Pay to attend party?

hannoja

Wow, I can't believe how this thread has grown! Thank you all again for your input; even you Morty I really feel the need to respond to many of your points however, mainly due to the sheer disgust you seem to have formed towards the rest of us.

Morty_007 wrote: »

I'm really saddened by the responses in this thread...No, I don't think its a cheek asking them to pay. Its not like they invited them and then sprung the cost on them when they got there!

Well.. actually there was no indication of payment being required on the invite. It was one of those invites with the 'party' and RSVP details on, and the tear-off accept/decline section at the bottom. It was only because I asked the boy's mother that I learned that it would cost £15...

Had it been approached differently, in more of a 'We're doing this. If you fancy doing it too that would be great. It costs £15", that would've been much better.

Morty_007 wrote: »

You take your choices in life and I think it's important that kids learn that we can't always do what we want to do!

Couldn't agree with you more.

Morty_007 wrote: »

You would only be moaning if little Johnny hadn't been invited. Damned if they do and damned if they don't.

An incorrect assumption.

Morty_007 wrote: »

Guess it sorts out those going because they actually like the child and want to go to spend time with them (commonly known as friends) and not just because everyone else is going (commonly known as acquaintances) or those going because they think there might be good food, an expensive outing or a good party bag (commonly known as freeloaders). The £15 is for entrance to a theme park!! I’d like to see the rollercoaster you could get in your back yard for cheaper.

My little lad and the birthday boy are friends. We had no idea who else was going. Food isn't at the top of my son's 'important' list, he wouldn't have a clue what 'expensive' was, though of course I do, and I do consider it expensive, for us; especially since he's a guest. As for party bags, my little ones would likely leave it behind: play is all they're interested in really.

Morty_007 wrote: »

And as for the comment about being "expected" to buy a gift as well...if your child isn't close enough to the birthday child to want to buy them a present, why on earth should you expect the parent of the birthday child to invite little Johnny along?! I can’t imagine there is any expectation of a gift… or do you expect gifts for your child when you throw a party?

It's not really about expectation. It's just good manners to take a gift for the 'party person' isn't it..?

Morty_007 wrote: »

My lad has just been invited to his first Birthday party and I actually offered to pay because the venue wants £7-50 a head for a group of 6mth to 1 yr olds to go to a soft play area. Why should any mum feel obliged to pay that much so their child can host the perfect politically correct party!? We are all in the same financial boat. The problem lies in not setting the precedent early. I am close enough to all the mums of my sons peer group at the moment to just be honest with them. No underhand ganging, mini revolutions up or boycotting. Get real and communicate with each other, you might be surprised with the response!!

We are not all as... involved as you. People are different. We try to do the best we can for our children. The way we talk to people, and feel that we can talk to people, tends to be based on our relationship with them; and thankfully there are many variations involved. Wouldn't the world boring if that weren't the case?

Morty_007 wrote: »

I guess it may be alien to some to want to spend time having fun with their babies.

A rather harsh assumption there.

Morty_007 wrote: »

They love going in and out of the ball pits, down the slides with us and through the soft play areas.

I know exactly what you mean. It's great fun acting like a big kid with them: 'makes for a great bonding session.

Morty_007 wrote: »

I have realised I am probably describing a relationship that many don't and won't have with their children, so it might be hard to understand.

Your point is very clear. It's not necessary to be so insulting.

Morty_007 wrote: »

I notice that you didn't comment on "expecting" a gift when your child hosts a party. I suspect because the answer is a resounding "YES". What sort of an example is THAT to set?

Can I ask you all something? When your child has a party, do they just send thankyou cards to the children who brought gifts or to each child for coming....or at all?

We haven't hosted a party yet. We usually just do something as a family. The responses in this thread have made me think that it's perhaps something I should do though. Our boys would love it; though they'd also love a trip to Legoland or somewhere like that too.

Oh, someone asked about age. My two boys are under 6.

NAR

Morty_007 wrote: »

And as it happens she has managed to ge the cost reduced to just £1-50 per child, parents free, as they are all babes in arms, but we will still be offering to pay our way. What a fantastic afternoon we will all have and for the princely sum of £1-50 and we won't be left worrying that my friend has had to spend out for everyone and she will be able to afford to join us for coffee later in the week too. We are all in the same financial situation!

Now £1.50 is a bit different to £7.50 don't you agree. This of course is a very acceptable amount and I certainly wouldn't have made my comment if this was the price you had quoted earlier. Have a lovely day out. _party_

Morty_007

Hi Hannoja, thanks for your comments. Many of mine were not directed at your OP but at posts made afterwards. Thanks though for thanking EVEN me for my comments.

It wasn't made clear that the £15 cost wasn't pointed out on the invitation...that completely changes the scenario...wouldn't you say? What if you had turned up without any money? She is off her rocker. Under those circumstances my boy wouldn't be going either because I don't tend to carry that much cash on me and if we had turned up we wouldn't have had the means to pay.

