Radiography. I'm not enjoying my Science courses with the OU and not sure if I would stick 3 yrs at uni studying for it ? So should I just take my chances with cooking?

Spoke to OH and had a bit of a cry and a rant about how no-one seems to encourage me and just constantly brings up my past failures against any future plans. He understands why I am upset and lost and wishes he could help but says it's my life, if I want something I have to stick at it.. so he is being a bit more supportive about it now and says he just wants me to be happy.

The Proffesional catering course starts 28th Jan, costs £650 for a year and they are holding interviews on Jan 16th.

I have applied online, as per the lady at the college suggested and she will send me a course prospecus and an interview in the post.

I'm nervous now, I feel like I am setting myself up for yet another fall and am going to make a fool of myself by quitting or not enjoying it etc etc and will wish I had just stayed at home and not moaned about it..

poppyscorner

Wow you sound so much like I am or used to be except I rushed into the baby thing suffered tragedy in my first pregnancy then rushed again into a second one that one worked out but my mind was a mess after his birth and I was exactly like you are I had a job I was convinced I hated in the NHS I was on sick leave for almost a year I didnt want to go back there I wanted to do something But not that.
I half heartedly job searched applied for some but couldn't be arsed to ge to the interviews I felt I was rubbish at my job I was a rubbish wife and mother.

Totally useless however I didn't pack my job in eventually my depression began to lift I went back to the job I still hated and something started to change I became me sounds silly but I started to change to the person I am now I started to care about what I was doing and took pride in myself.

I worked 18months like that feeling better and better and I got promotion that was nearly 3yrs ago and I have applied to become a student nurse through my employer who will pay me a wage whilst doing my training and guarantee me a job at the end of it I start in March and I am so excited.

I can identify with almost every thought you have shared here and to have a business you love and loose must be soul destroying your business is my first baby and you feel lost without it as I did with her. Have you thought about getting a support workers job in a radiography department to se if you like it may not be much but will give you a bit of an insight into what you could be doing and occupy your brain.

I honestly think staying home did nothing for me for that year and although it was a real push to go back to work I had to for the sake of my mind I can't simply do nothing even now I have two boys and about to go to uni it will be hard but I will do it.

I hope this helps even if only a little
Poppy xx

Good Luck xx

G-G_4

Poppy, thank you for your post, it really is appreciated.. x

I can see that getting training or work is the only way out of this mess I seem to be in.. it's going to be hard but i've got to do it.

I did apply for a radiography assistant post at the local hospital, it's only 1/2 mile away, but didn't even get an interview.. I have no hospital or caring experience at all so I guess lots of people beat me to that one.

I guess if I can commit myself to one years college at a time and see how things go then maybe that will work for me.. I just don't want to fail yet again.

& yeah, losing my business was a big loss. I could carry on with it, but i'm not very good at the paperwork side and I don't think i'm ready to try again. I would rather try something else..

Sorry about your 1st baby xx I think I have decided I don't want children just yet, the time isn't right and I need to get sorted before I complicate things further..

xx