I haven't formed any disgust for anyone on the thread, I'm merely stating my opinion as requested in your opening post.

I reitterate...I wasn't pointing fingers at anyone in particular, there are millions of parents in this world and I know some don't wish to spend time with their children so not a harsh assumption at all. I'm not suggesting any of those people are on this thread.

The expectation of a gift comment wasn't directed at you, you didn't say it!

I think i'll leave this thread because it seems to be that if you don't agree, you're not very welcome!

I stand by every comment I have made and haven't directed anything at anyone inparticular merely expressed my own opinion as everyone else has.
Enjoy your parties (or not as the case may be!)

Morty_007

NAR wrote: »

Now £1.50 is a bit different to £7.50 don't you agree. This of course is a very acceptable amount and I certainly wouldn't have made my comment if this was the price you had quoted earlier. Have a lovely day out. _party_

Changes the scenario in the same way as the OP not mentioning that the money wasn't mentioned on the invitation...? (didn't know the price change at the time of posting BTW)

Carmina_Piranha_3

hannoja wrote: »

Well.. actually there was no indication of payment being required on the invite. It was one of those invites with the 'party' and RSVP details on, and the tear-off accept/decline section at the bottom. It was only because I asked the boy's mother that I learned that it would cost £15...

Had it been approached differently, in more of a 'We're doing this. If you fancy doing it too that would be great. It costs £15", that would've been much better.

a proper invite making it out to be a party but then expecting you to pay - that's awful :eek: how cruel to any children who won't be able to go :mad:

do you know who else has been invited and whether they know they're supposed to pay?

i don't mean to sound patronising, but are you certain that the boy's mum was telling you you are expected to pay? did you ask her how much it was, or did she bring it up? i find it hard to believe she could hand out a proper party invite if she wasn't going to pay the entrance herself. i'm hoping that there's been some kind of misunderstanding or crossed wires, because a proper invite and then expecting you to pay is bl00dy awful!

you didn't mention where this park is by the way, is it somewhere you might use tesco deals?

hannoja

No Morty I didn't say about the money not being mentioned to start with. I felt it wasn't necessary. I was surprised at being expected to pay and wanted to see what others thought. The many supportive responses I received reassured me and helped me make my decision. Yes, it does change the scenario, from bad to worse

I apologise if you felt misled, but you did make an assumption: one of several I thought, which is why I found your posts rather insulting. Again, I apologise if your comments weren't directed at anyone in this thread: it was me who made an assumption there, as that's how it 'read' to me. I tried to keep my 'mouth' shut, but failed :wall:

I'm not insulted Carmina. I have questioned that myself several times :eek: When I asked the mother how much it was, she told me £15 and said that it would be cheaper for members. I can't see what else she could have meant... I don't know about Tesco deals, but the day has been and gone now. Thanks for the suggestion, I'll have to bear it in mind 'next time' *prays there isn't a next time*. I know a couple of others were going, but haven't had chance to say much more than 'hello' to them lately.

Carmina_Piranha_3

perhaps your son could make friends with different boys before this time next year

did you give her a reason for him not going? what a lovely boy to say he didn't mind - bless him.

misty

Spendless wrote: »

hmm but the parents who stopped all day probably bought food and drink there and were introduced to a place that maybe they'd never been before -hence bringing new customers. To go from that to charging parents to stay would put me off a place tbh.

I can see your point but in their defence what he said is that parents would come and bring their other children, stay all day and so they were losing out. They may have bought food but if they did they would have got a lovely meal or snack at a reasonable price and not some over priced rubbish. The price for the kids at the party was below what you pay for a play area, included seeing/feeding the animals, an outdoor play area as well as toy tractors etc and they could stay all day. The party food was lovely, plentiful and they included vegetarian choices. i did feel it was value for money. And at Xmas they have the best father xmas around with real reindeer.

Sweet_Pea_2

Do you think that when you said "how much is it going to cost" and the parent said "£15" that she may have meant that is how much it is costing THEM per child, not that they were expecting you to pay as they didnt mention it on the invite. If it didnt mention a cost on the invite it would not have even entered my head to ask, I would assume that my child was being paid for by a very generous host, and I would be sure to get an extra special gift!
If they really are expecting you to pay, I also as others have said would say no on principle as I think its really quite cheeky.
Your little boy sounds lovely.

Carmina_Piranha_3

whenever we invite other kids anywhere their mums always give them enough money to pay for their entrance and food, or ask us how much they should send them with. that's a good way to ask actually - 'how much should i send him with' seems like an innocent enough question, covering how expensive is the food, will the hosts kids be buying toys or putting money into arcade machines etc. but it also lets the other person tell you if your kid is expected to pay their own entrance fee.

one boy we used to take out used to come with enough money to pay, but if we were paying his mum told him he had to buy us all ice creams